Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Just Toss That Salad

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

(It is within my first few months at my job. I have a customer wanting to exchange a bag of salad because he insists that it went bad too quickly. I ask him to grab another bag and I’ll make the exchange.)

Me: “Sir, these bags don’t match. This one is Dole, but the one you brought is something different.”

Customer: “Yeah, uh, you guys are out of that one.”

(I’m still learning the store’s inventory, so I continue to attempt the exchange.)

Me: “Sir, the barcode had been ripped open. I can’t exchange it if I can’t scan it.”

Customer: “Can’t you just scan this one?” *gestures to the new bag*

Me: “No, I can’t do that.”

(I continue to examine the bag and notice it lists the website of our competitor, which I know is closed at that time of night.)

Me: “You didn’t get this salad here; you got it at [Competitor.]”

Customer: “No, I got it here. I think it’s just listing the website.”

Me: “I can’t exchange it if it’s not something we carry. You need to take it to [Competitor.]”

Customer: “But they’re closed!”

(I continued to explain to him that I couldn’t exchange it. After that, he left. I could tell he was upset, but I still to this day wonder why he was so intent on exchanging a $2 bag of salad at that exact moment.)

The Highs Of The Obama Administration

| Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

(A man and his wife ask about pins (highly collectable for people who like this restaurant). We have a special set of pins that says “5280”.)

Man: “What does the “5280” stand for?”

Me: “Well, you’re in the Mile High City. Do you know how many feet are in a mile?”

Man: “Ah! Yes! You know, we from the coast are much smarter than you here.”

Me: “What?”

Man: “See, with the lack of oxygen here, you just don’t get to be as smart.”

Me: “You do know we build the NASA rockets here, right? We actually have very smart people here.”

Man: “But Obama killed the whole NASA program. He’s bad news.”

Me: “The other guy was just as bad.”

Man: “No—”

Me: *to the wife* “So what pins were you interested in?”

Demanding A Slush-Fund

| Granada Hills, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks in and buys a Drink. It is self serve, so we show him where the machine is. Five minutes later, he walks back in, with a big stain on his shirt. He yells at me.)

Customer: “You did this to me!!!”.

(I try to calm him down but he insists that I owe him free gas.)

Me: “A child could use this machine; why can’t you?”

(After arguing for a bit, an eight-year-old child came in, bought a hot dog and a Drink, and left. The customer sheepishly left. He came back three times in the next week demanding free gas and a new Drink.)

H2-Slow, Part 12

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer and her daughter walk in to the store. The daughter has a water damaged phone due to her sweating so much through her pants, where her phone was in her pocket.)

Me: “I’m afraid you will have to take it to a corporate location to get it repaired or replaced.

Mother: *coming to the sudden realization that liquid might not be the best thing for a phone* “So water is bad for phones, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mother: “So if I use my phone to play my music in the shower, will that hurt it?”

Me: “Yes, it’s water.

Mother: “What if I put my phone in a bag?” *pause* “Oh, well, that won’t work. I have to plug my headphones in…”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 11
H2Slow, Part 10
H2Slow, Part 9

Getting Cheesed Off With The Salad

| The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Excuse me, what is the difference between the chicken salad and the cheese salad?”

Me: “Well… the chicken salad comes with chicken, and the cheese salad comes with cheese.”

Customer: “I see. You should really put that on the menu, you know, it’s very confusing.”

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