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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

A Big Mayo No No, Part 2

| Ft. Collins, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m handing out boxed lunches at a construction site. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “How does this work?” *holds up a mayo packet*

Me: “Rip it open a little bit and squeeze it.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Tear the corner.”

Customer: *Blank stare*

Me: “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

(I tear off the corner and give it to him. The customer then bends over and holds the mayo packet in his hand the way you would a can of soda. It’s also upside down – so before I can say anything, he squeezes as hard as he can and sprays the mayo in his face.)

Customer: “HEY! This thing didn’t work!”

Me: “You held it upside down, sir.” *I hold out a napkin but he just glares*

Customer: “Your fault! Your mayo packet was broken!”

(I honestly wish he did that with a mustard packet…)

Related:
A Big Mayo No No

Pin Down The Problem To Him

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a Chinese takeout, and our debit/credit machine has a few steps to it: verify total, tip screen, verify total, PIN, and THEN it begins to process the transaction. The steps are clearly labelled. In this particular transaction, I have entered the total manually and handed the machine to the customer, and he has apparently gone through the steps with relative ease until this happens while the machine is processing.)

Customer: “Hang on, what the hell is this? You said my total was [amount] but now it says [much higher amount]. What did it do?”

Me: *presses the ‘Cancel’ button as fast as possible*

Customer: “What’s wrong with your machine?”

Me: *glances at the ‘Cancelled’ print out, to verify what happened, very quickly folds it up and hands both copies to the customer* “These receipts just say that it didn’t go through, if you want to keep those.”

Customer: “I don’t want to keep those; why would I want to keep this?”

Me: “I really think you do, sir. It looks like you entered your PIN number in the tip screen.”

(The kicker? He would have had to enter his PIN twice to get the transaction to that point. I would have thought that would have been a warning sign. Then again, the fact that one of the steps clearly says ‘TIP’ should have been one too.)

Raspberry Lie, Part 2

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I own a vape shop that sells about 200 flavors of e-juice, which customers can sample before purchasing. My employee working today is doing his best to help a difficult elderly customer.)

Customer: “What does the strawberries & cream taste like?”

Employee: “Well, it has a fresh strawberry flavor with a taste of sweet cream.”

Customer: “Does it taste like strawberries?”

Employee: “Well, yes…”

Customer: “Does it have berries in it?”

Employee: “It is an artificial flavoring, so not actual berries, but it does have the flavor of…..”

Customer: “Ew, no! I hate berries! No berries! Take the berries out!”

Employee: “Sir, we have plenty of other flavors you can try. I can not take the berries out of this one”

Customer: “Well why the h*** not?! I want the strawberries & cream without the berries!”

Employee: “I do have a plain cream flavor if you’d like to try it.”

Customer: “NO! I want this one without the berries! You don’t even listen… You know what… This one here says raspberry lemonade. I’ll just take that”

Me: “Sir, a raspberry is a… Never mind. Great choice. Your total is [total]. Have a great day!”

Related:
Raspberry Lie