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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Customers Like A Fish Out Of Water

| Sunnyvale, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I work in the animal department of a big pet store chain.)

Me: “Hi, I hear you’re looking to buy a fish today!”

Customer: “Yeah, I wanted to get my friend one for her birthday.”

Me: “Okay, did she already buy everything she needs? Tank, filter, bubbler?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “How big is the tank? Just so you know these guys can get really big, up to two feet sometimes.”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(I show her an aisle of some different tank sizes, and she points to the 10-gallon. It’s technically enough for a small goldfish for a while, and at this point I can’t say no. I’m asking a few more questions about the setup when she starts to look impatient.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but, can I just get the fish already? I’ve got to get back to work.”

Me: *I stare at her, confused* “Work?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m on my lunch break.”

Me: “Uh, how long until you will be off of work? You should probably just come back to buy the fish later.”

Customer: “Like, three hours. It’s fine, I’ll put it in the car.”

(It’s the middle of a heat wave in California, at least 90 degrees outside.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just leave the fish in the car for a few hours. Even if I could sell it to you, it would probably die and you’d be right back in here.”

Customer: *doesn’t even look annoyed, just… kinda blank* “Oh.” *after a few moments* “What if I take it with me?”

Me: “Into your work?”

Customer: “Yeah, I can put it in the break room.”

(I proceeded to explain to her, again, that the fish would probably die in the bag before she even got it to her friend’s tank. After a few more minutes of her still trying to get the fish, she left. I didn’t see her again.)

A Service To The Service

| NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at a cable company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company.]

Customer: “Yeah I just made a payment and I need to know if my services are working.”

Me: “Okay, are your Internet and TV working?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then, yes, your services are working.”

They Got The Free Brain At Birth

| WA, Australia | Extra Stupid

(A woman is looking confused at a display of spray bottles, and calls me over.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what does this ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ mean on this ticket? Does it mean I buy one and get one free?”

Me: *unsure if there’s a hidden meaning I’m not aware of* “…Yes, it does.”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Okay, thanks!” *grabs one and walks away*