Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Charlie Is Barely Barley, Bizarrely

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(We interact with customers over the phone, and sometimes have to spell things out for them, so for clarity’s sake, we are encouraged to memorize and use the NATO phonetics to spell when needed. A as in Alpha, B as in Bravo…)

Me: “Okay, please type this in: C for Charlie—”

Customer: “B for barley?”

(So much for clarity!)

Knows Zip About The Code

| NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

Me: “Thank you, Ma’am. Now I need your address so we can mail your order out to you.”

Caller: “I live at [Street, City, State, USA].”

Me: “OK, ma’am, I have all that. May I have your ZIP code, please?”

Caller: “My what?”

Me: “Your ZIP code. It’s part of your address. After your address.”

Caller: “After my address? No, I don’t have one.”

Me: “Everyone has a ZIP code. It’s the number that follows your address. If you live in the USA, you have a ZIP code. All addresses have one.”

Caller: “And I’m telling you I never heard of such a thing, I’ve lived in this house for 15 years and there’s no ZIP code here.”

Me: “You live in [City], right?”

Caller “Yes. In [City] in [State].”

Me: “Then your ZIP code is a five digit number and would probably begin with [number].”

Caller: “You’re out of your mind! I am looking out my window RIGHT NOW at my house number, on the front porch and there is NO ZIP CODE!”

Drive-Thru Has Its Hang-Ups

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’m a customer in line at the drive thru. I’ve just ordered and this happens with the customer behind me:)

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

(A few moments pass, and the employee repeats the greeting.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “Hang on! Jesus, can’t you see I’m on the phone!?”

The Lie-To-Yourself Diet

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. Can I interest you in two large pizzas with up to five toppings and a pop for only $22.99?”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that much. I’m on a diet.”

Me: “Okay. What can I get you tonight?”

Customer: “Can I get a large veggie pizza, but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, that would just be a meats pizza with tomatoes.”

Customer: “No, I’m on a diet. I need a veggie pizza because of my diet. but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total will be $11 and we will have it ready in 15 minutes.”

(I rang up the order the way she wanted it but told my coworkers that it was just a meats pizza with tomatoes.)

Not So Rewarding, Part 2

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(Every winter my store offers a rewards program for store credit card holders. The program is heavily advertised, especially at the cash wrap. Regardless, this exchange happens at least once a day.)

Me: “I see you’re paying with your [Store credit card]. Have you already enrolled in [rewards program]?”

Customer: *hostile* “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a rewards program that—”

Customer: “No! I don’t want anything to do with that!”

Me: “Okay, your total will be—”

Customer: *suspiciously eyeing rewards program advertisement* “What’s this 10% thing? I want 10%!”

Me: “That’s [rewards program]. That—”

Customer: “No! I don’t want it!”

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Not So Rewarding