Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

They Must Be Quite New To This

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I am on my second shift at a till at a new coffee shop, where I am still unfamiliar with the system and therefore very slow. Thankfully, it is at night, so the lineup is usually only two or three people and the customers spend at most three minutes waiting in line.)

Me: *to approaching customer* “Hello! How may I help you?”

Customer: *he has been waiting in line for less than a minute* “What is taking so long? The store is never this slow.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’m new to working here, so I’m still learning everything.”

Customer: “They hired MORE new people?”

Me: “Yes, that’s how stores work.”

Customer: “Well they need to stop hiring so many new people! Don’t you agree?”

Me: “…no?”

(Clearly he doesn’t understand how I got my job.)

What A Total Dipstick

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(The customer pulls up on the service drive. She is driving a brand new car. She does not bother being polite, instead gets out of the car screaming.)

Customer: “This car is a lemon; I’m gonna sue you all!

(Her car is pouring oil on the drive. The service advisor goes over, she shuts it off, and he opens the hood and goes to check the oil. There is no dipstick.)

Service Advisor: “Where is the dipstick?”

Customer: *smugly* “I put it in the trunk so I don’t lose it.”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

, | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working in the back making orders. One comes up on the screen for a burger, no tomato. The cashier gets my attention.)

Cashier: “[My Name], that ‘no tomato’ is an allergy.”

(I go through the normal process of swapping utensils, cleaning the work area and so forth. I start making the burger and pause halfway as a thought occurs.)

Me: “Hey, [Cashier], that tomato allergy? It’s no ketchup either, then?”

(The cashier asks.)

Cashier: “No, they said it’s fine. Actually they want extra.”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2

A Confusion Intrusion

| Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

(The store I work for is famous for finding music and DVDs for customers who aren’t always certain what it is they’re looking for. As a result, we often end up special ordering for many customers, and the policy is to call to inform the customer when their order has arrived in store. If no one answers, staff are encouraged to leave a message, but sometimes customers call back anyway to let us know they’re coming in or just to ask questions. Sometimes, though, they just call because we did first…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Music Store]; you’re speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “…Who is this?”

Me: “[My Name] from [Music Store]. Did you have an enquiry?”

(There’s a long pause in which the customer doesn’t say anything.)

Me: “Hello? Are you still there?”

Customer: “Why did you… What do you mean?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Why would I have an enquiry?”

Me: “I only meant… What was your reason for calling today?”

Customer: “I didn’t call you.”

(It dawns on me where the confusion must be coming from.)

Me: “You… did you have a missed call from this number, by chance? My coworker might have been calling about an order you placed.”

Customer: “What order?”

Me: “Have you placed an order with us recently? If you give me your name I can check the order for you.”

Customer: *gives surname*

Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Your order for [Title] came in this morning. We were just calling to let you know.”

Customer: “You can do that?!”

Me: “All the time, sure. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “…Don’t call here again.” *click*

The Refund Is The Icing On The Cake

| MS, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(It’s the last Friday before Christmas and I have just made the final closing announcements.  A woman and her granddaughter walk in with one minute on the clock to do a return.)

Customer: *reading from receipt* “If you are dissatisfied with your purchase please return the item with this receipt for a refund.”

(I look in the box, and immediately call for a manager. The contents? An open bag of modeling clay and a brand name cake decorating icing tip.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I’ll need a manager to approve this return.”

Customer: *repeats previous statement several times*

Me: *smiles awkwardly*

(When my manager finally arrives, she is as shocked as I am, and hesitant to do the return.)

Customer: *raises voice* “I demand a full refund! The clay wouldn’t pipe like icing!”

Me: *reciting from back of receipt* “We reserve the right to research and refuse any return.”

Customer: “Why would you refuse it!?! I’m not happy with it so you have to return it.”

Me: “You mixed modeling clay with a cake decorating tip!”

Customer: “So?!”

Manager: “I’ll return the clay, but not the tip. You don’t have the original packing for it anyway.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Fine!! But I want your corporate number!”

(Not the weirdest return I’ve been forced to do, but probably the most insulting.)

Page 108/359First...106107108109110...Last