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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 20

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer comes in to return a wireless mouse that apparently doesn’t work. I always check them in our own computer before returning them, because the customers are usually doing something wrong.)

Customer: “This mouse doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, what’s it doing?”

Customer: “Nothing.”

Me: “Okay, and you had the batteries in right?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “And you had it turned on?”

Customer: “YES! I’M NOT AN IDIOT!”

Me: “I wasn’t calling you an idiot. A lot of people don’t realize you can turn them on or off. ”

(I check the batteries, turn it on and plug it in. It works.)

Me: “Hmm, the mouse is working fine. Are you sure you had it turned on?”

Customer: “YES! And I had the little thing in the mouse where it’s supposed to go!”

Me: “What little thing?”

Customer: “That little thing that sticks in the bottom of the mouse!”

(I take the USB receiver out of the computer and hold it up.)

Me: “This?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “You kept it in the mouse?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “That’s supposed to go in the computer…”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17

Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop, Part 4

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We have two doughnuts that look the same but are filled with different fillings. The only way to tell is to look at the holes where the fillings are put in.)

Customer: “I’ll have the choc iced cream, and she’ll have the choc iced custard.”

Me: *holds up doughnut so she can see the filling* “Okay, the choc iced cream is white in the middle and the—”

Customer: “Why is it white?”

Customer’s Daughter: “It’s cream. You wanted the cream one. I’m getting custard.”

Customer: “Oh, it has cream in the middle?”

Customer’s Daughter: “You asked for the cream one.”

Customer: “I just wanted a plain one. It didn’t say that the choc iced cream had anything in it!”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Searched Pole To Pole

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am working at the front desk at a local grocery store when a woman who is known for being difficult walks in. I say ‘good morning’ to her only to be ignored. I go back to what I was doing and about a minute later the woman is back at the front desk banging her hand on the counter.)

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Woman: “Where are your dried tomatoes? I have spent over twenty minutes looking all over this store and can’t find them!”

Me: “They are very easy to find. Go to aisle three, look for the big support pole in the middle of the isle, they are right across from the red fire extinguisher.”

Woman: “Come show me; I’ve looked EVERYWHERE in this store.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I am alone here right now. My coworker is on break. Let me find one of the stockers to help.”

Woman: “Never mind! I’ll find them myself…. Aisle three?”

Me: “Right, aisle three; look for the support pole.”

(She disappears for a couple of minutes, but returns empty handed and starts banging her hand on the counter again.)

Woman: “I looked EVERYWHERE and couldn’t find them! You should be ashamed you don’t know your store better!”

(By this time my coworker returned from break.)

Me: “Let me show you where they are, ma’am.”

(We walk to aisle three.)

Me: *I point up* “Aisle three.” *point to the fire extinguisher* “Red fire extinguisher on the big support pole.” *and point to the dried tomatoes* “Take your pick, ma’am.”

Woman: “This pole wasn’t here a minute ago!”