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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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The Perfect Picture Of A Bad Customer

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in the electronics department of an extremely large global retail chain, which could frankly fill its own section of this website. Every couple of weeks we get a customer who understands very little about her devices, but treats our associates with incredible disrespect and rudeness and storms off before we have a chance to explain what she needs. I happen to draw the short straw this time.)

Customer: “I need to know how to download pictures from my phone to my computer so I can print them.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of camera do you have?”

Customer: *pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes as though praying for patience* “The KIND. That takes PICTURES.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but there are several different options available depending on the type of camera. Let’s try this another way: Does your camera have a slot called ‘SD Card’?”

Customer: *sighing, rolling her eyes* “Now how the h*** am I supposed to know that?!”

Me: “Sometimes it’s next to the battery compartment. Would you mind opening it up so I can check?”

Customer: “YES, I MIND! IF I OPEN IT I’M GOING TO LOSE ALL MY PICTURES!”

Me: “Ma’am, rest assured that your pictures aren’t stored in the batteries.”

(At this point, the customer threatens to have my job if her pictures are deleted, calls me a pissant, and goes on a rant about retail workers while trying to open the compartment. Finally she manages it.)

Me: “Okay, your camera already has a Micro SD card in it. You’ll need to physically remove it to transfer your photos, since I see the USB slot is broken. We have some kiosks available that will allow you to print them off right now if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, because you guys keep copies of my photos and I don’t want that.”

Me: *losing patience a bit* “Ma’am, we have never kept a copy of anyone’s photo. We won’t return photos that are pornographic or copyrighted, but those go into the shredder, not our pockets. Now, your computer will need an SD card reader in order to—”

Customer: *doing the nose pinch thing again* “Yes, I already know that. Have a good day.” *storms off*

Me: “See you in a couple of weeks…”

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She Needs All The Sweetness She Can Get

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working at a well-known fast food restaurant when a lady comes in and asks for a large vanilla iced coffee with two extra pumps of sugar. We already put five pumps in all large iced coffees. A little while later she comes running back up to the counter. I hear the conversation between my manager and her.)

Lady: “You got it wrong again! This is too sweet! How hard is it to make a god- d***ed iced coffee with TWO extra sugar!?”

Manager: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I will be happy to replace your coffee but I have to ask you to refrain from cussing. There are children here.”

Lady: “Fine! Just get me my coffee. ONLY TWO extra sugars! Not 20 like you always do!”

(My manager goes to make her a new iced coffee. He hands it to her and asks her to try it.)

Lady: “Finally! Someone can get it right.”

(She storms out of the store without another word and I walk over to my manager.)

Me: “Sir, I made that coffee and I can assure you I only put 2 extra sugars in it.”

Manager: “I know. She comes in every now and then and does the same thing. What she really wants is ONLY two pumps of sugar.”

Me: “Has anyone told her?”

Manager: “Yes, but she insists that extra means only.”

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New Lengths Of Stupidity

, | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Non-Dialogue

Email from customer about an item she just purchased: “Your listings says that the item would be 20″ wide, but it didn’t say how wide twenty inches was. It is way bigger than I expected!”

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Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip, Part 2

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Is that a chip card?”

Customer: “Yes. Is there a chip reader? Do I insert it?”

Me: “Yes, it will tell you on the screen when to insert your card.”

(The customer tries to SWIPE her card, twice, both times backwards. Nothing, of course, happens.)

Me: “It’s a chip card, right? You’ll have to insert it.”

(The customer swipes again, this time backwards and upside down. Still nothing.)

Me: “You’ll need to insert your card.”

Customer: “It says ‘Error reading card, please insert.’ Should I swipe it again?”*swipes card again upside/backwards/inside out if possible, before I have a chance to respond*

Me: “You need to insert your card, ma’am.”

Customer: *finally inserts the card* “I don’t understand why these chip readers take so long.”

Related:

Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip

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It’s Taco-ver

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a very popular Mexican grill restaurant where we serve food down a line and you build your item of choice to your liking. A customer orders a bowl and starts to make it and everything goes completely fine. Next she decides to order for someone else.)

Customer: *in a Hispanic accent* “I also want a burrito.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am!”

(I put tortilla in the press and proceed to take it out and get ready to build it.)

Customer: “Do you have smaller burritos?”

Me: “No ma’am, the only thing smaller is tacos.”

Customer: “Oh! Yeah, that’s what I want!”

(Our tacos come with three in one serving so I put the taco shells in the press and proceed to ask her what kind of rice beans and meat she would like in her tacos.)

Me: “So what kind of rice would you like?”

Customer: “Uh… I’ll take the brown rice.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of beans would you like?”

Customer: “Black beans.”

Me: “Great, now what kind of meat?”

(Everything seems fine until I get to the third taco. Keep in mind that she’s watched me make all three tacos the entire time.)

Customer: “Oh, I only wanted one taco.”

(I look at my manager who sees my face and is trying so hard not to laugh.)

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