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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Dandruff And Huff About It

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at the front desk of a gym that has locker rooms stocked with mouthwash, deodorant, soap, and hairspray. Our showers are stocked with soap and shampoo. One of our members, a middle-aged man, approaches me at the desk.)

Member: “Excuse me, but why does the mouthwash in the showers taste like shampoo?”

Me: “I haven’t actually been in the men’s showers myself, but I know the women’s showers do not have a mouthwash dispenser — only shampoo and soap.”

Member: “The mouthwash definitely tasted like shampoo. I hope it was mouthwash…”

Me: *turning to my male coworker a few feet away* “[Coworker], do we keep mouthwash in the men’s showers?”

Coworker: “No… there’s only shampoo and soap in there.”

Member: *with a worried look on his face* “Oh. Um, thank you. Bye now.”

(The member leaves immediately.)

Coworker: “Do you think he was joking?”

Me: “No, he was definitely serious. That guy gargled shampoo.”

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He Shed His Brain A While Ago

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Customer: “Do you have anything that can prevent a dog from shedding?”

Me: “Yes, we have brushes and combs for—”

Customer: “No, I mean something to stop them from shedding all together?”

Me: *confused* “Uhm. No. We don’t.”

Customer: “So, there’s not, like, a pill or something that could make a dog not shed?”

Me: “No, it’s natural for animals to shed hair. They have to—”

Customer: “So, if I went to the vet, I couldn’t get, like, a shot or something that will make them stop shedding?”

Me: “No, animals have to shed. They lose hair because—”

Customer: “So, if I invented something that would make a dog never shed, I’d be, like, rich.”

Me: “Uhmm… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Customer: “But what if I did? Then I’d be rich!”

Me: *giving up* “Yup, I guess so.”

Customer: *to his girlfriend* “Hey, babe! If I invented a shot that could make it so dogs never shed, I’d be rich!”

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A Fee(ble) Excuse

| Yankton, SD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a bank call center. More often than not, I get calls about people who want to appeal late fees on their credit cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to appeal my late fee on my credit statement.”

Me: “Sure thing. What is the reason you are appealing your late fee?”

Customer: “I forgot to pay my bill.”