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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Locked On Numbers

| UAE | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a gaming centre in the Middle East. Each of our customers has a username and a password. One day a customer comes in and sits in front of a computer and after about five seconds he calls me in a very urgent tone.)

Customer: “[My Name]!”

Me: “Yes, sir, do you have any problems?”

Customer: “I can’t login. I am not able to type my password. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”

(I type some alphabets in the password field and it seems to work fine.)

Customer: “My password is a number. I am not able to type numbers. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”

(I type the numbers that are above the alphabets in the keyboard and again it works fine.)

Customer: *points to the number pad in the keyboard* “I am not able to type numbers from here. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”

(I notice the number lock is off. I switch it on and start typing using the number pad.)

Customer: *blank stare*

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Email Fail, Part 8

| HI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer]. Your flight date change has been confirmed and issued a new ticket for. All I need to do is to send you an email so let me verify the email address on file.” *reads back his Gmail address*

Customer: “No, no, no! That one is in Maui. I’m in Honolulu right now; I’ll give you another one.”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 7
Email Fail, Part 6
Email Fail, Part 5

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Her Excuse Is Not So Fresh

| IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am scanning a lady’s groceries at the checkout. She has several containers of a brand of guacamole that is packaged without a re-sealable top.)

Lady: “I love this guacamole you carry! Too bad it spoils so fast.”

Me: “Well, they are freshly made, so it’s important to keep them chilled.”

Lady: “I mean, they go bad in a matter of hours! I should really be able to return them!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Lady: “I have to buy a lot so I always have some! I mean really, why do they come in such large packages if it spoils so quickly?”

Me: “Well, it will go brown on the top if the lid is off for a matter of time, but that’s just an oxidization reaction, like in apples, so it’s still fresh.”

Lady: “I should get a refund every time this guacamole spoils!”

Me: “Guacamole does not go bad that quickly. It’s still perfectly edible even if there’s slight discoloration.”

Lady: *taking receipt and her several tubs of guacamole* No! It spoils! I’ll get my money back one of these days!”

Coworker: *once she has left the building* “The only thing spoiled here is her.”

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Has Beef With Your Explanation

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in a “healthy” grocery store chain. Walking to the front to start my cashier shift, a customer stops me and asks for help. This customer is about 50-55 and female.)

Customer: “Can you please tell me where the lamb chops are?”

Me: “Sure.”

(Since we are right by the meat section I show her where they are.)

Customer: “Oh, excellent. Can you tell me, are these lamb chops pork or beef?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Are these pork lamb chops or beef lamb chops?”

(Before I can respond I have to think about her question for a moment.)

Me: “Are you asking if they are beef chops or pork chops? Those are lamb chops.”

Customer: *now getting irritated* “No, I KNOW they are lamb chops. Are they beef lamb chops or pork lamb chops?!”

Me: “Ma’am, lamb chops come from lamb, pork from pigs, and beef from cows.”

Customer: “Yes! So are these beef lamb chops or pork lamb chops?!”

Me: “Ma’am… lamb chops come from little baby sheep, baa baa.” *yes, I make the sounds* “Beef comes from cows, mooo! Pork comes from pigs, oink!

Customer: “No need to be so rude!”

(About 30 minutes later, my manager asks me into his office with a bemused look on his face. He asks about the conversation with the customer, who of course didn’t tell him anything but my last sentence.)

Boss: “So, what happened?”

Me: “Well, I could tell you the conversation in its entirety or I could ask you one question.”

Boss: “Okay, what is the question?”

Me: *deadpan* “Those lamb chops we have in the meat section, are they beef lamb chops or pork lamb chops?”

(Pause.)

Boss: “Thank you for not making me talk to her.”

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Spellbound

| Tampa, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

Caller: “I need your email address so I can send in my order.”

Me: “USA [store number]…”

Caller: “How do you spell that?”

Me: “USA [store number]…”

Caller: “Yes, how do you spell that?”

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