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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Not Quite Floating Their Boat

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(The very first customer of my shift comes in.)

Customer: “Hey, I would like a [Soda], please.”

Me: “Yeah, sure. Would you like ice?”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, sure. Only a small amount though.”

Me: “All right, then, here you go. That’s $1.50.”

(I hand him the Soda and he gives me the money.)

Customer: *right before he leaves* “Hey, what’s this?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Customer: “I said not to add too much ice and here, see? It’s full of it!”

Me: “Sir, I’m pretty sure that ice floats.”

Customer: “Liar! Here, I’ll show!”

(The customer pokes at the ice and the ice bobs up and down. He pokes it for three minutes.)

Manager: *randomly coming out of nowhere* “Sir, ice floats.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, then. Bye.”

Me: “…”

(He also forgot to take the lid, the straw, and his car keys.)

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Insert Inert

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “With credit”

Me: *clicks button on screen* “Okie dokie, insert whenever you’re ready.”

(The customer holds up her card. Like most cards these days, it has a chip. She tries to swipe it and the machine times out.)

Me: “Your card is a chip so you will have to insert it. Let’s try it now.”

(Customer swipes again.)

Me: “You have to insert.”

(She turns her card over and tries to swipe again.)

Me: “No, see the chip at the end of your card?”

(She turns her card so that she swipes the chip.)

Me: “You have to insert it! See the slot at the bottom there? Put the end with the chip in there.”

(The customer stared at the slot. Confused, she gave her card to me and I correctly inserted it for her.)

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Can’t Break Free Of The ‘Get One Free’ Cycle

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “That’s wrong; the photo paper is buy one get one free.”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Then why is it coming up at $17?”

Me: “Because that’s how much the photo paper is. It’s $17 each but you got two for $17.”

Customer: “No, it’s $11.”

(I ask my coworker to check the sign for me.)

Customer: “And it’s supposed to be buy one get one free!”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

(My coworker calls me to say that the sign says FROM $11 so I explain that to the customer, but he doesn’t understand, so I take him to the aisle to show him.)

Me: “See, this sign advertising the buy one get one free, is saying that the prices START at $11. That doesn’t mean they are all $11. The paper you picked has its own sign here, see? It says it’s $17.”

Customer: “But it says $11 on this sign! They lie!”

Me: “No, it says FROM $11. That means that the photo paper on for Buy One Get One Free is $11 or more. The one you picked is $17.”

Customer: “And it isn’t buy one get one free?”

Me: Yes, it is. All the [Brand] photo paper packs are buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Well which one is $11?”

Me: “The 4×6. You have 8×10.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll just get one, then.”

Me: “Why would you only get one? It’s buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Because you said it wasn’t!”

Me: “No, I didn’t. I just said that it wasn’t $11.”

Customer: “NO! You told me that the paper I wanted wasn’t buy one get one free!”

Me: “I never once said that. I told you repeatedly that the paper you wanted was still buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

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