Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 11

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a southwestern-themed restaurant, and many of our recipes include similar spices, just in different amounts. Onion is one of the most prominent ingredients in our recipes, and we sometimes get a request for ‘no onion’ in certain items. We can make some things, but it’d be pretty much just lettuce, cheese, and any number of fresh chopped vegetables that aren’t onion or mixed with anything that has onion in it. As such, I get this man in line.)

Customer: “I’d like a burrito.”

Me: “Okay, would you like that with or without guacamole today?”

Customer: “With.”

(The guacamole has onion in it.)

Me: “What kind of meat on your burrito?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

(The chicken has onion in the seasoning.)

Me: “Any rice or beans?”

Customer: “Sure, I’ll take [rice with onion in it], and [beans with onion in them].”

Me: “Any grilled vegetables?”

Customer: “Ooh, no, thank you. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “Sir… if you’re allergic to onions then I highly suggest you don’t eat this burrito. There is a load of onion in it already.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m only allergic to onion that I can see.”

(Eight years of culinary experience, and this is the first time I’ve heard that excuse. I made him his burrito – leaving off anything with visible onion – and he went on his way. No complaints yet.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 10
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 9
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8

Their Comprehension Is Limited

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I’m a manager of a small pizzeria. Our coupons do not have expiration dates, but do specify “for a limited time only; all prices subject to change without notice.”)

Customer #1: “I got this coupon for $11.99.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that offer has expired. The combo is now $12.99, so it will just be a dollar more.”

Customer #2: *evidently grabs phone from [Customer #1]* “HEY! You gotta accept this coupon because there’s no expiration date on it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that was for a limited time. We no longer have that offer. It’s now $12.99.”

Customer #2: “Nope, it doesn’t have an expiration date! All it says is, “limited time offer; prices subject to change without notice.” SEE, it doesn’t have a date on it! So you gotta take it.”

(After this goes on a couple of more rounds, she angrily accepted it, and let me know she’ll be contacting the owner.)

Growing Bed, Shrinking Brains

| Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these sheets.”

Coworker: “Okay, let’s have a look. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No. The sheets are faulty and I want a refund!”

Coworker: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “I brought them a couple of years ago for my queen-size bed. Last week I upgraded to a king size bed and THEY DON’T FIT. No-one told me they wouldn’t fit!”

Coworker: “…”

(The customer complained so much the matter was escalated to head office. She got her refund.)

Makes You Want To Bury Your Head In The Sand

| USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working a sand art booth at a fair that comes to my city every year. I had the sand set up in the front of the booth so the kids could see it and fill up their jar with whatever colors they like. A little boy that looks around 8 or 9 years old approaches my booth.)

Little Boy: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

Little Boy: “What flavors are each of these?”

Me: “Um… it’s sand.”

(The little boy looks at me in confusion. After a few seconds he points to the purple container of sand.)

Little Boy: “So… is the purple grape flavored?”

They’re Like A Fish Out Of Water

| NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I am in a chain pet store when I overhear a conversation between a middle-aged lady, a young teenage girl and a store employee. The teen is looking at the fish display which is split into warm and cold fish.)

Teen: “Oh, this one is pretty cool!” *points at one of the “cold” fish, before moving over to the warm display* “—and this one, the angel fish!”

Lady: “Um, I think they are a warm and a cold fish… They don’t go well together.”

Teen: “So? I’m sure they will get along.”

Employee: “That’s not the point, ma’am. One lives in warm water and one lives in cold water. They are more likely to get sick and die if they are not correctly taken care of.”

Teen: “So? I’ll just put them together; they will be fine.”

Lady: “This employee just said they will probably die if you put them together. I’m not going to waste money on this.”

Employee: “We do have a 30-day return on fish that die, but I cannot in good conscience sell you these creatures if you aren’t going to take care of them properly.”

Teen: “But you will make money. Why do you care?”

Employee: “Because believe it or not, everyone who works here cares about the animals in our care. Actually, do you have everything set up ready to go or were you just looking today?”

Teen: “Oh, I was just going to put them in a goldfish bowl. They will be fine.”

Employee: *looking strained but trying to keep her cool* “We advise that you have a proper tank set up for a minimum of a month before introducing fish to it. A bowl for a goldfish only works if you clean it daily if it does not have a filter.”

Teen: “You don’t need to clean them! I want fish because you don’t ha—”

Lady: *interrupting her* “I’ve heard enough. You said you had done research on this and that everything was ready. This is why your pets keep dying. I’m going to go buy you a plant instead.” *turns to the employee* “Thank you for your help. Good bye.”

Page 1/37912345...Last