Category: Canada

Canada is a great nation, but it gets visited by its fair share of idiots, and sometimes produces them as well! If you want to know how stupid customers overcome the metric system, or those funny Canadian coins, then read on!

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A Lack Of Foreign Policy

| Canada | Canada, Popular

(I work at a coffee shop in an area frequented by tourists. We are well aware that some foreign cash/debit cards are not accepted. Lady orders coffee and tries to pay with a US debit card. The card is declined twice.)

Lady: *to her friend* “I don’t understand. I just checked my account!”

Me: “Is it a foreign card? Foreign debit cards are usually not accepted.”

Lady: “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Are you sure? I’ve never seen this bank name before.”

Lady: “It’s NOT foreign. It’s American!”

Me: “You do know that America is a foreign country for everyone outside of it?”

Lady: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

(Her friend then explained to her that Canada and the USA are different countries and suggested she use her credit card instead.)

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Travelled North Of Your Nice Level

| Canada | At The Checkout, Canada, Popular

(My friend is running a cash register in the express queue. There are usually at least two very clear signs posted about how many items you can bring into the queue. Normally we don’t say anything unless it’s busy or someone is way over the limit. We aren’t allowed to kick them out of line, but we have to tell them at the end of the order that they aren’t supposed to come through the queue. My friend is ringing through someone who has way too many items.)

Friend: “There you go! And just so you’re aware, this is the express lane, and we reserve this line-up for people with 12 items or fewer.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, I didn’t know.”

Friend: “That’s fine, but we do have signs posted at the entrance to the line-up to let people know.”

Customer: *condescendingly* “Well, I’m American.”

Friend: *wide-eyed* “Oh, my god. I didn’t realise the education system in the US was so bad! They don’t teach you to read?”

Customer: *flustered* “I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice!”

Friend: *cheerily* “Nope! We’re supposed to be polite. Have a nice day!”

(The customer didn’t say another word.)

Independent From Your Day

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Canada, Holidays, Money

(Vancouver sees a lot of American tourists. Just like American businesses, we are concerned about counterfeit bills, so typically $50 and $100, US or Canadian, are rarely accepted and there are signs to this effect. This story takes place on a July 4. Exchange rates [generally quite unfavorable] are posted in case they use USD.)

Box Office Box Office Attendant: “Your total is $25 for 2 tickets.”

Customer: “Can you break this $100(USD)?”

Box Office Attendant: “I’m sorry; sir, but we cannot accept bills of that denomination. Do you have anything smaller?”

Customer: “No, and no one takes them. What can I do?”

Box Office Attendant: “You could take it to a bank and exchange it for Canadian.”

Customer: “How? Banks are closed today.”

Box Office Attendant: “Why would they be closed?”

Customer: “It’s a holiday!”

Box Office Attendant: “July 4th is not a holiday in Canada, sir. Today is a regular weekday.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you don’t celebrate Independence Day! Why don’t you?”

Box Office Attendant: “That’s your holiday; we have Canada Day on July 1. Banks are closed that day.”

Customer: “It would be lot easier if you followed our holidays.”

Box Office Attendant: “We’ll keep that in mind. Perhaps you have a credit card?”

O, Canaduh, Part 4

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Geography

(It is a warm day in late June. The customer I am serving has a pronounced American accent.)

Me: “I couldn’t help noticing your accent. Where are you from?”

Customer: “Des Moines. It’s my first time in Canada.”

Me: “What do you think so far?”

Customer: “Well, I was a little shocked when we were flying in, actually.”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “I was pretty surprised not to see snow.”

Me: “I think that Iowa and Ontario have a pretty similar climate. Is there snow on the ground there right now?”

Customer: “No, but this is CANADA.”

Related:
O, Canaduh, Part 3
O, Canaduh, Part 2
O, Canaduh

Canadian Hair-itage

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Canada, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am getting my eyebrows threaded; while in the chair, I hear this exchange between an employee and another customer.)

Customer: “How much to thread [facial area I didn’t see]?”

Employee: “Ten dollars.”

Customer: “But I don’t have that much hair there, can I get a discount?”

Employee: “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s a flat rate; it’s ten dollars no matter how much hair you have.”

Customer: “But I’m Canadian.”

Employee: “…”

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