Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

It’s Going To Be An Interesting Knight

| Austin, TX, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, School

(Back in 1997, I am working at a large, national video rental chain. A high school aged boy, roughly 16 years old, walks up to the counter.)

Boy: “Can you help me find a movie?”

Me: “Probably, do you know the title?”

Boy: “First Knight.”

(The requested film is about the love triangle between King Arthur, Lady Guinevere, and Sir Lancelot. Action aside, it wasn’t normally requested by men, especially high-school aged. Thinking this strange, I still take him to the appropriate section, find the tape in stock, and hand it to him.)

Boy: “Thanks, man! You’ve saved my life.”

(Back at the counter he ends up coming through my line.)

Boy: “Thanks again, man. You’ve really saved me some time.”

Me: *as I hand him his change* “What do you mean?”

Boy: “Oh, we have to read this for school, and I forgot all about it.”

Me: “You have to read THIS for school?!”

Boy: *smiling as he goes out the door* “Yep, and I can’t stand Shakespeare.”

(As he walks out the door my coworker and I break down laughing, realizing that he was actually looking for “Twelfth Night.”)

Coworker: “Boy, is his teacher in for a treat!”

Cracked The Da Vinci Code

| MD, USA | Books & Reading, School

(This happens around the time many teenagers are getting books for their summer reading. Today, a young man and his mother came in looking for Dan Brown’s Inferno. My coworker is the one who helps them. I overhear this.)

Mother: “Oh, yes, my son really needs this book. Not only does he have to read the whole thing, but he also has to write a paper on it, and draw a scene from it. They’re dedicating a lot of time on this.”

(I find this odd considering Dan Brown books are not the usual summer reading requirements, but don’t think nothing further of it until the two leave with the book.)

Me: *to coworker* “Wait, he has to write a paper on the Inferno?”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Um… is he sure it’s supposed to be Dan Brown’s Inferno, and not DANTE’S Inferno?”

Coworker: “OH, MY GOD! That makes a lot more sense! I don’t know…”

(Nobody before or since has ever requested Dan Brown’s Inferno for summer reading.)

Taking A Hardline On The Hardback

| VA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids

(A lady approaches the counter with several items.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “Doing fine, thanks”

Me: “So you found everything okay?”

(Ignoring my question she looks at who appears to be her mother and says.)

Customer: *to mom* “I am not buying that blanket. If you want it you can buy it.”

Customer’s Mom: “Okay. That’s fine, I guess.”

(As I finish ringing up everything else I get to the books and notice they are hardbacks which are $3 so I ring them up accordingly.)

Customer: *noticing price of books* “Wait, the sign says children’s books are 50c.”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry; let me fix that for you.”

(I pull the books back out and double check what kind of books they are.)

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately these are not children’s books. They are hardbacks and are $3.”

Customer: *visibly getting angry* “They were in the children’s section, so they are 50c.”

(At this point a line is forming.)

Me: “I can double check with the manager if you would like, but these books are moved around frequently in that section.”

(I walk over to the manager with the books and tell her the situation.)

Me: “The customer is saying these two ‘Adult’ Books are for her child and therefore 50c.”

Manager: *seeing the mostly nude woman on the front in a seductive outfit* “This is a thrift store. Just because she “found” those books in the children’s section doesn’t make them so. If she really fusses about it say you can give them to her for the paperback price but certainly these should not be for a child.”

(I walk back over to the customer.)

Me: “The manager said these are indeed not children’s books.”

(As the customer is about to reach mental break down status.)

Me: “But I can give them to you for paperback price if that would help this one time.”

Customer: “Fine! I can’t believe you act this way.”

(After she leaves the customers behind her ask what happened and complimented me on handling the situation nicely and I tell her what happened.)

New Customer: *jokingly and laughing* “Yeah! And I found this jeans in the t-shirt section. Can I have them for a dollar? …Who gives their child Fifty Shades Of Grey?!”