Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

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Found The Book But Lost The Irony

| AR, USA | Books & Reading

(I work at my local library as a library assistant.)

Patron: “I accidentally turned in a book that belongs to [Other Library].”

Me: “Sure, what’s the book title?”

Patron:I Am Responsible.”

Me: *staring a patron in complete silence*

(I find the book, and the great irony is that it’s a child’s book.)

Me: “…Have a good day, ma’am.”

Patron: “Thanks. You, too.”

A Gross Misunderstanding Of The Books

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

Customer: “I’m looking for a book for my grandchildren. I don’t know the title but I know it’s some kind of encyclopedia of gross things and the cover has a picture of a kid picking his nose.”

Me: “Yes, I know that book. It’s called Oh, Yuck. Here’s a copy for you.”

Customer: “Do you think that would be embarrassing for me to send it to my grandchildren? I mean, it’s gross. Do you really think it would be appropriate?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. I thought you already knew it was gross based on your description of the book.”

Customer: *sets book down* “I just don’t think it would be appropriate. Can you show me some storybooks?”

(I take the customer to the storybooks and she keeps asking for recommendations, so I show her book after book and she rejects them. Finally, she makes a suggestion.)

Customer: “Well, I’ve heard of this one book. Do you have ‘Walter the Farting Dog’?”

Me: ” Yes, it’s popular. Right here.”

Customer: “But wouldn’t that be kind of gross? I don’t know if that’s appropriate. A farting dog? That might be embarrassing for me to send to my grandchildren.”

Me: “…I don’t know how to help you if you keep asking me for gross books and then saying they’re too gross, ma’am.”

Customer: “I just heard those were popular. But I can’t send that. It’s too gross. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?”

(I end up just leaving her to browse in the storybooks section.)

Ordering Books Not By The Book(store)

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Popular

(I work as customer service for an online bookstore that also has a physical store.)

Caller: “Hi, what’s your website? I want to buy books.”

Me: “I’ll spell it for you. It’s [Site].”

Caller: “Could you repeat that? I need to write it down so I can take it to [Cell Phone Provider] and ask them to order for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I must’ve heard wrongly. I thought you said [Cell Phone Provider].”

Caller: “That’s what I said!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think they provide those services.”

Caller: “Oh, I know. But I’m a paying customer and an old lady. I’ll just make a fuss until they help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can help you order over the phone right now. I also see by your area code that you live near the store. You can come in to our store instead for help.”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. It’s okay; they’ll help me. What was the site?”

Me: “Well, it’s [Site], but you aren’t bothering me. This is actually my job, so I can help you.”

Caller: “Nonsense, you sound like a busy girl. Thanks!” *hangs up*