Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

icon_ruderisque

Reading Between The Coloring Lines

| Canada | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(Adult colouring books are a huge deal at my store, with two drive-aisles dedicated to the stuff. I am working the floor when a young man in his mid-twenties comes in with a girl who could be his girlfriend, sister, or friend. He kind of has a frat-boy look about him, and the girl is dressed semi-professionally. They come up to me, the girl with an amused expression and the guy really excited.)

Male Customer: “So, you guys sell adult coloring books, right?”

Me: “Yeah, we do, right over here.”

Male Customer: *just slightly lowers his voice, kind of stage whisper style* “So, you have, like, those [East] Indian type colouring books?”

Female Customer: *starts blushing a bit*

Me: “Oh, yeah, we have Mandala and Paisley themed colouring books. Some kind of look like henna designs, as well.”

Male Customer: “No, I mean, like, the sex book. The Kama Sutra, except for colouring in.”

Female Customer: *starts laughing a bit because she knows how ridiculous that sounds*

Me: “Uh, no, sir, we don’t. We have kids’ crafts in here so we don’t have anything more explicit like that. Maybe try [Bookstore that also sells colouring books as well as having a more “adult” section]?”

Male Customer: “Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. I get it!”

Female Customer: *keeps laughing*

(A bit later, I am on backup for cashiering, as it is busy. The couple come up, and the male customer has five books and a giant set of pencil crayons.)

Me: “Yeah, these adult colouring books are quite popular.”

Male Customer: “Yeah, I love them! It’s great for when I’m smoking pot but also wanting to do something with my hands, you know?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, I bet! They’re super relaxing!”

Female Customer: *laughing but is also getting a bit embarrassed*

(Everything went smoothly and the couple left, the guy super stoked for his colouring books, the girl half hiding her face. The lady behind them came up, and we both looked at each other in amusement. We’re in British Columbia, so pot is definitely a thing here, but never so public as that!)

icon_religion

Has Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 3

| Bilbao, Spain | Books & Reading, Religion

(My wife and I are the clients in a bookstore specialized in books related to Catholicism, looking for a gift for her mother.)

Clerk: “May I help you?”

Wife: “Yeah, we want a book.”

(The clerk looks at her in silence, waiting for something else.)

Me: “Honey, all they sell are books.”

Wife: *embarrassed* “Oh, sorry, you’re right! We’re looking for books about Christian things.”

(The clerk and I both look at her in silence.)

Wife: *more embarrassed* “Uhm… something about the new pope.”

Clerk: “Certainly, ma’am, we have an entire section.”

Me: “Thank god!”

Related:

Has Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 2

Has Faith But Lost All Pope

icon_booksreading

A-Maze-ing Lack Of Sense

| San Rafael, CA, USA | Books & Reading

(As part of my job as bookseller, I occasionally grab misplaced books out of a “To Be Shelved” box and re-shelve them. One night, a coworker and I start going through the box.)

Me: *picks up a book* “Ah, The Maze Runner.”

Coworker: “Yep. Guy brought it back because he didn’t know it was a young adult novel.”

Me: “Huh…”

Coworker: “And he got it from the young adult section.”

(At this, I stammer and even accidentally drop the book, which my coworker finds appropriate and hilarious.)

Me: “So let me get this straight. A guy walks into the kids’ section that’s clearly marked.”

Coworker: “Yep.”

Me: “Then walks over to the teenage book section, also clearly marked.”

Coworker: “Yep.”

Me: “Picks up this book from the teenage section, and doesn’t realize it’s for teenagers.”

Coworker: “That’s the gist of it.”

Me: “Right… One second.”

(I pick up the book and smack it directly against the center of my forehead out of exasperation.)

Me: “Okay, I’m good.”