Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

Should Have Looked In The Phone/Book

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a large chain book retailer. We sell product online as well as in our stores.)

Customer: “Where is your customer service desk?”

Me: “The cash desk? It’s just behind you.”

Customer: “No, your customer service desk. I need to order a book.”

Me: “We don’t have a customer service desk, but I can help you find a book or order one if we don’t have it in stock. I will just take you over to one of our customer use computers.”

(I lead him over to one of the many computers on the sales floor.)

Customer: “Oh, you just order off [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No, sir, our online orders are though [Company Website].”

Customer: “Not [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Are you sure it’s not through [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No, sir. [Large Online Competitor] is our competitor and not affiliated with us.”

Customer: “Oh, so, do you sell electronics?”

Me: “Yes, we sell a few small electronics such as e-readers.”

Customer: “Do you sell cell phones?”

Me: “No, we do not.”

Customer: “Not even on your website?”

Me: “No, sir. Just e-readers.”

Customer: “But how do you know for sure?”

Me: “Sir, we are a book retailer. I can guarantee we do not sell cell phones.”

Customer: “Oh, so you’re not [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No. This is [Company].”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I guess I’ll go home and order from [Large Online Competitor].”

Has No Sense And Sensibility

| CA, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “Do you have any more books written by Jane Eyre?”

Coworker: “Oh, you mean Charlotte Bronte, who wrote the book Jane Eyre.”

Customer: “Oh! She’s the one who wrote Pride and Prejudice, too, right?”

Coworker: “…”

Going On A Mission To The Mission District

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Geography, Language & Words, Religion

(Being in San Francisco, our store sometimes gets tourists, seeing as it’s local and family-run rather than a big chain. It’s a very slow day, and a couple walks in, identifiable as tourists from their southern accent.)

Customer: *walks up to me and begins speaking in Spanish, with a VERY heavy Anglophone accent*

Me: “Uhm… You can speak English if you’d like, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh!” *seems pleasantly surprised* “I was just wondering, do you have any local Bibles?”

Me: “I could show you to our religious section, if you’d like?”

Customer: “No, no, I want a LOCAL Bible. I think the word is similar in Spanish. Your English is very good, by the way.”

Me: *somewhat confused* “Okay, I’ll show you a few from our selection.”

(I leave from behind the counter and take three different versions of the Bible from the shelf, and then come back to the lady.)

Me: *lays Bibles on the table* “Any of these?”

Customer: “No, no, I said LOCAL Bibles. These are in English.” *says something Spanish again*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. English is my native language. And I don’t know what you mean by ‘local’ Bibles.”

Customer: *getting upset* “You live in San Francisco; of course you speak Spanish. You don’t have any local Bibles?”

Me: *giving up on arguing with her* “Do you mean a Spanish-language Bible?”

Customer: “No, I mean a LOCAL Bible. We need it for our mission trip.”

(I leave the counter again and this time get a Spanish Bible, which I bring to her.)

Me: “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Customer: “YES! Finally. Gracias.”

(The rest of the transaction went normally, and she left with her husband.)

Reading The Situation Incorrectly

| NJ, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I’m a supervisor at a well-known theme park. I am working the front gate where we open our gates 10 minutes earlier for anyone with a season pass. A guest walks up to me right when the day ticket line has let in their first guests).

Customer: “I don’t think it’s fair that those lines got in 10 minutes early just because I was in the line for regular tickets. I don’t have season passes but we all spent money to get in. You should’ve opened them all at the same time!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way but we do advertise the early entry time as one of the perks of buying a season pass, so it wouldn’t be fair to all the pass holders in those lines if we did that.”

Customer: “Then you should’ve told us that!”

Me: “Well, the way we differentiate the lines is by the signs for day tickets or for season passes.”

Customer: “The signs are useless! Who reads anymore!? I read while I’m driving and that’s it! I don’t need to be reading when I’m walking or any other time!”

Me: “I do apologize you feel that way but unfortunately that’s our method here, due to the large volume of people we can get.”

(Then they walked off… with kids in tow.)

The Specific Lengths People Will Go To For Books

| Germany | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Home Improvement

(I overhear this exchange at my local bookstore:)

Customer: “I would like one metre of books, please.”

Saleslady: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I just got a new wall unit for my living room and it has a one metre shelf for books, so I would like to buy enough books to fill it.”

Saleslady: “No problem. What kind of books would you like?”

Customer: “Blue ones.”

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