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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

In Praise Of Your Baggage

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work in a soap company based out of Canada, and business is usually very slow. I don’t get a lot of sleep, so I have bags under my eyes. A female, middle-aged customer walks in.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]!”

Customer: “Are you wearing eyeliner?”

Me: “No, I’m not. Why do you ask?”

Customer: “It’s just unusual to see men with eyes like yours. Are you sure you don’t wear eyeliner?”

Me: “No, I’m sure those are just bags under my eyes.”

Customer: “Oh… well, they look great!”

Me: “Thank you?”

The Times, They Are a’Changin’

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Me: “Your total is $4.24.”

Customer: *hands me a twenty*

Me: “Here’s your change.” *hands back $15.76* “Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “… Didn’t I give you a five?”

Me: “I don’t think so…”

(Customer checks her pocket and pulls out the five she meant to give me.)

Me: “Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?”

A Bad Case Of Adamantium Confusion

| Newcastle upon Tyne, England, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(My coworker goes to see a 94-year-old patient who had been confused overnight.)

Coworker: “Good morning, Mr. [Patient]. How are you today?”

Patient: *in a very measured voice* “Terrible, doctor. The professor saw me earlier and implicitly told me I am a wolverine. I’m afraid with this news I need to leave.”

Coworker: “I see. You’ve been a bit poorly so should probably stay in hospital for now.”

Patient: “Oh, but doctor, if you can guarantee I am NOT a wolverine, I’d feel ever so relieved.”

Coworker: *poker faced* “I can guarantee you are NOT a wolverine.”