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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Shot Yourself In The Foot

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you not sell kangaroo meat anymore?”

Me: “It should be over this way; however, it may have moved somewhere else.”

(As I take the customer to where I’m pretty sure the kangaroo meat is kept, he continues talking.)

Customer: “It must be because they’ve stopped the shooting. No one knows how to shoot anymore, so there’s no one to shoot the kangaroos! That’s why you don’t have any! People these days, they don’t know how to shoot!”

(At this point we reach the right section, and sure enough, the fridge is packed with various brands of kangaroo meat.)

Me: “Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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Missing A Few Brain Cells… And A Husband

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners

(I work in the fraud detection department for a major credit union. My job involves making outbound calls to customers to verify out of pattern transactions that have generally already been confirmed to be fraud by our system and closing the card once the customer has been contacted.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] with [Credit Union]. May I please speak with Mr. [Customer]?”

Wife: “He’s my husband; he’s not here right now. Do you want to leave a message?”

(I see the wife isn’t on the account so legally I cannot give her any information.)

Me: “We just need to verify some information with him. Can you ask him to give us a call back?”

Wife: “Well, I don’t know. Have you seen him recently?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Wife: “He hasn’t been home in two months. I think he might be dead. Have you seen him?”

Me: “Um… have you called the police yet?”

Wife: “No, do you think I should?”

Me: “Yes, I do!”

Wife: “Okay, I’ll do that. Bye bye.”

(I then sat in stunned silence for a few minutes.)

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Has Something Else In Store

| Glens Falls, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer approaches at the checkout.)

Me: “Hi, you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you have a store card?”

Customer: “Yes…” *stops, looking up and around, seeming very bewildered* “What store is this? This isn’t [Store], is it?”

Me: “Yes, this is [Store.]”

Customer: “Huh… I could have sworn this was [Competitor Store]. I’m going to go there. Things are cheaper there.”

Me: “Okay, then… Have a nice day.”

(I’m still not sure how she missed the giant red signs on the main building and the driveway.)

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Unable To Register With Some Customers

| ID, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

My first day on the job, it is our grand opening. I had even helped build the store. I am standing at the register waiting for customers to arrive. For a grand opening it’s pretty slow.)

Trainer: “Okay, so the goal is to get people registered in our system, so always ask for a name, email, and phone number. It also helps them get the sales price on items. You may override the system but only in special circumstances.”

(A grumpy looking elderly man walks up to register. I already didn’t want to ask but I do because the trainer is there.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess so.”

Me: “Do you have a savings card with us yet?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well, would you like to get enrolled to get the sales price?”

Customer: “So, I won’t get the sales price without it?”

Me: “No. It doesn’t take very long. It’s just a phone number, and your name and email are optional.”

Customer: “I don’t want to give my information out; do you know where all this information goes?”

Me: “Uhm… no.” *thinking maybe he is worried about theft*

Customer: “The government. They use our numbers and emails in your system to monitor and track us down.”

(At this the point the trainer is very concerned and is still trying to convince the man to sign up.)

Trainer: “Sir, I assure you, we don’t give your information out to anyone.”

Customer: “YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, BUT IT’S TRUE! THEY HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME AND THEY’RE WAITING IN A WHITE VAN TO GRAB ME!”

Trainer: *looks at me and sighs* “Just go ahead and override it.”

(This was my very FIRST customer.)

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Fire Doesn’t Work

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Holidays

(It is the 4th of July and we close at 10 pm. A regular couple has been sitting in the lobby eating for 30 minutes after close. All the employees have been listening to the fireworks explode right over our heads, as the show is just down the block.)

Customers: *gets up to leave, sees a firework* “Oh, is that what those sounds are?”

Me: “…”

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