Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!


A Suction Reduction

| Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Bizarre

(I am a 17-year-old girl. I’ve only been working here for a few weeks, so I’m still not sure about everything we stock and where every item is. A couple in their thirties comes up to me, looking a bit nervous.)

Man: “Do you… uh, have any little suction balls?”

Me: “Um, suction balls?”

Man: “Yeah, you know…” *he mines squeezing something like a turkey baster*

Me: “Oh! I think I know what you mean. We have suction things for cleaning babies’ noses. Is that what you want?”

(The couple exchange looks and start to giggle.)

Wife: “Well, that’s not what we’re going to use it for…”

(I turn around quickly before they can see how red my face has become. I show them what they are looking for, and after they leave I relay the story to my manager.)

Manager: “Yeah, if you’re going to work here during the evening shift you’re going to have to stop asking questions.”


Whatever Ice-Cream Floats Your Boat

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the customer in this one. My siblings, my boyfriend and I go to a fast food joint late at night. Everyone wants ice cream floats! We get to the cashier, everyone orders what they want and now it’s my turn…)

Cashier: “And what kind of pop would you like?”

(I thought all floats were default root beer and vanilla ice cream, so when she asks, my brain is just like NOPE and flat-lines. I don’t know what happened but I just kinda… forgot I was getting a root beer float because the question broke my brain.)

Me: “Uh… Coke?”

Cashier: *looks at me* “… and type of ice cream?”

Me: “Chocolate.”

(My siblings are like, what is wrong with you? I went beet red from embarrassment and everyone, including the cashier, was laughing. I shrug it off and said I was doing it on purpose. It wasn’t awful… but I really wished it was root beer and vanilla. I was totally not drinking or high, but probably made that girl’s night!)


When I Went Down To The Inflatable Pool To Pray…

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre, Religion

(I am a lifeguard at the beach. For the summer, my bosses install a big inflatable circuit where people try to go through without falling. Of course, all the water around it is reserved for the activity; people need to go further to swim in the lake. During the day, a man all dressed in black is entering the restricted water zone. He’s followed by many women, all dressed in white. They start to sing hymns and pray.)

Me: *on the walkie talkie* “Erm… inflatable lifeguard one to manager.”

Manager: *on the walkie talkie* “Manager tuned.”

Me: *trying really hard to speak, I’m laughing so much* “There… is… a… bap… baptising …in the water…”

Manager: “What? Can you repeat?”

Me: “There is a BAPTISING in the inflatable water.”

Manager: “…”

Me: “They are singing and praying. The preacher is baptising every woman, one by one.”

Manager: “I’m… I’m coming…”

(I see all other lifeguards looking and laughing from their chair. Finally, the manager comes after ten minutes. He just leans on the “Denied Access” notice and looks at them, dumbfounded. They finally leave the water, but not before another woman comes up to me, angry.)

Woman: “Soooo, we can baptise in the beach, now?!”


Don’t Baby-Talk Me

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

(Working in a hospital’s restaurant, I get asked where a lot of things are, most of the time where ER and the main doors are. The creepiest thing I’ve been asked is:)

Visitor: “So, where are the babies?”


Children Of The Corn Sandwich

| USA | Bizarre

(I’m working at a coffee shop in a larger department store. We have a problem customer who comes in multiple time a day on weekends. He’s not aggressive, but he’s usually high.)

Customer: “How much are those sandwiches?”

Me: “Most of our sandwiches are $6.84.”

Customer: “I don’t want anyone to know. Those kids, they know I’m buying sandwiches. They always know.”

(There are no children present.)

Me: *getting confused* “We put the sandwich in a bag.”

Customer: “No, the kids always know. They’re very smart. What if I get a gift card? Then they won’t know! Give me a gift card for the sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $6.84. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Are you sure they won’t know? I don’t want the kids to know about my sandwich.”

Me: “Uh, no, I don’t think they’ll know about it.”

(He bought a gift card for the exact price of the sandwich, and then used it to pay for his sandwich, all while going on about “the kids always know.”)

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “Weed. That was about weed.”

Page 9/248First...7891011...Last