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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Only Six-And-A-Half Inches From Crazytown

| AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a popular store, and it’s during the Christmas rush. I see an older gentleman looking around in the pants section.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you? Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Actually. I’m looking for a pair of jeans.”

Me: “Well you have come to the right place! We have lots of jeans in a wide range of colors. And if we don’t have what you need, we can order it!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really care about the color. But I need them to have a good zipper.”

Me: “Okay, well our zippers are made to top quality standards. We have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, so if it does break, you can bring it back.”

Customer: “Well, I need the zipper to be exactly 6 1/2  inches long. Any longer or shorter, they just won’t do.

(Seeing as this is kind of unusual, and our jeans don’t come with the zipper length mentioned on either the tag or anywhere else, I am unsure what to say.)

Me: “…Um, okay. Well, I can go and grab a measuring tape if you would like.”

Customer: “Would you? Because I have looked everywhere and no one seems to carry them.”

(A minute later I return with the measuring tape and we start measuring zipper lengths. But all of them are either too short or too long for his liking.)

Customer: “Well, at least we can order them in.”

Me: “We can order the same jeans we have here, but the zipper lengths won’t change.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you people just leave a note saying that it’s very important that I have a 6 1/2 inch zipper?”

Me: “I could, but seeing as it’s the busiest season of the year, they may not be able to check all the zippers to find you one that suits your needs. And seeing as we don’t have a 6 1/2 inch zipper here, I doubt they will either.”

Customer: “So basically you lied to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry we didn’t have what you were looking for, but you are looking for something very exact.”

Customer: “So you are saying this is my fault that you b****** don’t have what I am looking for?!”

Me: “Once again I’m—”

Customer: “No! Save it for all the other people you aren’t going to help. You can expect to hear from me in the future!”

(He yells as he storms out of the store. We never did hear from that customer. Maybe he just learned to zip his mouth.)

WTF Is OFD?

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at an ice cream/grill chain store in a small town. I’m training in a new cashier when one of our regulars comes in.)

Regular: “I want my usual.”

Trainee: “I’m sorry?”

Regular: “My usual. You know, with the OFD.”

Trainee: “The what?”

(He repeats the request a couple more times, getting ruder. I decide to intervene and introduce the trainee to our customer.)

Regular: “Oh! You mean you aren’t [Another Coworker]? I want the chicken basket with the OFD.”

(We have half a dozen combos that that could describe, so I ring the order in over the trainee’s shoulder. The customer gets the senior discount and sits in his usual spot without taking a number.)

Trainee: “What’s an OFD?”

Me: “Old fart’s discount.”

Service With Surgical Precision

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as technical support at a large company that sells technology into multiple markets. I am following up on a voicemail left by a potential customer. From the voicemail, I know he’s looking for a specific medical product from the company’s medical division. I also know that the rights to the specific product had been sold to another company a few years ago. I dial the number he left me so that I can give him the other company’s contact information.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from technical support at [My Company]. I’m calling to follow up with a voicemail you left with us earlier today.”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I’m so glad you got back to me!”

Me: “As it turns out, [product he is interested in] is one of the products that [My Company] sold to [Other Company] a few years ago. Would you like to take down their phone number?”

Customer: “Well, actually, I can’t right now. I’m in surgery. It’s what I do for a living. But I’m sure I’ll be able to look up [Other Company]’s phone number if I search on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, well, I hope you have a good day and that everything turns out well.”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, yes, we’re just closing up the chest now. Thanks again for calling me back!”