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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Tipped To Be Persistent

, | Moberly, MO, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I work as a janitor.)

Me: *sweeping floors before finding a lady looking lost* “Do you need help finding something?”

Lady: “Oh, sure-gel for…” *looks at me holding a broom* “Oh, don’t mind me, sweetie. I’ll find it.”

Me: “For canning? You sure? I can take you to it.”

Lady: “But you’re sweeping. I don’t want to interrupt.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s on the other side of the store. Let me show you.”

Lady: “All right…”

(Cue criss-crossing the store as I help her find several hard to locate items.)

Lady: “I think that’s it. You’ve been so helpful. Here…” *tries to hand me a $5 bill*

Me: *holds my hands up palm forward* “No can do, ma’am. Can’t accept tips.”

Lady: “Nonsense, you’ve helped me more than anyone who’s actually supposed to!”

(She tries to dive to my pockets to slide money in.)

Me: *slams hands on top of the pockets before she gets there, backpedalling* “Nope! You have a nice day!”

(Thirty minutes later I’m collecting trash from the bins. The lady is trying to sneak up on me, hand reaching for my pocket with money in it. I barely spot her in time, turning and stuffing my hands in my pocket.)

Me: “Still no can do. I appreciate the offer, though.”

Lady: “Oh, shut up.” *smiling, she grabs my collar, pulls my shirt open and stuffs the bill down the front of my shirt*

Lady: “Tell your bosses where they can shove that tip if they don’t like it!”

Me: *stunned silence*

(Upon telling my boss, he laughs and shrugs.)

Boss: “You can either donate it to CMN, or forget you told me about it. Wasn’t anything you could do about it.”

Not Their Brightest Outdoor Light-Bulb Moment

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Home Improvement

Me: “[Company] Lighting, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, do you carry outdoor lighting?”

Me: “Yes, we sure do! Were you looking for a specific kind?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve dialed the wrong number.” *click*

Me: “But…”

Probably Praying For Nicer Customers

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I just clocked out for lunch, and am on my way out of the building when this exchange occurs.)

Customer: “Hi. I think you may want to call security. There’s a really weird guy outside towards the other side of the building.”

Me: “I’ll notify someone right away.” *I notify security after looking, but hear nothing of what happened*

(It turned out one of my coworkers was outside praying.)

The Refund Is The Icing On The Cake

| MS, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(It’s the last Friday before Christmas and I have just made the final closing announcements.  A woman and her granddaughter walk in with one minute on the clock to do a return.)

Customer: *reading from receipt* “If you are dissatisfied with your purchase please return the item with this receipt for a refund.”

(I look in the box, and immediately call for a manager. The contents? An open bag of modeling clay and a brand name cake decorating icing tip.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I’ll need a manager to approve this return.”

Customer: *repeats previous statement several times*

Me: *smiles awkwardly*

(When my manager finally arrives, she is as shocked as I am, and hesitant to do the return.)

Customer: *raises voice* “I demand a full refund! The clay wouldn’t pipe like icing!”

Me: *reciting from back of receipt* “We reserve the right to research and refuse any return.”

Customer: “Why would you refuse it!?! I’m not happy with it so you have to return it.”

Me: “You mixed modeling clay with a cake decorating tip!”

Customer: “So?!”

Manager: “I’ll return the clay, but not the tip. You don’t have the original packing for it anyway.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Fine!! But I want your corporate number!”

(Not the weirdest return I’ve been forced to do, but probably the most insulting.)

Makes You Wish You Could Crawl Into A Sleeping Bag And Die

| Cambridge, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m working a full day in a well-known camping shop. Due to thefts, we always have to have at least one staff member on the ground floor at all times. My manager has just called me down so she can go down to the footwear department and deal with a return. I’m alone on the shop floor, when a man comes down the stairs, looking irritated.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young lady, but NONE of your sleeping bags have any kind of information or prices on them!”

Me: “Oh, yes, I am sorry, sir. The new display tags came in today, and the prices are act—”

Customer: “I don’t want your excuses! I want you to fix it!”

Me: “I can’t currently leave this floor, sir, but the tags that headquarters sent us are actually wrong, so we can’t put them on the display.”

Customer: “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “If you tell me what you were interested in, I can look on the system and give you more information about it?”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t want to BUY one! Just fix it!”

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