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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Wish You Could Have Recorded It

| NJ, USA | Bizarre

(Whenever someone leaves the store, I have to wish them a good day. I usually do this just as they get to the entryway, since it’s closest to my counter and I don’t have to shout that way. I see a gentleman customer leaving the store, so I call out:)

Me: “Have a good day!”

(The customer jumps, looks up all around at the top of the entryway for a minute, and then leaves, leaving me a little annoyed for being ignored. He returns a few minutes later, to talk with a another customer. They both turn and start to leave; they get to the entryway and I call out :)

Me: “Have a good day!”

(The customer jumps (again), but this time looks around him, and sees me.)

Customer: “Wait, that’s YOU saying that?!”

Me: “Oh, uh, yeah. I tell every customer to ‘have a good day’ as they leave.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realize you were saying it; I thought it was a recording!”

Me: “Haha, no, sir, it’s just me. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “You, too!”

(I have no idea where the customer has ever encountered a store where a disembodied voice wished him a good day upon leaving, but it must be nice!)

You Have A Hot Voice

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m at the register on a slow day. A customer comes to the counter with a couple of boxes of Hot Pockets.)

Me: *scanning the boxes and singing the jingle*Hot Pock-ets!”

Customer: *deadpan* “That was beautiful… I hope that’s not weird to say.”

Me: “Not at all! Thank you!”

(Made my day!)

All Wrapped Up In Sexual Orientation

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre

Customer: “Can you wrap that?”

Me: “Sure. Is it for a man or a woman?”

Customer: “A man.” *pause and then rather frantically* “Oh, but he’s gay! Does that make any difference to how you wrap it?!”

Return The Clock On The Clock

, | Canada | Bizarre

(I work at an engraving kiosk in a mall. Most of our products are engraved and not returnable.)

Customer: “What’s your return policy?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m not completely sure, but it’s stated on this sign right here.” *points to sign right in front of her*

Customer: “You don’t know your return policy? Do you even work here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I assure you I work here.”

Customer: “What does this mean, that engraved items can’t be returned? Why?”

Me: “…Once an item has been engraved with something like, ‘Love, Jim,’ it’s highly unlikely that anyone else would want that particular message.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ll buy this clock.”

Me: “Would you like anything engraved in it?”

Customer: “No.”

(Half an hour later, she was back to return the clock. I figure a. she was lonely and needed an object to accompany her through the mall, and b. she had a burning desire to test our return policy!)

Give The Description The Boot

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I work for an online retailer but we have over a hundred stores across the nation. I work in the call center portion.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Retail]. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “I have a quick question about your [Brand of shoes we carry]. Do they come as a set? Because it says ‘boot’ on the website and I don’t want to spend $210 on one boot.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are sold as a set.”

Customer: “Great! Tell your supervisor to fix it online.” *click*

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