Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

A Significantly Delayed Light-Bulb Moment

| MO, USA | Bizarre

(Due to new government regulations, a number of light bulbs have been discontinued. We still sell them but will not get more in stock once the ones we have are gone. Because of this, a number of people have been buying them in large numbers. A customer approaches my register with his arms full of them.)

Me: “Oh, stocking up, eh?”

Customer: “Everyone is going to get mercury poisoning from CFL bulbs. And LED bulbs don’t work.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know, I have LED bulbs in my house, and they work fine—”

Customer: “Global warming is a farce!”

Me: “Um… what?”

Customer: “We are seventeen years into an ice age! Soon people will be wishing they had these light bulbs to heat their houses!”

Me: “Oh… okay… Well, you have a good day, sir.”

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 8

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(An elderly woman has asked me to grab a large bag of dog food off the floor for her. As I am walking over to retrieve it, this conversation happens.)

Elderly Woman: “Oh, no, dear, I didn’t mean you grab it. Just get one of the nice young men to grab it for me.”

Me: “It’s no problem at all, ma’am! I assure you I lift these bags all the time!”

Elderly Woman: “Oh. you shouldn’t do that! What about the baby?!”

Me: “Oh! Oh, no, I am sorry for the confusion. I’m not pregnant, ma’am.”

Elderly Woman: “But someday you could be! You don’t want to risk it!”

Me: “I assure you, if I am ever pregnant, I won’t lift anything. For the mean time I am perfectly capable of lifting the bag for you. I promise.”

(I lifted the bag and brought it to the register, rang her out, and then carried it to her car. As I was walking away I heard her shouting ‘you make sure you take care of that baby!’ Now, whenever I go to lift anything, my coworkers tell me to make sure ‘not to hurt the baby!’)

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

Acting Bright At The End Of The World

| Norway | Bizarre

(It’s a few weeks before Christmas and I am helping a customer carry a very heavy floor lamp out to her car. It’s been raining most of December, instead of snowing, which is unusual in Norway.)

Customer: *in a sing-song voice* “Oh, I just love the rain!”

Me: *smiling* “Yeah? I kind of prefer snow this time of year myself.”

Customer:  *looking both happy and serious* “Oh no, snow messes up the view! The world is going under, it’s ending, and it is important that the view is clear so everyone can see it go down!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Here’s my car. Thanks for the help! Bye!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(I was left wondering why she needed the lamp when the world was ending anyway. Maybe to see it happen more clearly?)

If You Put Your Mind To It

| Switzerland | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I work part time in a store that sells sweets and little toys. A man in his mid-twenties walks in.)

Customer: “I’d like to buy this. How much would that be?” *points at an item*

Me: “That would be [Price].”

Customer: “So. I’m thinking about [Price] right now. I take it out of my mental savings account and mentally transfer it to you. How about that?”

Me: *puzzled* “Uhm…”

Customer: “Did you get it?”

Me: “Uhm… No, I didn’t get it. I work with real money here.”

Customer: “But I want to buy it with my mental money! Can’t I buy it like this? I’m imagining it really, really hard right now! I WANT THIS!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t help you with that.”

Customer: “Well, at least I tried.”

That Old Adage About Old Age

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

(My department for the local county council takes service requests from residents of the area for all sorts of things:)

Me: “Bore da. Good morning. This is [Local Council].”

Caller: *shouting* “I’M OLD!”

Me: “Okay, sir, it happens to all of us eventually. Now, how can I help?”


Me: “I’m sorry to hear you have those things, sir. Now, please tell me how I can help you this morning.”


Me: “I listened to everything you’ve said, sir. You’re elderly and you suffer from arthritis and sciatica and bunions. Now, these things understandably cause you pain and would have meant you needed help with something. If you can remember what that ‘something’ was and recall why you might have phoned me up, I can try and help you.”

Customer: “I NEED YOU TO… Oh. I can’t remember. If you remember can you call me?” *click*

Me: *to thin air* “Uh… not without your phone number, I can’t.”

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