Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

The Butterfly Defect

| UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I’m answering the phone at a small zoo; mostly, this is people asking for directions or prices, but we get the odd… interesting call.)

Caller: “Hello, there’s a large moth in my garage. Could someone come and get it, please?”

Me: “A moth? We do have a butterfly hall. Do you mean you’re local and you think it’s one of ours that’s escaped?”

Caller: “I don’t know! I live in [Town 20 miles away], and there’s just this big, brightly coloured moth in my garage, and now I can’t go in there! I hate moths!”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid we’re not actually an animal rescue, and that really is a bit of a trip. It’s definitely not one of our butterflies that far away.”

Caller: “Can’t you help anyway? I’m freaking out here!”

Me: “Umm, it’s possible if it’s a big, bright species that it may be rare, and one of our staff may be willing to go and catch it for you after work, as he’s a keen photographer with an interest in moths. If you want, I’ll ask him. What colour is it?”

(The line goes silent for a moment.)

Caller: “Beige?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we really can’t help. Maybe you can ask a neighbour to let it out?”

Confusing With A Side Of Confusion

| Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m manning the phones, taking room service orders. It’s after midnight and, as usual, many of our guests have over-indulged. I take a call from a lady who orders a toasted bagel with cream cheese. It’s a $4 item.)

Me: “That’s one toasted bagel. Would you like anything else?”

Guest: “Yes, I’d like a second bagel with that order.”

Me: “Okay, so two bagels. Will that be all for you?”

Guest: “Well, I want a second bagel, but I don’t want it to be a double order. Just put an extra bagel with the first bagel.”

Me: “Okay, then we would charge you for two bagels.”

Guest: “No, I’m not ordering two bagels. I’m ordering a toasted bagel with cream cheese. I don’t want a double order of bagels. Just put another plain bagel alongside my toasted bagel.”

Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

(I submit the order to the kitchen as a toasted bagel for $4, and a second bagel with no cream cheese for $2. The kitchen advises that each bagel is $4 and the cream cheese is included at no charge, so that’s how the order is delivered. We never hear back from the guest, so she apparently accepts the order. When I relate this request to my associates, they are quite amused and expand the concept to their own liking:)

Coworker #1: “Please give me a beer, and a beer on the side. But I’m only ordering one beer.”

Coworker #2: “Yes, I’d like a hamburger, with a side of hamburger.”

(We’re still puzzled what the lady’s thought process might have been, but it was clearly alcohol induced.)

It’s Time To Throw In The Towel

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I’m the stupid customer here. I’m looking for a long carpet for my hallway when I spot something that looks perfect but it’s too short. I find an employee and ask for help.)

Me: “Do you sell something like this but 12-15 ft. long?”

Employee: “That’s very big, sir. Why would you need something like that?”

Me: “It’s for my hallway.”

Employee: “I don’t think we have anything like that in the size you’re looking for.”

Me: “Are you sure? I saw longer rugs in here last week.”

Employee: “Uh… sir, that’s a towel.”

Has Some Serious Bag Baggage

| IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work in a fairly high-end department store in the handbag department. Recently we’ve started contracting with a secondhand vendor to sell either retired display models or used and refurbished handbags from an haute couture French designer — an average price range $1000 for a bag. While some of the bags are actually used, some were only on display in the store or carried by a model in a fashion show, which in the designer’s eyes is enough to be “used,” but for the average person is no big deal. People get very excited about the bags and we sell a lot of them.)

Customer: “Can I see this bag?”

Me: “Of course!” *pulls bag out of case* “These bags are from [Secondhand Vendor], so they’re all either retired display models or used and refurbished.”

(I may as well have said, based on the horror with which this woman reacted: “These bags are made out of human skin by Satan himself.”)

Customer: *literally DROPS bag as if it burned her, lets out horrified gasp* “They’re USED? I don’t want a USED handbag!” *literally RUNS several feet away before turning around, waving, and saying* “Thank you!”

(If she hadn’t run off, I could’ve told her that based on its condition, the bag she was looking at had in fact likely never been used more than sitting on display in a store, but oh well. I’m sure we’ll sell it to someone who’s excited to be able to buy a bag at a lower retail price when they’re otherwise unavailable in our state!)

Flurries Of Furries

| ME, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV

(I am working by myself at the box office out in front of the theater when an individual walks in wearing a full wolf costume, head and all.)

Wolf-Man: “Yes, one adult to ‘Zootopia,’ please.”

(However, posted very clearly next to me is a sign saying that we cannot sell tickets to those wearing anything obstructing an individual’s face or any sort of prop weaponry.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but unfortunately I cannot sell your ticket while you have that mask with you. It is a company policy for the safety of all of our guests.”

(The individual doesn’t take very kindly and, still wearing the wolf head, tells me very sternly:)

Wolf-Man: “This is my head. I am Greypaw the Wolf, and while I am in my fursona, that is who I am, so I would like to buy my ticket, please.”

Me: *gesturing to the sign next to me* “Unfortunately, I can’t let you purchase tickets until you remove the head. I have to ask you to return it to your car before we can complete the transaction.”

Wolf-Man: *still wearing the head and leaning over the counter* “I can smell that you are afraid of me. Just because I am an animal does not mean you need to be afraid. I’m just like you.”

Me: *pretty frustrated* “Sir, I don’t want to ask you to leave, but if you do not remove your mask, I will be forced to. It is a company policy and I have to uphold it.”

(This enrages him, causing him to lean over and growl at me, getting down on his hands and knees for some reason.)

Wolf-Man: “I am not a ‘sir’; I am a wolf and I expect to be addressed as such. I want to see this movie and all you are doing is preventing me because you obviously don’t like that I am not a human like you.”

Me: “Sir, I will gladly sell you the ticket. I’ll even store your mask in box office with me so you can be sure it’s safe. All I need you to do is take it off.”

Wolf-Man: *growled again, this time howling as well* “I am NOT a ‘sir.’ I am a WOLF!”

Me: “Well, I do have to apologize then, but not only do we have a no mask policy, but we do have a no pet policy, so I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

(He finally got the hint and stormed out, mumbling to himself the whole way to the door. Luckily there were no more customers in line as it was a slow day, but I never did see Greypaw again.)

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