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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Creeping Away From Your Destination

| IL, USA | Bizarre, Transportation

Me: “Funeral home, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I am coming to my friend’s funeral this morning and I need directions.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, where are you coming from?”

Caller: *suddenly upset* “I’m not telling you where I live! Why would you ask me that!?”

Me: “Um, I don’t need your address ma’am. I just need a general location to give you directions.”

Caller: “Well, I feel uncomfortable telling you that.”

Me: “Well, I cannot tell you how to get here if I don’t know where you’re coming from.”

Caller: “You’re not very good at giving directions, then. This is why people think you funeral home people are creepy. Who asks what someone’s address is? That is a total invasion of privacy.”

Me: “Well, if it helps, our location is [Intersection in Town].”

Caller: “That doesn’t help me at all! Thanks for nothing, creep.”

A Noteworthy Customer

| Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(An eccentrically dressed man comes up to my till. I go to scan his items…)

Man: “No, wait! I can’t stand the beeping noise. It disturbs me. Hold on.”

(The man puts his fingers in his ears and nods to me. I scan through his items and he removes his fingers.)

Me: “That’ll be £4.49 please.”

(The man hands me a £10 note and I take a £5 note out of the till to give him as change.)

Man: “Could you check that, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry? What would you like me to check?”

Man: “The £5 note. I need to know it’s real.”

Me: “Um, okay.”

(I take out our note-checking pen and show him that the note is genuine.)

Man: “Thank you. You can’t be too careful can you? The banks like to keep some fake ones in circulation so that the public think there are crime rings everywhere. But there aren’t; it’s just the banks.”

Me: “Ah, I see… Well, you have a nice afternoon, sir.”

Man: “Thank you! And may all your wishes come true!”

Unable To Saw Through That Attitude

| New Brunswick, NJ, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

Customer: *holding two saws* “What’s better, [Brand #1] or [Brand #2] saws?”

Employee: “What are you looking to cut?”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “None of your f***ing business, bro! Just tell me which saw is better?”

Employee: “Well, [Brand #1] is a wood saw, and [Brand #2] is a hacksaw, so which is better depends on what you’re trying to cut.”

Customer: “Didn’t I just tell you to mind your own business?” *to me* “Can you believe the people that work here? Which if these looks better to do?”

Me: “[Brand #1] looks like a hacksaw and [Brand #2] looks like a wood saw.”

Customer: “Okay, f*** this. I’m going to [Other Hardware Store] and buying a chainsaw.”

Employee: “The wood saw’s probably better, then.”

Customer: *suddenly friendly* “So [Brand #2]? Okay, then! Thanks for your help!”