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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Multitasking Is Tasking You

| Evansville, IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer has called in to order; I am just finishing up the details of her purchase.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, that’s [list of her items], and the total comes to [price]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well.. could you hang on a minute? I’m ordering lunch.”

Me: “…What?”

Customer: “I’m in the drive through at [Restaurant]! Just wait a minute.”

(She proceeds to order enough food for at least six people, and I can overhear other people in the car with her. This takes several minutes.)

Customer: “I’m ready to check out now. Thanks for waiting!”

Me: “Yeah, no problem…”

Jesus On The Munchies

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Religion

(I am a cashier at this restaurant.)

Customer: “I would like three sandwiches.”

Me: “Okay, that will be $3.65.”

Customer: “NO. I AM YOUR LORD, JESUS. YOU MUST GIVE TO ME FOR FREE.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to just give you a free meal.”

Customer: “BUT I AM JESUS. YOU MUST.” *he grabs the sandwiches and starts eating them*

Me: “What would Jesus do?”

Customer: “AHHH!” *throws a fit*

Manager: “You are banned from this restaurant, Jesus.”

(He paid with his credit card and his name was not Jesus, but Paul.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(The customer in question is trying to purchase just under $300 worth of material. Their card declines.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me go outside and call my bank.”

(Comes back in a few minutes later on the phone.)

Customer: “Can you take a check over the phone?”

Me: “Do you mean a credit card?”

Customer: “No, a check. Like if I give you all the information off it can you take it over the phone?”

Me: “…No. I can’t take a check over the phone, sorry.”

(His wife shows up 15 minutes later with a check. I run in through our machine just to be safe. It is also declined.)

Me: “Sorry, your check was also declined. I’ll only be able to take cash as payment.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why it won’t go through! We just deposited $30,000 yesterday!”

Me: *trying to hide my skepticism* “I’m sorry for the trouble. Sometimes banks can be troublesome. Maybe you should call them again?”

(They went outside to ‘call their bank’ but ended up leaving in their new SUV, and new trucking pulling their new trailer.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39

Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed Tomorrow

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Time

(The Saturday issue of the local paper we sell is called the “Sunday Early Edition” since it contains a section of coupons, classified ads, etc. A customer brings one such paper to the counter.)

Customer: “Just a tall coffee and the paper today.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be $*.**!”

Customer: *looks down at paper* “Oh, I grabbed the wrong paper. Let me put this back.”

(He takes the paper back to the newspaper rack, and I assumed he wanted one of the national papers, but he comes back and slaps the local paper on the counter.)

Customer: “Don’t you have any of TODAY’S papers?”

Me: “Ah… sorry, what?”

Customer: “It’s only nine in the morning; you shouldn’t have tomorrow’s paper yet!”

Me:“Tomorrow’s paper? Sir, this is definitely today’s paper!”

Customer: “NO! It says SUNDAY on it, right there! It’s only Saturday!”

Me: “Yes, however the [Paper] calls its Saturday paper the “Sunday Early Edition” since it has coupons and such in it.”

Customer: “But it says SUNDAY! See? Every page says Sunday!”

Me: “I see it, sir, but that’s just what they call the Saturday paper. I assure you, it’s today’s paper. Tomorrow’s paper hasn’t been printed yet.”

Customer: “I’m putting this back. I don’t want tomorrow’s newspaper!” *walks off in a huff*

This Call Is Temporarily Frozen

| USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a call center for a large wireless company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Wireless Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Anna Arendelle.”

Me: “And the phone number please?”

Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure!”

Customer: *singing* “Do you want to build a snowman? Or ride our bikes around the halls?”

Me: *starts laughing* “I think someone’s talking to pictures on the walls…”

Customer: “It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms, watching the hours tick by. Tick tock! BYE BYE!” *click*

(I was laughing so hard I had to take a break.)

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