Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

A Bush In The Fridge Is Worth Two In The Bush

Oslo, Norway | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Politics

(I work in the customer service desk at a large store selling domestic appliances. This day one of my ‘regulars’ came in. He’s a really old man – and he seldom files complaints, he just wants to know how his stuff is working, and maybe have a chat.)

Me: “Hello. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *whispering* “There was something wrong with delivery of my fridge. It came with something in it.”

(I pull up his records, and see that he bought one of our display models earlier that week. It’s not seldom other customers leave soda bottles or other stuff in the fridges that’s out on the floor, and I immediately think that is the case.)

Me: “Well, I’m really sorry, sir. But may I ask, exactly what was inside the fridge?”

Customer: *still whispering* “George W. Bush.”

Me: “Excuse me? What?”

Customer: “The American ex-president. The younger one! He was in my fridge and now he’s on my living room floor, all tied up and ready to be shipped back.”

Me: “Shipped back?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry; I’m not going to have YOU do that, poor thing. I’ve called FedEx. I just wanted to let you know. ”

Me: *not really knowing what I can do, other than play along* “Well, thank you then, sir. And sorry for your trouble. Is the fridge working okay, though?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, it’s totally fine! But you should really stop selling appliances with republicans in them. Could hurt your business.”

Fresh Coffee With An Extra Shot Of Crazy

, | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Hi, I’m [Name]. I’d be happy to take your order!”

Customer: *on a cell phone* “…I know! I can’t believe it! I told him I just want that d*** whore out of my house!” *continues conversation*

Me: “Ma’am? May I help you?”

Customer: “Is your coffee fresh?”

Me: “Not at the moment, but I’d be happy to start you a fresh pot!”

Customer: “WHAT? I’m on OXYGEN! I don’t want to DIE!”

Me: *confused* “Ma’am? It wouldn’t affect—”

(The customer drives around to the window.)

Me: “So you did want the coffee, then?”

Customer: “Sorry about that! You didn’t hear any of that conversation did you?”

Me: “Well, yes, ma’am. Every employee with a headset can hear everything said at the speaker.”

Customer: *pays for her coffee* “OH! I’m so sorry, honey; I just want that d*** whore out of my house!”

(The customer got her coffee and drove away. The rest of us were left scratching our heads as witnesses to the level of crazy that just left.)

That Last Customer Was An Odd Fish

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners, Wild & Unruly

(I get home from work and my fiancé has just finished up his shift, too.)

Me: “Hi! How was your day?”

Fiancé: “Well, the last customer that I spoke with today told me that if I didn’t tell him exactly what he wanted to hear that he would find out where I lived, fly to me, find a fish, and gently slap me with it.”

Me: “Well, we live in Florida, so at least you’d know the fish was fresh!”

Enough Barking Crazy For One Day

| Savannah, GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m a supervisor working a closing shift, helping out for another department, since we’re short on people that night, and doing my work at the service desk. My coworker, who is manning the service desk that night, is on the phone with someone, looking slightly perplexed.)

Coworker: *mouths toward me* “Take this! Please!”

(She passes the phone over to me.)

Me: “Thank you for calling your local [Store Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *in a very forced high pitched voice* “Do you have any doghouses.”

(It’s pretty difficult to understand, as they’re clearly disguising their voice to sound like a woman.)

Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say doghouses?”

Customer: “Yes, doghouses.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. We don’t carry doghouses. We do have dog cages and dog carriers, though.”

Customer: “Do you think a little boy could fit in them?”

Me: *hangs up* “Nope. Not tonight. I do not have the patience. They asked if a little boy could fit in them. F*** that!”

Said It Without Batting An Eye

| Reno, NV, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I was born with a very rare degenerative eye disease which, after several corrective surgeries, has left me with some very unusual eyes (off-centered pupil, over-sized green-gold iris). I’m used to how they look, but a lot of people are taken aback by them, sometimes even asking if they’re real. This incident takes place while I’m hanging up clothing.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m fine, thank you. We’re looking for— Are you wearing contacts?”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “Your eyes look really weird.”

Me: ” …Thanks.”