Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

This Situation Will Just Snake Along

| IN, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I work in the children’s department on the second floor of our large public library, so I see some interesting things. There are no food and drinks allowed except in the main lobby area. A roughly ten-year-old boy enters the children’s department.)

Boy: “Can I get logged onto a computer? Oh, and this isn’t a drink by the way.” *he’s holding a styrofoam drink cup*

Me: “Yes, there are computers open in the lab. What’s in the cup?”

Boy: “A snake!”

Me: “What? A live snake?”

Boy: “Yep! I found it outside and I’m taking it home but I wanted to come here first. Can he stay in the cup while I’m on the computer?”

(A bit stupefied by the unexpected situation, I agree. I comes to my senses and realize a minute later that this a terrible idea.)

Me: *goes to computer lab* “I’m sorry, we actually don’t allow animals except trained service animals in the library. You need to take the snake outside.”

(The boy reluctantly agrees to do so. Out of curiosity, I watch him from the windows. The library security guard joins me to see what’s going on. The boy has elected to dump the snake out directly in front of the library main doors, which are automatic and still open behind him. It’s November and chilly so of course the snake is going towards heat, resulting in a desperate game of soccer on the boy’s part. There is general relief from the watching crowd when the snake is finally coerced into the bushes. My coworker stops panicking and everyone resumes normal duties. Five minutes later, an adult man walks into the children’s department:)

Man: “Hey, do you have a hole punch?”

Me: “We should, but you have to use it here at the desk. May I ask what you need it for?”

Man: *holding up Pringles can* “I found this snake outside and I put him in this can, but I want to punch some holes in the lid so he can breathe while I’m here. Can I borrow it?”

Coworker: “Why is that snake back in here again?!”

(Please note that he had to walk through the main lobby, past the circulation desk, past the reference desk, upstairs, and around the corner to children’s. The man was denied use of the hole punch, under duress, and the snake was escorted back outside of the library. Such fuss over an average garter snake!)

Gets The Chest Signal

| Rochester, NY, USA | Bizarre

(I am working as a bank teller at the drive-up window. A lady pulls up and I greet her through the speaker.)

Lady: “Can I ask a favor? I can’t find my phone in the car. If I give you my number, will you please call it?”

(I agree, and dial the number. Once it begins to ring, the lady jerks her head up with a shock, eyes wide. She proceeds to reach down her shirt and pull her phone out of her bra.)

Lady: “Found it!”

Stopping The Presses Is No Sweat-Er

| Santa Ana, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m a page designer at a community paper in Southern California and work a later shift than the reporters and editors. Around 10 pm one night the phone rings.)

Me: “Hi, [Newspaper]. Can I help you?”

Woman: “I hope so. This is terrible.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Woman: “You published a story about me today. I don’t like the photo.”

Me: “Okay… Which story was this?”

Woman: “It’s the one about [describes her job].”

Me: “Oh, yes, I know that one. I designed that page.”

(I call up the page from our PDF archive and I’m relieved I didn’t crop the photo wrongly. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with the photo — she’s sitting in a nicely decorated and furnished living room.)

Me: “Can you tell me what’s wrong with the photo? I’m looking at it and it looks OK to me.”

Woman: “I don’t like the sweater I’m wearing.”

Me: “The sweater?”

Woman: “Yes, I bought a new one for the interview and photo but I forgot to put it on.”

Me: “…”

Woman: “Can you do something about it?”

Me: “Um, not really. The paper’s been printed and it’s online so basically that’s it.”

Woman: “You mean you can’t take another photo of me in the new sweater and publish the story again?”

Me: *I literally did not know what to say at this point* “Er… no.”

Woman: “Oh.” *hangs up*

The Specific Lengths People Will Go To For Books

| Germany | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Home Improvement

(I overhear this exchange at my local bookstore:)

Customer: “I would like one metre of books, please.”

Saleslady: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I just got a new wall unit for my living room and it has a one metre shelf for books, so I would like to buy enough books to fill it.”

Saleslady: “No problem. What kind of books would you like?”

Customer: “Blue ones.”

They Are Bali Listening

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am in the bakery to buy bread when I overhear an argument. It’s clear that this customer is a regular, since the bakers have a bit of a laugh with him.)

Customer: “Where were you last week?”

Baker: “I was in Bali.”

Customer: “What? Why were you there?”

Baker: “Uh… for a holiday?”

Customer: “But why go on holiday?”

Baker: “Because… I wanted to? And it was nice there?”

(The customer goes on and on about Bali being a horrible place, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “What’s wrong with Bali? It’s a beautiful place.”

Customer: “Never been. Don’t want to go. I’m allergic to Bali.”

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