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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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That’s Some Very Explicit Baggage

| Cape Town, South Africa | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I work as a cashier at a well-known chain of pharmacies where “You Pay Less.” A woman approaches my till and sets her items down to be scanned. I start reciting the script as we are trained. Note that it is law to charge for the government-regulated plastic bags.)

Me: “Good day and welcome to [Store]. Do you have a [Loyalty Card?]”

Customer: *flings the card at me wordlessly*

Me: “Thank you.” *scans items* “Your total is [total]. Would you like a plastic bag?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “A medium bag will be [a few cents].”

Customer: “What?! This is a scam! They are bending us over and ramming us deep!”

Me: “…”

Customer: *loudly* “I’m telling you, it’s not much but it adds up. I must have spent HUNDREDS on bags in my lifetime! Hundreds to line the pockets of some GREEDY FAT CAT WHO JUST WANTS TO BEND ME OVER AND RAM ME HARD!”

Me: “So… would you like a bag?”

Customer: “I don’t want to be someone’s little b****! I’m not going to let them bend ME over!” *grabs her purchases and hurries from the store, muttering to herself about being ‘bent over and rammed’*

(The other customers in the line all cracked up.)

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Be Glad You’re Not Invited

| Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(Two guys, appearing to be in their early-to-mid 20s, walk up to the register. They place a box of fresh-breath strips, body hair removal cream, and a box of condoms on the counter.)

Customer: “WE’RE GOING TO A PARTY!”

Me: “I really wasn’t going to ask.”

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The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving

| Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Popular

(Most purchases at my store are usually between $100 and $300. The higher purchases are usually for firearms and ammunition. Customers can place any amount they want on our gift cards, but those amounts usually vary between $20 and $100. One day, a customer comes up to my register with a cart full of fishing gear, including two $300 coolers. I ring him up.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount over $1500].”

(He smiles and hands me a gift card. He has a whole stack of them in his hands. I hold out my hand for the rest, but he holds onto the stack. I scan the first card, which takes $250 off his purchase.)

Me: “Okay, you owe [amount over $1250].”

(He smiles and hands me a second card.)

Me: Okay, now you owe [amount over $1000].

(He smiles and hands another card.)

Me: “[Amount over $750].”

(I am gathering a stack of used gift cards on top of my register at this point, and we’re only halfway through the stack still in his hands. He hands me the next card.)

Me: “[Amount over $500].”

(He hands me another card.)

Me: “[Amount over $250].”

(He hands me his second-to-last card.)

Me: “[Amount around $50.]”

(He hands me his last card. By this point, we’re both laughing.)

Me: “And you have [amount around 200] left on this card.” *I hand him his last gift card and a receipt.* “Have a good one!”