Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Urine For A Shock

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell drug tests?”

Me: “Yes! I’ll show you where they are.”

(I show him where the drug tests are, and he comes up to the pharmacy counter to pay for it.)

Customer: “Do you have a cup I could use?”

Me: “…Sure. Let me go get one.”

(I go grab one of the paper cups the pharmacy staff uses.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “Thanks! Where’s your bathroom?”

(I tell him where the restrooms out in the store are and he goes on his way. Several minutes later he walks back up to the counter and puts his cup on the counter.)

Customer: “So do I just stick the test in here?”

(I look in his cup. Yep. It’s full of pee.)

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay! Thanks!”

(Customer walked away. I frantically disinfected myself and the entire counter.)

Good Matt Hunting

| Denver, CO, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Movies & TV

Coworker: *to woman who has walked through the door* “Hi there! What can I do for you!”

Woman: “I’m looking for Matt Damon’s room.”

Coworker: *checks computer* “I don’t have anyone under that name… Did you mean the movie star, Matt Damon?”

Woman: “Yes!”

(We are a nice hotel, but not THAT nice.)

Coworker: “I’m pretty sure he’s not here.”

Woman: “But he’s picking me up here! I’m going to call him!”

Coworker: “O… kay.”

(She lets her stay on the couch for a half hour to wait for Matt Damon. A little bit after we switch out, the woman comes back to the front desk.)

Woman: “I’m going to go wait out front for him!”

(She then wandered out the door and into the busy parking lot, and walked aimlessly out into the neighborhood.)

Purchasing Is Its Own Reward

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What can you do for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, in regards to what specifically?”

Customer: “Well, I spend a lot of money with you guys and I don’t know if I should be talking to you or what but I want to know what you can do for me?”

Me: “Other than deliver great products at a great price quickly to your door?”

Customer: “I mean, is there a rewards program or something? I want something free for all my purchases.”

Me: “Sir, I see you are using a store Visa card with us. That does give you cash back on every purchase. I’m not exactly sure what it is you are asking, however. You’d like me to give you free products because you shop with us?”

Customer: “I guess I’m not talking to the right person.”

Me: “Sir, I don’t think there is a right person.”

Customer: “Just transfer me to someone else.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(That was my first call of the day. No ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ or explanation. Just ‘what can you do for me?’ Wow.)

Love An Autopilot

| Acton, MA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m in the electronics department, covering for the guy who is usually there. A call comes in for me. The caller sounds like a guy in his late teens or early twenties.)

Caller: “Hi. Do you guy’s have any more PS4s?”

Me: “Nope, we’re sold out.”

Caller: “Okay. Thanks. I love you. Good bye.” *hangs up*

(I just looked at the phone, then chuckled at him being on autopilot.)

Make You Fall Off Your Chair

| FL, USA | Bizarre, History, Money

(I am at a gas station and the customer in front of me is paying. He notices he has an Alabama state quarter.)

Customer: “Is that an electric chair on there? Was Alabama the first state to use the electric chair?”

Cashier: “No, sir, that’s Helen Keller.”

Customer: “Why the h*** did they put Helen Keller in an electric chair?!”

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