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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Refuses To Move From The Subject

| MS, USA | Bizarre

(I work at an adult store in the same building as a topless club. I answer the phone for both sides. As you can imagine, we get a LOT of prank calls. Having worked here for over a year, I’ve gotten the same people more than once. This guy in particular I’ve gotten three times.)

Time 1:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

Me: “Yeah. I’ve been here almost all day.”

Caller: “Well you do me a favor. If someone gets in your way on the way home, you tell them to ‘move b****.’ Can you do that for me?”

Me: “Um… sure.”

Caller: “What are you going to tell them?”

Me: “Move.”

Caller: “No, you tell them to ‘move b****.'”

Me: “Okay. Byyyeee.”

Time 2:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

Me: *it had been a while since the first time and I’d forgotten about him* “I guess?”

Caller: “Well you do me a favor. If someone gets in your way on the way home, you tell them to ‘move b****.’ Can you do that for me?”

Me: *remembering* “I don’t like to give in to road rage.”

Time 3:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

Me: *immediately remembering even though it’d been a while* “Actually I love my job.”

Caller: “Yeah, but sometimes you’re just ready to go home.”

Me: “Nope. I love being here.”

Caller: “Well, I bet when you get off you’re just ready to get home.”

Me: “Not really. I love my job. I love being here.”

(He keeps trying to get me to give him his opening.)

Me: “I don’t really like driving at night.”

(I immediately realized my mistake but it was after midnight and I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before.)

Caller: “Well if someone gets in your way—”

Me: “G** d*** it.” *click*

(Next time I’m telling him I live here.)

The Mother Of All Customers

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I am helping a customer with her two children carry shopping bags out to her car.)

Customer: *to child* “Be careful on the road, sweety! Oh, here’s my car.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Have a lovely day!”

Customer: *in a babying tone* “Thank you, sweety. Be careful walking back.” *pats me on the head*

Me: “…”

Mother: “I’ve been spending way too much time with my kids.”

Not Speaking The Same Language

| Wilmington, NC, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Technology

Caller: “It says select a language. What do I do?”

Me: “Select your language.”

Caller: “So if I go to another country, I can change it to their language?”

Me: “You could but you’re still going to be the one using the phone so you would probably still want to leave it on a language you speak.”

Caller: “Oh, okay.”