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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

They Ended Up Having A Triffid Conversation

| USA | Bizarre, Math & Science

(I am an undergrad researcher to a microbial genetics lab. As such, we have a lot of plants along one wall for experiments. These are pure-bred alfalfa plants, some of them genetically modified, so we are a little protective of them. We don’t want any of their seeds escaping the lab, both because they’re expensive, and because we don’t want them cross-breeding with the wild-type alfalfa outside. We have a net below to catch their seed pods, but some seed pods escape. Because of this, we’ve asked the janitors to not sweep underneath the plants so that we can gather up any escaped seed pods and they don’t make it out into the wild. I’m in the lab late working on a project that needs the bacteria fed every hour. So, I’m staying the night, but am currently surfing the Internet and watching shows while waiting for the next feed. A janitor comes in to clean and goes white in the face when she sees me.)

Janitor: “I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

Me: “Sorry. Go ahead. You’re fine.”

Janitor: “I’ll just come back later.”

Me: “The bacteria need to be fed every hour for this experiment, so I’m here all night. Just do what you need to do.”

Janitor: *looking at me like she’s seen a ghost* “Really… I’ll just…”

Me: “Do you need me to leave?”

Janitor: “No… I…”

(She starts cleaning the lab, and I notice that not only is she not sweeping under the plants, but she is leaving a good five feet between her and the plants whenever she goes near them. She seems really overly cautious about it and seems like she’s going to a lot of trouble to not go near them.)

Me: “It’s okay; you can go near the plants. We just don’t want to lose their seed pods, is all.”

Janitor: *suddenly less afraid* “They won’t eat me?”

Me: “What? The alfalfa?”

Janitor: “Yeah. That’s what my manager told me. You guys were making a plant army for the government and we had to leave the plants alone, or we’d get bitten or even eaten.”

Me: *pauses* “They are just alfalfa plants. We’re being paid by the Department of Agriculture to make alfalfa plants that need less nitrogen fertilizer.”

Janitor: “Oh!”

(She spent the rest of the time cleaning the lab having a great conversation with me. It turned out she was a really nice girl, a French major, and we both spoke French and it helped pass the time. I kind of understand now why she was afraid of our lab, but I don’t understand why she thought the government was building a plant army.)

Tree Lives Matter

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

Caller: “Um? I’m calling? Because, there’s like, a tree? In the road? And I can’t get by. And there’s like, no emergency vehicles there?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we have an officer on the way to shoot the tree. Hold tight! Everything is going to be fine.”

Didn’t Find His Calling

| CA, USA | Bizarre

(I am working at the information desk at a bookstore when a customer comes up.)

Customer: “Hi, you have a phone call for me?”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “Over the intercom, I heard it! You said “[very common male first name], you have a phone call on line one!”

Me: “Sir, that’s our store manager’s name. We were letting him know he had a phone call.”

Customer: “Oh.” *walks away disappointed*