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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Not A Very De-Scent Thing To Do

| Loveland, CO, USA | Bizarre

(I approach a customer who’s been staring at the cologne for a little while.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “Which one of these do women like?”

Me: “Um, all of them? I can tell you what I like, but it really depends on the woman. I would suggest you choose something you like first and foremost. What scents have you worn and liked in the past?”

(He shows me a few and I help him choose one that fits his preference, though it’s not my taste at all. I hand him an unopened box and go to set the tester bottle back down when he snatches it from my hand and sprays it directly on me.)

Customer: “There! Now you’ll smell like me!” *grins and walks away*

(This was 20 minutes into an eight-hour shift. I had to smell like that stuff until we closed and I could go home and wash it off.)

A Sour Attitude

, | NJ, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I ring up a customer for a sweet tea. The sweet tea is self-serve, but we have lemon slices in the back that we can give the customer if requested.)

Customer: “I want lemon.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *puts slice of lemon in a small cup as is customary, and hands it to her*

Customer: *looks inside, makes disgusted face, gives it back* “No. That’s not what I wanted. I want SOME lemon.”

Me: “Um, we usually just give out one slice. How many did you want?”

Customer: “Whatever you consider to be SOME lemon.”

Me: *hesitantly gives her two more slices* “Here you go?”

Customer: “That’s too much.” *gives one back and walks away*

The Biggest Space Is Between Their Ears

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a certain mountain based sci-fi rollercoaster in a magical themed park run by a mouse. Every night at 10 pm, we have a fireworks show. One night, I am standing at greeter position. Five minutes before the fireworks show; I am approached by a guest.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how could I be of assistance?”

Guest: “Yeah, could you tell me what’s in here?” *pointing at the building containing the rollercoaster*

Me: “Oh, yes, that’s [Space-themed Roller Coaster Mountain]. It’s an indoor rollercoaster. The wait time is currently—”

Guest: “Wait, so, it’s not for the fireworks?”

Me: “Afraid not. The fireworks will be visible from out here, though, if you wanted to see them.”

Guest: “I really thought there was some special viewing area up there for the fireworks.”

Me: *looking at the giant concrete structure with no platforms, windows, or balconies* “Unfortunately not, friend. In fact once inside you’ll be completely unable to see the fireworks, seeing as the whole thing is indoors.”

Guest: “Oh. Wait why are there people going in then?”

Me: “Well, they’re going in to ride the rollercoaster.”

Guest: “But the fireworks are about to start.”

Me: “They won’t be watching the fireworks.”

Guest: “But why? They start in five minutes!”

Me: “I guess they don’t want to see them then.”

Guest: *after a long pause* “Well, that’s really stupid, then.”

(Without any hesitation, the guest then proceeded to get in line for the ride, and walked into the building.)

His Corn Hasn’t Quite Popped Yet

| NH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I pick up the phone at my work.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Local Movie Theater]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes, I was wondering if you guys had a concession stand at your theater?”

Me: “Of course we do.”

Customer: “Well, do you guys sell popcorn there?”

Me: “Y- Yes…?”

Customer: “Okay, thank you. Have a good day.”

Donuts Are The Devil

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Religion

(I’m working the night shift at a convenience store. Every week, we have a different product to ‘upsell’ – that is, we have to ask customers if they’d like to purchase the item on our tills because it is on special offer. A middle-aged man comes to my till with some bread and milk. The transaction is fairly normal until…)

Me: “Would you like any of these doughnuts today, sir? They’re on offer at £1 a box.”

Customer: *still smiling* “Oh, no, dear. I couldn’t possibly. They’re for devil worshippers, you see.”

(I half laugh, unsure if he’s serious. He looks below my till at a display of egg-shaped chocolate.)

Customer: “And here’s your Easter eggs. All for devil worshippers, too.” *laughs* “Take care, sweetheart.”

(He left, and I spend the rest of the night wondering what is satanic about a jam doughnut.)

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