icon_crazyrequests

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

I Am He As You Are He As You Are Me And We Are All Together

| SA, Australia | Bizarre

(I work in a shoe repair shop, not far from our watch repair shop.)

Customer: “Excuse, are you the same as him?”

Me: “I don’t understand the question. Are you asking if I am him?”

Customer: “Yes. Are you him?”

Me: “You’re asking me if I am that person over there?”

Customer: “Yes, are you him?”

Me: “No, I am not him. I am me.”

(The customer walked away looking sad.)

Don’t Go Against Or He’ll Be Very (St. Georges) Cross

| Denmark | Bizarre, Geography, Politics

(A customer walks into to the shop where I work. He is talking to himself and starts laughing randomly. This conversation happens after he has paid for his purchase.)

Customer: “By the way can you tell me which flag this is?” *shows me his coin purse*

Me: “That is the English flag.”

Customer: “The English flag looks like this?”

Me: “Yes, that’s the English flag; it’s different from the British flag.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. And are the English with us or against us?”

Me: “I think they’re with us; they were the last time I checked.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks so much. Bye!”

Me: *to my coworker* “I wonder what he would have done if I had said they were against us?”

Unable To Swim Through His Bigotry

| OR, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre

(I work at a pool where all the supervisors and managers are female. The only male employees teach swimming lessons or life guard. It’s a small pool, so there’s normally only two or three of us on duty. I was supervising a very quiet open swim with a male coworker. I’m 24 and he’s 16.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I am the manager, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “No, you’re not. I need to talk to the maaaaaanageeeeeeeer.”

Me: “I AM the manager. What do you need?”

Customer: “No, you can’t help me. I need the man out on deck right now.”

Me: “Sir, the guard on deck has been working here for less than two weeks. I’ve been here for over six years. What do you need?”

Customer: “Never mind. I’ll just ask him when he’s off.”

(I switch with my coworker a few minutes later. Not even a minute after, he comes out on deck to ask me to help the man who had been bothering me earlier.)

Me: “Are you willing to let me help you now?”

Customer: “YOU can’t help me. I want to speak to your boss.”

Me: *seeing where this is going* “My boss is also a woman. So is about 75% of this staff, which is fairly common in an aquatic environment. Now can I help you or not?”

Customer: “Fine. I need change for a dollar.”