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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Children Of The Corn Sandwich

| USA | Bizarre

(I’m working at a coffee shop in a larger department store. We have a problem customer who comes in multiple time a day on weekends. He’s not aggressive, but he’s usually high.)

Customer: “How much are those sandwiches?”

Me: “Most of our sandwiches are $6.84.”

Customer: “I don’t want anyone to know. Those kids, they know I’m buying sandwiches. They always know.”

(There are no children present.)

Me: *getting confused* “We put the sandwich in a bag.”

Customer: “No, the kids always know. They’re very smart. What if I get a gift card? Then they won’t know! Give me a gift card for the sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $6.84. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Are you sure they won’t know? I don’t want the kids to know about my sandwich.”

Me: “Uh, no, I don’t think they’ll know about it.”

(He bought a gift card for the exact price of the sandwich, and then used it to pay for his sandwich, all while going on about “the kids always know.”)

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “Weed. That was about weed.”

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Let Them Eat Cake

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m a young African-American man who is working at the dessert bar at the restaurant. An elderly lady walks up to the bar and selects a slice of cake.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you today?”

Lady: “Good, good. Say, do you have any smaller slices of this cake?”

Me: “No, sorry. All of the cakes are pre-cut in the back.”

Lady: “Oh, all right. I would just hate to waste.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. Tell you what, I can get a knife and cut that piece in half for you?”

Lady: “Oh, yes, please. I’d hate to waste, you know, with all the American children out there starving. Did you grow-up starving? I’m sure you did.”

Me: “Haha, no, ma’am.” *in my head* “THIS B****.”

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Car-Tipping

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Transportation

(It’s late at night, and I’m out delivering pizza. I’m driving a relatively small car.)

Customer #1: “Oh, what a cute car! [Customer #2], come look at it!”

(Customer #2 comes out to look.)

Customer #1: “Can we take a picture of it?”

Me: “I guess.”

Customer #2: “Take a picture of me on it!”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

(The next door neighbor now opens their door.)

Neighbor: “I’ll take the picture!”

(Customer #1, Customer #2, and Neighbor run down to my car. Customer #2 then lies on top of it, for Neighbor to take pictures of.)

Customer #1: “We’re not tipping you enough for this, are we?”

Me: *having given up on existence, just shrugs*

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Donating Is A Scream

| LA, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I work as a donation solicitor. My job is to call numbers out of the phonebook and ask them if they’d like to donate to a fire department.)

Me: “He—”

Customer: *blood-curdling shriek*

(I’m just sitting there, shaking, the phone now about a foot from my head, everyone staring at me. And then I start to hear laughter from the phone.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *laughing* “I’m sorry about that; I just had to do it. What was it you wanted?”

Me: “Uh, would you like to donate to [Fire Department]?”

Customer: “Certainly! You can mark me down for fifty dollars!”

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A Very Large Closing Sign

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(At our department store, we have overhead announcements at half-hour, fifteen, ten and five minutes before the store is closing, alerting customers to please bring all final purchases to the registers, etc. We also usually have one of the team leads (TLs) up by the front doors to let people know we’ll be closing soon and to please come back if it’s not a small, urgent purchase. The TL on the job this night is about 6’5″ and around 300 pounds, and this apparently happens at least three times a night whenever he’s given the duty.)

Team Lead: “Sorry, folks, we’re going to be closing soon.”

(He says this with a cheerful smile and a general gesture towards the exit doors; the would-be-customers end up looking TERRIFIED, and bolt out!)

Me: “[Team Lead], you’re not scary looking! Why do they freak out?”

Team Lead: “Apparently they’re not used to having someone that is too big to ignore tell them things!”

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