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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Swimming Against The Current

| MN, USA | Bizarre

(I work as a lifeguard at a small indoor pool. There are signs posted on the locker room doors stating that all swimmers must wear swimsuits in the pool and it clearly states, “no jeans are to be worn in the pool.” A young man comes up to the office and pays for himself and two girls. He walks over to them and then walks back to the office.)

Customer: “So do you, like, HAVE to wear swimsuits in the water?”

Me: “Yes, you have to wear a swimsuit in the water. We don’t allow swimmers to wear street clothes or jeans in the pool for sanitary reasons.”

Customer: “So, like, even jean SHORTS?!”

Me: “Yes, even jean shorts. Swimmers MUST wear a suit in the water.”

(Customer walks back over to the girls, says something to them, and comes back to me.)

Customer: “Okay, well, we don’t want to go swimming, then. We didn’t know you had to wear swimsuits here. I want my money back. We’re leaving.”

Me: “Okay, let me go get it for you!” *hands customer money back*

(The group walks away, discussing how stupid it is that they would have to wear a swimsuit at a pool. I thought pools and swimsuits went hand in hand? Apparently not…)

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Gotta Take It H2-Slowly

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance, Popular

(I work in a flower shop. We sell cut flowers and some potted plants. Two young women approach the counter with one small potted cactus each.)

Customer #1: “We’d like these, please. Are they easy to take care of?”

Me: “Yup, they’re very easy going. Just put them in direct sunlight and water them about once a month.”

Customer #1: “Once a month?!”

Me: “That’s right. A lot of people are surprised when they hear that, but you can actually kill a cactus by overwatering it.”

(Customer #1 starts jumping around and clapping.)

Customer #2: “I told her that if she could keep a plant alive for a year, she could have a boyfriend.”

Me: “…I don’t think the point of having a boyfriend is to keep him alive.”

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Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Bizarre

(In the shop I work in we sell international postcard stamps in strips of five. We don’t have single stamps. After a couple of years working here, I have a whole explanatory spiel that I go into to pre-empt the most common questions about the stamps.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have a stamp for one postcard?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We only sell international stamps in strips of—”

(The customer suddenly glares at me and interrupts my spiel.)

Customer: “’I am afraid,’ you say. You are not afraid! I am afraid…”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir…”

(He wandered off, muttering under his breath in what sounded like German.)