Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Stopping The Presses Is No Sweat-Er

| Santa Ana, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m a page designer at a community paper in Southern California and work a later shift than the reporters and editors. Around 10 pm one night the phone rings.)

Me: “Hi, [Newspaper]. Can I help you?”

Woman: “I hope so. This is terrible.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Woman: “You published a story about me today. I don’t like the photo.”

Me: “Okay… Which story was this?”

Woman: “It’s the one about [describes her job].”

Me: “Oh, yes, I know that one. I designed that page.”

(I call up the page from our PDF archive and I’m relieved I didn’t crop the photo wrongly. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with the photo — she’s sitting in a nicely decorated and furnished living room.)

Me: “Can you tell me what’s wrong with the photo? I’m looking at it and it looks OK to me.”

Woman: “I don’t like the sweater I’m wearing.”

Me: “The sweater?”

Woman: “Yes, I bought a new one for the interview and photo but I forgot to put it on.”

Me: “…”

Woman: “Can you do something about it?”

Me: “Um, not really. The paper’s been printed and it’s online so basically that’s it.”

Woman: “You mean you can’t take another photo of me in the new sweater and publish the story again?”

Me: *I literally did not know what to say at this point* “Er… no.”

Woman: “Oh.” *hangs up*

The Specific Lengths People Will Go To For Books

| Germany | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Home Improvement

(I overhear this exchange at my local bookstore:)

Customer: “I would like one metre of books, please.”

Saleslady: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I just got a new wall unit for my living room and it has a one metre shelf for books, so I would like to buy enough books to fill it.”

Saleslady: “No problem. What kind of books would you like?”

Customer: “Blue ones.”

They Are Bali Listening

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am in the bakery to buy bread when I overhear an argument. It’s clear that this customer is a regular, since the bakers have a bit of a laugh with him.)

Customer: “Where were you last week?”

Baker: “I was in Bali.”

Customer: “What? Why were you there?”

Baker: “Uh… for a holiday?”

Customer: “But why go on holiday?”

Baker: “Because… I wanted to? And it was nice there?”

(The customer goes on and on about Bali being a horrible place, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “What’s wrong with Bali? It’s a beautiful place.”

Customer: “Never been. Don’t want to go. I’m allergic to Bali.”

The Perfect Catalog Response

| HI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work in a large, chain department store. We have sales every week, and mail out catalogues for every sale, along with newspaper ads, commercials, etc. During a busy Saturday sale during the holiday season, I’m working in the woman’s clothing section. A tiny, elderly lady shuffles through the door, spots me, and heads in my direction.)

Me: “Good afternoon!”

Customer: “Hi. You had a sweater in your catalogue.” *a moment’s pause* “Where is it?”

Me: “…”

(I immediately envision all the ways this conversation can go horribly, horribly wrong, but while I’m standing there petrified, she turns her head to the side.)

Customer: “Ah, there it is.”

(She shuffled off into the racks. I blinked, let out a long breath, and scampered away. This tale raised much hooting laughter in the break room later. Never has an employee in that situation been let off the hook so neatly!)

The Sauce Of All The Weirdness

, | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: *in drive-thru* “Can I get a [Sandwich #1]? But what comes on that?”

Me: “It comes with lettuce, cheese, special sauce, onions, pickles, meat, and bread.”

Customer: “Okay, yeah. Can I have that, but I don’t want a bun. Or cheese.”

Me: “Okay, I can do that.”

Customer: “I don’t want onions or lettuce either. And no pickles. And no meat. What does that leave?”

Me: “Sauce.”

Customer: “And no sauce either.”

Me: “So, you don’t want the [Sandwich #1]?”

Customer: “No, I want it. Hey, what’s on the [Sandwich #2]?”

Me: “It comes with—”

Customer: *drives off into the distance never to be seen or heard again*

(What the f*** just happened?)

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