Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

A False Cart

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work in a superstore in a mall with three floors. The first and second floor have the only entrances/exits and the only registers, so that’s where we keep the cart returns, but the escalators have a mechanism to bring carts up and down between floors. The third floor is all merchandise. I’ve brought a cart upstairs for my own use, to hold cleaning supplies, defective merchandise, etc. I already have some equipment and my own jacket in it. A customer approaches me with a full handbasket.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where can I get a shopping cart?”

Me: “That would be downstairs, on the first or second floor.”

Customer: “There’s none up here?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. Since the only entrances and exits are on floors one or two, that’s where we keep the carts.”

(He seems less than satisfied, but by this point I’ve gotten to the employees-only supply room, and bring my cart inside to fill it. A coworker comes in a moment later with his own cart.)

Coworker: “There’s a customer out there asking for a cart. Like, he wanted me to give him mine.”

(I laugh, but brace myself. Sure enough, when I exit the customer is loitering by our employees-only door. At this point he would have spent less time going downstairs and getting his own cart.)

Customer: “Hey, I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: *brightly* “Sure! He’ll be down on the second floor, at the service desk. Just right of the cart return.”

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Pray It’s Just Dry Humor

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

(My brother is mopping the women’s restroom when a customer comes in.)

Brother: “Careful. It might be wet.”

Customer: *completely serious* “Good. My hip’s been bothering me and I don’t have insurance, so if I slip and fall I can sue [Store].”

(She goes into the handicap stall. Meanwhile my brother waits outside so he can finish cleaning after she’s done. The customer eventually comes out.)

Customer: *disappointed* “The floor’s dry.”

Brother: “I’m… sorry?”

Barking Crazy

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “Hi there. I just wanted to let you know I had to throw away one of my dog’s toys that I bought here.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that! What was wrong with it?”

Customer: “Well, my dog was just OBSESSED with it. She loved it! Even after I took it away, she still wanted it! It MUST be those Chinese chemicals they put in them!”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “Is it a full moon?”

A Uniform Response

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Can I get a medium vanilla soft serve?”

Me: “Yeah, no problem. Would you like toppings?”

Customer: “Yes, but I have a question; do you have to buy to work here?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well the apron you’re wearing is for sale here, so you have to pay to work here, right?”

Other Customer: “Um, that means you can buy the apron they wear.”

Customer: “Well, then I would have to work here.”

All The Ingredients For A Weird Interaction

| MA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am working the morning shift with my uncle in his small sandwich shop where most of the customers are regulars who live around town. A man I had never seen before walked in holding a bag of groceries.)

Customer: “Hi, I just moved to the area and heard this place was good. Do you guys make breakfast sandwiches here?”

Me: “Yes! We have egg and cheese with sausage, bacon, or egg.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll take a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich on an English muffin.”

(I turn around to start making the sandwich when he stops me.)

Customer: “Actually, would you mind making it with my ingredients? I have gluten-free English muffin, cage-free eggs, imported cheese, and antibiotic-free sausage in here.”

(He holds up the grocery bag and tries to hand it to me.)

Me: *confused* “So, let me get this straight. You have all the ingredients for the sandwich. You just want me to cook them for you and then sell it back to you as a sandwich?”

Customer: “Yup!”

(I look at my uncle and he just shrugs, so I take the bag, make the sandwich with his ingredients, and sell it back to him. After he leaves, I turn back to my uncle.)

Me: “Couldn’t he have just cooked this at home for free?”

(He still comes in all the time and asks us to cook various food for him.)

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