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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Giraffe’s Are The Sweetest Animal

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(My family owns a specialty chocolate shop that’s known for doing molded chocolate figures of animals and sports equipment. I’ve been working here since I was old enough to see over the counter. It’s been slow and I’m the only employee here.)

Customer: *walking in* “Hi. I was wondering if you have any more chocolate-covered giraffes?”

Me: “…Chocolate covered? No. We do have chocolate giraffes…”

Customer: “So you have chocolate-covered giraffes!”

Me: “Um, no. We have solid chocolate giraffes.”

Customer: “Yeah! So you have chocolate-covered giraffes!”

Me: “No, sir, we don’t. I’m not going to go to Lincoln Park Zoo and get you a giraffe and pour chocolate over it.”

Customer: “But you just said you have chocolate-covered giraffes.”

Me: “Chocolate giraffes! We do not carry chocolate-covered giraffes! I’m pretty sure that’s illegal…”

Customer: “But I don’t get why you don’t have chocolate-covered giraffes! You should have chocolate-covered giraffes…”

Me: “SIR! We don’t have any chocolate-covered giraffes! What we have are lots of very small, three-inch giraffe figures that are molded out of chocolate!”

Customer: “Oh! …How is that different from what I said?”

Things Are Looking Up

| Towson, MD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a trainer at a place known for its broccoli cheddar soup. Generally, our customers are pleasant, but recently one of my newer trainees was taking orders when a middle aged woman comes up to her.)

Cashier: “Hi! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: *rudely* “I’ll have [sandwich] and [soup]. To go.”

Cashier: “Okay! That will be [total]. Anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “You can get me your manager! Now!”

Cashier: *taken aback* “Oh… okay, sure thing!”

Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “This cashier kept looking at me!”

Manager: “…I’m sorry, she looked at you?”

Customer: “YES. She kept looking at me while taking my order! It was so disrespectful!”

Manager: *dramatically covers her eyes with her hand* “Oh, I am SO sorry, ma’am. Please excuse our disrespect!” *exaggeratedly fumbles for receipt with eyes closed* “Is there anything else we can do for you today?”

(The woman storms out without her food.)

Cashier: *to me* “Can I go on break and not look at anyone for a few minutes?”

One Pint Of Stubbornness

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a small independent pub which is near to several large chain pubs. As a result, people are sometimes put off by the fact we have slightly higher drink prices. Guinness is among one of the most expensive drinks we sell.)

Me: “Hi, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi there. Can I have a pint of Guinness, please?”

(I go and pour half of his pint, before returning to charge him for it.)

Me: “That will be £3.90 please.”

Customer: “What?! That’s outrageous, you can get it for £3.40 across the road!”

Me: “I understand that. Unfortunately, as we are an independent pub, we cannot afford to match the prices of the larger chains, especially with the high buy in cost of Guinness.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you make it cheaper? It’s just absurd!”

Me: “No, I have absolutely nothing to do with the prices I’m afraid. We do have [large selection of other drinks] for a lot cheaper if you’d prefer.”

Customer: “No, I’ll have the Guinness, but that’s unacceptable! How can you charge that much?! I wouldn’t work somewhere that charges so much. It’s ridiculous!”

(I keep trying to explain to him why it is so expensive and offer him alternatives but with no success. He does however pay for his drink, and I place it in front of him.)

Customer: “It’s not that I can’t afford £3.90; I can!” *shows me the money in his wallet* “But it’s the principle! Just ridiculous. Where is your sink?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your sink! I refuse to drink something that costs so much; it’s going down the drain!”

Me: “Sir, you’ve already paid for it. There is really no need for that.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll chuck it down the toilet, then. I refuse to pay that much for a drink!”

(The customer then went to the bathroom and came back seconds later with an empty pint glass, ranting loudly about high prices and how we were all c***s for charging that much. I would understand if he’d refused to pay for the drink as some people do, but paying for it to chuck it down the toilet?)

Any Given Sundae

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m working drive-thru at a well known fast food place.)

Customer: “I’d like one large chocolate sundae, and one large sundae with chocolate or caramel on the bottom and chocolate or caramel on the top with extra chocolate or caramel. It doesn’t matter which one.”

Me: “So two large sundaes wi—”

Customer: “No, you’re not listening to me. One large chocolate sundae. One large sundae with chocolate or caramel on the bottom and chocolate or caramel on the top with extra chocolate or caramel. Either one.”

Me: “Okay. So in total you have tw—”

Customer: “NO, YOU AREN’T LISTENING. ONE LARGE CHOC—”

Manager: *signalling to me that the customer wants just one*

Me: “So you want one large sundae with chocolate on the bottom and caramel on the top with extra sauce?”

Customer: “YES. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Gonna Party Like Its 1595

| Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre

Me: “Okay, that’s $15.95.”

Customer: “I remember 1595. ‘Twas a good year; Hastings was a changed place, that’s for sure.”

Me: “And the maidens were young and fair?”

Customer: “Yep. The biggest news story was these two young people who got married but succumbed to a tragic murder-suicide. And some young ‘un going by the name Shakespeare was top of the charts. Yep, an interesting year for sure!” *wanders off with his purchase*

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