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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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A Disturbing Way To Say ‘Do Not Disturb’

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m the idiot customer in this story. My family got two hotel rooms, one for my parents and the other for my sister and me. My mom comes into my room as I’m doing my hair in the bathroom, half-dressed. There’s a knock on the door and I assume it’s my dad.)

Me: *yelling* “I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!”

(Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t my dad. It was a hotel employee. He muffled a response of “uh, ok” and left. If you’re out there, sir, I’m so sorry. I hope I made your day though because my family can’t stop laughing.)

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Skim Over The Truth

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Comics Single

(I’m working my last week in a local health food grocery, and earlier in the day we were swamped with customers. Naturally, things will probably go out of stock until the next delivery day.)

Customer: “Why are you out of skim milk?”

Coworker: “Let me ask. Hey, [My Name], do you know why we’re out of skim?”

Me: “Well… I would assume because people bought it all. We could check the back stock but chances are it’s all gone.”

(Sure enough, we’re completely out of skim milk. Apparently the customer didn’t appreciate having the truth given to her, because she comes up later specifically to me. Oh boy.)

Customer: “You need to stop being such a smart-a**.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Of course people bought it all. That was stupid. You should’ve worded it like ‘the shipment isn’t here yet’ or ‘it’s stuck in the mountains’ or something.”

Me: “So you want me to lie to you… about why we don’t have skim. What?”

(So remember, if the customer asks you a question, make up the answer. Lesson learned.)

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In A Butter Bother

| Clute, TX, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

(I am the customer. I have brought peanut butter and bread to a hotel room, but have not brought a knife. Looking around the room, I have found a ballpoint pen, and am intending to use it as a spreader. My cousin, who I am sharing the room with, asks:)

Cousin: “Are you sure that’s sanitary?”

Me: “I’ll check.”

(I call the front desk.)

Front Desk: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. How sanitary are your pens?”

Front Desk: “What?”

Me: “The pens. The ballpoint pens. I’m seeing if I can use them as peanut butter spreaders.”

Front Desk: “I don’t know. Some people take them home, and some of them just come off a cart… We have butter knives!”

Me: “Are they complimentary?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

Me: “Can you send them up?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

(They did!)

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Net-Twerk Support

| MS, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I call a customer because I have to remote into their computer to check on something. He is an older man I had talked to before and was always very nice. When I get on his computer, I notice a tab still open from YouTube called “how to twerk.” I act like I don’t notice it but he immediately closes it out and says:)

Customer: “Hey, it’s harder than it looks!”

(Not the explanation I was expecting.)

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Folding Back

| Woking, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work in a high-end concession in a large department store. On this occasion, I am helping a colleague from another concession with a customer who has spent hundreds of pounds on dozens of items. I begin to fold the items in the way I have been trained, wrapping them in tissue paper.)

Customer: “Stop it. You’re doing it wrong!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, madam, is there a way you would prefer them to be folded?”

Customer: *in an irate tone* “No, let me do it myself.”

(The customer folds up her own items, which I had no problem with until…)

Customer: *angrily* “Don’t be offended.”

Me: “I’m not offended at all; I know everyone has their own particular way they like to fold.”

Customer: “No, you were just doing it wrong. Don’t be offended.”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, madam.”

Customer: “Well, I am older therefore I know better than you. See, now my clothes won’t get creased in the bag. You would have creased them horribly. But, don’t be offended.”

(My colleague tells the customer her total, who then proceeds to rant about how pleased her husband will be that she spent so little, and she deserves much, much more out of him. She then decides she would like to keep the hangers and rams them into the bag with her clothes, crushing them into the bottom of the bag.)

Customer: “You had better not be offended, and you had better learn how to stop clothes creasing!”

(The customer stomps off with her over-full bag.)

Colleague: *to me* “I hope you aren’t offended!”

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