Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Massaging The Truth

| Fairfax, VA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m in the back of our store when I overhear this conversation.)

Customer: *sits down and sighs* “Oh, I’m tired.”

Manager: “Long day?”

Customer: “Well, sort of. I had a massage and a facial, and then I went shopping.”

Undressing Is Stressing

| UT, USA | Bizarre

(I let a woman into fitting room; the customer has several pairs of jeans and some t-shirts. She comes back out a few minutes later:)

Customer: “Well, that wasn’t worth my time! I didn’t realize I’d have to get undressed to try these on!”

You’ll Want To Note This Caller

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Technology

Customer: “I got an angry call from someone saying I left a note with my number on their car after I hit it, but I didn’t do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that happened, but this wouldn’t be a technical problem with your service if someone left a note with your number somewhere.”

Customer: “But I didn’t do it.”

Me: “If we’re talking about a physical note that was left, this isn’t a matter of bad caller ID or anything like that. Someone either lied on a note they left or the caller misread the number.”

Customer: “But isn’t that weird?”

Me: “It is weird, but your phone is fine in this instance.”

Up To 75% Of Customers Won’t Read It

| NY, USA | Bizarre

(We are having a sale on our furniture. The signs all say “up to 75% off” with the “up to” being half the size of the “75% off”. I know it’s a common marketing plot to catch attention, but we still get a lot of customers in each day thinking EVERYTHING is 75% off.)

Customer #1: “Um, excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, did you have a question?”

Customer #1: “So, like, is EVERYTHING 75% off?”

Me: “No, but the furniture pieces that ARE a part of the sale are all marked from 10-75% off. See, this one is 30% off.”

Customer #1: “So… NOTHING is 75% off?”

Me: “…”

Customer #2: “It’s 75% off all furniture?”

Me: “No, sorry. Just a few pieces are 75% off, but most of our items are marked off from 10-75% off.”

Customer #2: “But the sign says 75% off all furniture.”

Me: “No, it says UP TO 75% off SELECT PIECES.”

Customer #2: “Well, that’s misleading.”

Customer #3: “So, is the 75% off the original price of the sale price?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer #3: “Like, is this 75% off the original price, or the 30% off price?”

Me: “Neither. That piece is 30% off. The sale is UP TO 75% off. Some of our pieces are 20% off, some are 50%, 60%, this and this over here are 75% off.”

Customer #3: “Well, that’s just stupid.”

Customer #4: “Hi, I like this. How much is it with the 75% off?”

Me: “That piece isn’t on sale.”

Customer #4: “But it says 75% off.”

Me: “Select pieces. The sale is 10-75% off select pieces. They’re all marked.”

Customer #4: “Well, show me the 75% off ones, then.”

Me: “Certainly. This funky one here is—”

Customer #4: “UGH, ew, no, that’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Customer #5: “Are you going out of business?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer #5: “Why is everything 75% off then?”

Me: “It isn’t. We are having a sale on our furniture and pieces are UP TO 75% off. We’re just trying to make room for new items.”

Customer #5: “Well, that doesn’t make sense to me. But I’m glad you’re not going out of business. I LOVE this store!”

Me: “Were you looking for something specific today?”

Customer #5: “Oh, heavens no. I can’t afford anything in here. But I’m glad you’re not going out of business!”

The Bananas Were Killed Humanely

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My Vietnamese coworker asks me to help a customer as he does not quite understand her question.)

Me: “Hello. What can I help you with today, ma’am?”

Customer: “I was just wondering if there is any chicken, fish, or pork in your banana bread?”

Me: “No… there is no meat of any kind in our banana bread.”

Customer: “I always check. I’m a vegetarian, you know.”

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