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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

An Unrewarding Experience

| St. John's, NL, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work as a supervisor at a grocery store, and we have just launched a new rewards card for the store, and started asking every customer with their order if they want to get the new card. I am called over to this exchange between a cashier:)

Me: “Hi, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Your cashier is trying to track me.”

Me: “Excuse me?” *I exchange glances with my cashier, who is very confused, too*

Customer: “What don’t you understand?”

Me: “How is she trying to track you?”

Customer: “She wants me to sign up for this card so the government can see everything I buy and everywhere I go.”

(I almost start laughing, before I realize he is serious.)

Me: “Sir, this card is just a rewards card for us to keep competitive with [Competitor].”

Customer: “I don’t shop there because they’re trying to track me, too. This government wants to get me. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

(The customer proceeded to walk out of the story, leaving his groceries behind, and I haven’t seen him since.)

Your Parking Skills Are Mud

| QC, Canada | Bizarre, Transportation

(I am working part time directing traffic in the parking lot. The parking lot is a small patch of paved lot, some gravel, but mostly dirt. Because of the season the dirt is actually mud.)

Customer: *pulls up in expensive Mercedes from inside the parking lot* “Excuse me, but are there any spots? I’ve been looking for 45 minutes.”

Me: “Half the parking lot is free.”

Customer: “But all the places left have mud.”

Me: “So? Your car is built for it.”

Customer: “But my wife is wearing [Fancy Shoe Brand].”

(The customer drives back into the parking lot to look for a space, and returns after a few minutes.)

Customer: “Hey, would it be any trouble if I park in that spot?” *points to handicap spot*

Me: “Only if you don’t mind being towed away.”

(Customer drove around for a few more minutes until a spot in the paved area opened. He and his wife walked into the restaurant, only to leave a few minutes later. Their reservation had past.)

Gunning For A Sale

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was calling to see if you sell bullets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: “Do you sell bullets? Like for reloading?”

Me: *thinking maybe he is confused and needs the ‘bullet’ CO2 cartridges we sell for some of our air-powered nailers* “Bullets… as in bullets for guns, or…?”

Customer: “Yes! Bullets! For shooting!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we do not. We sell home improvement items and bullets are not a home improvement item.”

Customer: “…Are you sure?”

Not A Fan Of Your Coldness

| NB, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(A guest approaches the front desk early in the morning to check out. I greet him.)

Me: “Good morning! Checking out, I see; what’s the room number?”

Customer: “It’s room 115.”

Me: “Wonderful, Mr. [Customer], and did you enjoy your stay?”

Customer: “No, I did not, and I think I should be compensated.”

Me: “Oh? I’m so sorry to hear that; what was the problem you had?”

Customer: “There was no heat in the room! I froze all bloody night and barely got any sleep. Why should I have to pay for a room with no heat in February?”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that, sir. I will definitely have this taken care of right away. I just need to know exactly what the problem was. Was the heater running but not producing heat? Was the temperature display on the wall not working?”

Customer: “Oh no, everything was working. I just didn’t have heat.”

Me: “I don’t understand. Did you turn on the heat and increase the temperature and it get any warmer?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. I just pressed the button that said fan and a fan came on and it got cold so I went to bed.”

Me: “Okay… were you not able to turn the fan off or to turn the heat on?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t try.”

Me: “I see. Did you call the front desk to ask for assistance?”

Customer: “NO! I told you, I pressed the button that said fan, the fan came on and it got cold, so I just went to bed.”

Me: “So, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You slept in a room with a fully operational heater, you turned on the fan instead of the heater, made no attempts to correct your own error, and now you want a discount because you were cold.”

Customer: “Well, when you say it like that you make it sound like I’m an idiot.”

That Tipped Her Over The Edge

North Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I’m at a popular Canadian coffee shop waiting in line. This coffee shop does not usually have tip jars available but today there is one at each counter. The older lady waiting in front of me strikes up a conversation.)

Customer: “Look at that! They’ve put tip jars out!”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I guess those aren’t usually there.”

Customer: “I’ve been to…” *lists every franchise in the area* “…and they all have tip jars now, too. The management changed and they are allowing them to put out tip jars!”

Me: “Well, every other coffee shop has tip jars.”

(Before she can reply the lady is called up to the cashier.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’ll have a medium double-double and just so you know I am never coming here ever again!”

Cashier: *obviously taken aback* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why?”

Customer: “You put out tip jars!”

(The customer begins to berate the poor cashier about a decision that clearly wasn’t hers. After about a minute I’ve had enough. I grab a few dollars out of my bag and go up the counter, reach around the crabby customer and throw it in the tip jar.)

Me: “This is for having to deal with her.”

(They finished up their transaction and the woman waited for her order while staring daggers at me. I went up to make my order and the cashier thanked me for standing up for her. I went in there about a week later and lo-and-behold, who did I see? The same cranky old bat! Looked like the tip jars weren’t so offensive after all. Hopefully she was treating the lovely staff there more respectfully… Maybe even throwing in a tip or two – though I doubt it.)

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