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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

A Different Kind Of Stoned

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(As I walk past the restrooms heading back to the manager’s office, a man comes out of the men’s room.)

Customer: “I finally did! I finally passed that son of a gun!”

(The man holds up a wad of toilet paper… with a KIDNEY STONE on it.)

Me: “Oh, God.” *and I quickly duck into the office!*

This Will Not Be A Walk In The Park

| The Netherlands | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

(I’m working as a photographer at a sea-life park, whose big blue dome, where the main dolphin show is held, is its landmark. A lady comes up to me.)

Lady: “Excuse me, but can you tell me how to get in the park?”

Me: *confused* “You’re already in the park.”

Lady: “No, I mean IN the park. Like, inside.”

Me: “Didn’t you just walk through the front gates and paid there? From there on, you’re in the park, on park grounds.”

Lady: “No, in THERE!” *points towards the show dome*

Me: *getting a clue* “Oh, you mean how to get to our show dome? Well, you can’t miss it. The entrance is on this side of the dome. If you just follow the path here, it will lead you straight to it.”

Lady: “Yes, that’s what I meant! How can you think I mean something else? I want to get IN the park!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re already IN the park. This park contains a lot more than only the main dolphin show.”

Lady: “Wait, there’s more?”

(I still wonder why she thought that high entrance price was only for one show!)

Failed The Name Game, Part 2

| CO, USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

(My company handles hardware and software issues for several well known fast food chains. We get a ticket that I need to call the store on to confirm some information.)

Me: “Hello, I’m with [Company], your hardware company. Is the manager on duty available?”

Customer: “Umm, no [Manager] left and [Other Manager] left.”

Me: “Okay. What is your name?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Let me check.”

Related
Failed The Name Game

Think Before You Speak About What You’re Thinking

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work at a store in a mall, and I’m commonly stationed right at the store’s entrance so that I can greet customers, give samples, and tell them about ongoing sales. A male customer walks in.)

Me: “Hello, sir, would you like to try a sample of our [new flavor]?”

Customer: *seemingly saying his thoughts aloud while looking right at me* “She’s pretty…”

Me: “…Please let me know if you need assistance.”

Customer: “I wonder if she has a boyfriend…”

Me: *smiles uncomfortably*

Customer: “Maybe I should ask her…”

(I edge toward the back room of the store, pretending I need to straighten some merchandise.)

Don’t Run Away With Scissors

| OR, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a receptionist in a retail office. We sell a variety of scissors, but have to order most of them. A regular — rather annoying — customer has us order one pair of each type of scissors for her, so she can touch them and decide which pair she wants. They all arrive and she is looking at them.)

Customer: “Well, this is the pair that I wanted! They’re perfect!” *holds up a single pair of scissors, out of several different kinds*

Me: “Awesome!” *beginning to clear away the other products, implying she did not want them*

Customer: *starts smacking the tops of my hands repeatedly* “No! No! No! No! No!”

Me: *I immediately drop the scissors and stare at her in shock* “Um…”

Customer: “OBVIOUSLY, I wanted to look at the rest of them!” *proceeds to examine all the other scissors, then only buy the original pair she liked*

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