Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Only I Have A Bad Feeling About This

| Washington, DC, USA | Bizarre

(The used bookstore where I work has a loading zone for customers that are selling books, which is clearly marked by the striped pavement and a sign that says ‘No Parking: Loading Zone.’ We don’t often have many issues with this, but on this particular day, a business in the same shopping center is having a convention, and the parking lot is packed.)

Customer: “I’m parked in your loading zone.”

Me: “Oh, are you selling books?”

Customer: “No, but the handicapped spot is full.”

Me: “That’s unfortunate; we do need to keep that space free for those customers who are selling books, though, so I’ll have to ask you to move your car.”

(The customer just walks off into the store, so that I have to follow her.)

Me: “Ma’am? Excuse me. I will need you to move your car. Our loading zone is just for those who are unloading books that they’re selling to our store. I can’t allow you to park there while you shop.”

Customer: “NO ONE BUT ME KNOWS HOW I FEEL!”

Me: *confused* “I’m not sure how that’s relevant, but I still need to ask you to move your vehicle.”

Customer: *points to her foot, which is in a walking cast, as if I am disputing that she is handicapped*

Me: “I’m sorry the handicapped spot was taken, but the loading zone is not a handicapped spot; it’s just for loading and unloading. If your vehicle is still parked there in ten minutes, I will have to call a towing company.”

(The customer storms off into the store.)

Customer #2: *who has seen me have to ask two other people not to park in the loading zone in the time that he’s been in the store* “What a day. ‘Only I know how I feel’?”

Me: *lifts my hands in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture before going to look up the number for the towing company*

Doesn’t Get How Working Works

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Bizarre, Time

(The phone rings and I answer.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, so, I know you’re open until 11 pm, but I was just wondering if you’ll still have people there that late.”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry; I don’t follow. We are open to customers until 11.”

Caller: “Yeah, I know, but like, will you still have people still working there then?”

Me: “Oh, uh… yeah?”

Caller: “Okay, cool, thanks.” *click*

(I have to wonder what kinds of stores he’s been to that allow their employees to leave the store unlocked, operating, and open to customers after they clock out and leave!)

A Suction Reduction

| Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Bizarre

(I am a 17-year-old girl. I’ve only been working here for a few weeks, so I’m still not sure about everything we stock and where every item is. A couple in their thirties comes up to me, looking a bit nervous.)

Man: “Do you… uh, have any little suction balls?”

Me: “Um, suction balls?”

Man: “Yeah, you know…” *he mines squeezing something like a turkey baster*

Me: “Oh! I think I know what you mean. We have suction things for cleaning babies’ noses. Is that what you want?”

(The couple exchange looks and start to giggle.)

Wife: “Well, that’s not what we’re going to use it for…”

(I turn around quickly before they can see how red my face has become. I show them what they are looking for, and after they leave I relay the story to my manager.)

Manager: “Yeah, if you’re going to work here during the evening shift you’re going to have to stop asking questions.”

Whatever Ice-Cream Floats Your Boat

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the customer in this one. My siblings, my boyfriend and I go to a fast food joint late at night. Everyone wants ice cream floats! We get to the cashier, everyone orders what they want and now it’s my turn…)

Cashier: “And what kind of pop would you like?”

(I thought all floats were default root beer and vanilla ice cream, so when she asks, my brain is just like NOPE and flat-lines. I don’t know what happened but I just kinda… forgot I was getting a root beer float because the question broke my brain.)

Me: “Uh… Coke?”

Cashier: *looks at me* “… and type of ice cream?”

Me: “Chocolate.”

(My siblings are like, what is wrong with you? I went beet red from embarrassment and everyone, including the cashier, was laughing. I shrug it off and said I was doing it on purpose. It wasn’t awful… but I really wished it was root beer and vanilla. I was totally not drinking or high, but probably made that girl’s night!)

When I Went Down To The Inflatable Pool To Pray…

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre, Religion

(I am a lifeguard at the beach. For the summer, my bosses install a big inflatable circuit where people try to go through without falling. Of course, all the water around it is reserved for the activity; people need to go further to swim in the lake. During the day, a man all dressed in black is entering the restricted water zone. He’s followed by many women, all dressed in white. They start to sing hymns and pray.)

Me: *on the walkie talkie* “Erm… inflatable lifeguard one to manager.”

Manager: *on the walkie talkie* “Manager tuned.”

Me: *trying really hard to speak, I’m laughing so much* “There… is… a… bap… baptising …in the water…”

Manager: “What? Can you repeat?”

Me: “There is a BAPTISING in the inflatable water.”

Manager: “…”

Me: “They are singing and praying. The preacher is baptising every woman, one by one.”

Manager: “I’m… I’m coming…”

(I see all other lifeguards looking and laughing from their chair. Finally, the manager comes after ten minutes. He just leans on the “Denied Access” notice and looks at them, dumbfounded. They finally leave the water, but not before another woman comes up to me, angry.)

Woman: “Soooo, we can baptise in the beach, now?!”

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