Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Marco Polo Isn’t Solo

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Popular

(It’s a somewhat quiet day in my rather large store, and I’m watching the front end. Suddenly a man comes in, looks at me apologetically, and self-consciously walks up to the desk.)

Man: “I’m about to be really annoying, and I apologize in advance, but we don’t have cell phones at the moment and I’m not sure where my wife is.”

Me: “Oh?”

Man: *suddenly steps back and yells as loud as he can* “MARCO!”

Random Customer: *from somewhere in the back of the store* “POLO!”

Me: “Was that her?”

Man: “No, actually. Strange. Guess she isn’t here. Thanks!”

(I laugh and he leaves, but I suddenly hear another voice from deep within the store.)

Random Customer #2: “MARCO!”

Random Customer #3: “POLO!”

Random Kid: “MARCO!”

Random Customer #4: “POLO!”

My Boss: “MARCO!”

Me: “Why not? POLO!”

(By the time we were done, pretty much everyone in the store was laughing. The guy who unintentionally started it all actually came back in a half-hour or so later with his wife. When they were checking out, I told them the story of what happened and he grinned and yelled ‘Marco!’ which started it all anew!)

Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 3

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Money

(I call a customer to collect payment for finished tax return.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], I’m just calling to let you know your tax return is complete and you have a balance of [balance]. Once we collect this amount we will send you your return.”

Customer: “Uh, so I have to pay before you will send me my return?”

Me: “Yes, it is required that we collect payment before sending you the return.”

Customer: “Why? That seems weird. Why can’t you send me my tax return then let me pay you?”

Me: “Uh, because we would risk the chance of customers getting their tax returns and never paying us and the firm would go under…”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll pay… That is just so weird.”

Related:

Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

Too Taxing For Them To Understand

Free Falling

| Gloucester, NJ, USA | Bizarre

(I work at a store that has a rewards program. This allows customers to accumulate money to help pay for purchases. I am checking out two adult women who have enough to pay for a pair of shoes on their order.)

Woman #1: “So, these shoes will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #1: “They are $9.99. They will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #2: “These will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #2: “These shoes will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #1: They will be free?”

Me: “Yes!”

Swan Song

Stillwater, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(As I approach the register, the customer in front of me is just stepping away. His daughter, who appears to be about seven or eight years old, starts informing the cashier of the environmental dangers of plastic bags.)

Girl: “…and if one of them gets into the water it will kill a swan.”

Cashier: *trying to humor her* “Really?”

Girl: “Yes, I’ve seen it happen.”

Dad: *realizing his child is not beside him* “Come on! Leave the cashier alone.”

(The cashier rings up my purchase.)

Cashier: “Would you like a bag with that?”

Me: “Yes. Even though it might kill a swan.”

Cashier: *without missing a beat* “She’s seen it happen.”

Too Bad About Their Friends, The Unicorns

| Beach Haven, NJ, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I am browsing around a store that sells hermit crabs and happen to overhear a customer talking to herself.)

Customer: “Hermit crabs! They’re real!”

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