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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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The Cookies Aren’t The Only Things That Are Baked

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a bakery that sells mainly cupcakes, as well as some cookies. A young male customer smelling strongly of marijuana walks in.)

Customer: “Oh, man, cookies!”

Me: “Yep, cupcakes, too!”

(The man walks around looking at the cookies.)

Customer: “So, where are the chocolate chip cookies?”

Me: “Oh, we actually don’t have any. The closest we’re selling right now is oatmeal raisin chocolate chip.”

Customer: “I thought you had chocolate chip!”

Me: “Well, some of the stock changes seasonally, but we don’t usually do chocolate chip.”

(The man wanders around, apparently still looking for the chocolate chip.)

Customer: “What time do you close tonight?”

Me: “We’re open until 10 pm.”

Customer: “You’ll definitely have chocolate chip by then! Right?”

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Taking Account Of The Name And Number

| Austria | Bizarre

(I work at the accountancy department in an office. The telephone rings.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name]. Good morning.”

Caller: “Hello, Mrs. [My Name]. We had a talk yesterday.”

Me: “Okay, I do not remember our conversation. What was it about?”

Caller: “I called you yesterday and we talked about the confirmation.”

Me: *absolutely not remembering said conversation* “Okay, ma’am, I do not really know which kind of confirmation you are talking about. Are you sure you were talking to me yesterday?”

Caller: “I’m absolutely sure. Your name is [My Name], right?”

Me: “That’s right, but I cannot remember a conversation about any kind of confirmation.”

Caller: *getting slightly impatient* “We were talking about my husband’s proof of citizenship.”

Me: *completely confused since this is absolutely no part of my job as an accountant* “Are you sure you didn’t talk to somebody in the human resources department?”

Caller: “No, I’m sure I talked to you, Miss [My Name]. You are Miss [My Name] who works at the local city council, right?”

Me: “Oh, the name is right, but you are currently talking to [My Name], finances and accounting, [Company].”

Caller: “Oh, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I’m absolutely sure. You may have dialed the wrong number.”

Caller: “But a nice lady put me through to you!”

Me: “I assume you said you wanted to be put through to Miss [My Name], so our receptionist put you through to me since this is my name.”

Caller: “Okay, I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Bye.”

Me: “It’s no problem, ma’am. Bye.”

(I looked up the phone number of the city council and it is completely different from my company’s phone number. I have no clue how this happened.)

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Doesn’t Want Her Hair Getting Wet?

| IL, USA | Bizarre

(Several coworkers and I are sitting in the front office of the water park when a customer comes in. She approaches the desk.)

Customer: “Do ya’ll have any scissors?”

Coworker: “Sure” *hands them over*

(The women then proceeds to cut off half of her pigtail braids before tossing the scissors back across the desk and walking out to the park. The manager looks at us and says:)

Manager: “Did that just happen?”

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Get The Man In Brown Before She Becomes The Woman In Brown

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(During my first month working at my father’s sports bar I encounter a super-drunk woman in the bathroom while I am cleaning.)

Customer: *hugs me, speaking in a toddler voice*  “Can you help me? When older girls like me drink we get silly. I went to go potty and I sat down to go pee-pee and I forgot to pull down my undies.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Just look for the man in brown and say I need him.”

Me: “I think I’m gonna need more of a description than that.”

Customer: “MY HUSBAND! HE’S IN BROWN!”

Me: *incredibly startled* “Okay, can I have a name or a table number?”

(Eventually I tracked down the man, guided him to his pee-soaked wife, and got them out of the restaurant.)

Coworker: “Did I just hear that some lady pissed herself and then hugged you?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, you did.”

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Not Quite Married To The Reading Material

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I’m a female bookstore employee in my mid 20s. While walking through the store, a customer approaches me and asks for help finding a book for her 15-year-old son. After discussing a couple titles, I am able to recommend a book for her. Afterwards, she tries to strike up a conversation…)

Customer: “You know, I just don’t understand why he doesn’t read anymore. He used to love to read, now he says he hates it.”

Me: “Well, you know, when I was about that age, I stopped enjoying reading so much because I didn’t like the assigned reading. I didn’t like being told what to read. Maybe that’s what he thinks, too?”

Customer: “Oh, I see… and are you still like that? Do you still have that independent streak?”

Me: “Uh… well… Now that I work in a bookstore, I can—”

Customer: “No, I mean in your personal life.”

Me: *stammering* “Um… I guess? Sort of?”

Customer: “Oh, dear, no. That’s not good marriage material. You can’t be like that, you know…” *winks and nudges me, chuckling*

Me: *stunned, muttering* “Well, good thing that’s not in my life plan to begin with… Enjoy your book!”

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