Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!


The Computer Has A Lot Of Bugs

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Technology

(We take calls from people who’ve purchased protection plans..)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Team]! My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Yeah, uh, I got a message from y’all’s service center that said they can’t repair my [Console].”

Me: “Oh, gosh, sorry about that. Mind if I put you on hold for a quick minute or two? I’ll see what notes they’ve left on that.”

(I put the caller on hold and when I check his file, the service center first told us that it was “unsanitary” to repair. When I keep reading, I find out that the center refused to service the Console because of a cockroach infestation. I took an extra 30 seconds to compose myself and try to find a way to gently break this to the customer.)

Me: “Hi! Thanks for holding; sorry for the wait. Um, there’s no easy way to say this but, uh… the service center denied repairs because it was unsanitary.”

Customer: “What? What does that mean?”

Me: “They said that there was a… cockroach… infestation.”

(The customer stays silent for a little while. It’s important to note that the customer originally filed a claim because the Consoleq was overheating.)

Customer: “Well, uh… what, what if I cleaned it out? Can I send it back in then?”

Me: “Well, I’m not entirely sure we’d be able to accept that, but you can certainly try! Maybe that’ll even solve your heating issue.”

(Customer thanked me and hung up. A few weeks later, one of my coworkers got a call from the same guy. They had to forward the call to our supervisor, who then proceeded to tell him that unless he could send us a copy of the invoice from when the Console was professionally cleaned, we would continue to refuse service on his infested Console!)


Religion: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Religion

(I work at a local health food store with a religious-sounding name. We often get people mistaking us for a charity, a bible store, or a particular national Christian newsletter that shares our name. I have just answered a phone call.)

Caller: “Do you have gifts?”

Me: *thinking I may have misheard something* “What’s that again, ma’am?”

Caller: “Gifts. G-I-F-T-S. Do you have gifts?”

Me: “What kind of gifts do you mean?”

Caller: “Let me spell it for you. G… I… F as in Frank…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand ‘gifts,’ I’m just not sure what sort of gifts you’re looking for.”

Caller: “I’m looking for a picture of Jesus.”

Me: “Oh! Sorry, ma’am, we’re a health food store.”

Caller: “I know!”


Has An A-Gender With The DNA

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I help manage a small clinic that does various types of tests. Today, we receive a very bizarre phone call.)

Client: “Hello. Do you do DNA testing?”

Me: “Yes, we do DNA testing. Do you need a test that is admissible in court?”

Client: “No. I just want to know if you do DNA testing.”

Me: “Yes. We do DNA tests.”

Client: “I get that. I just want to know if you do DNA testing.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am, but what in particular are you needing with the DNA? I guess I am just not understanding what in particular you need.”

Client: “You know. DNA. I need a test for DNA. I’m pregnant and I’m having a baby boy. I need a DNA test. I need you to tell me the gender of my baby.”

Me: “Oh. You just need a test to verify the gender?”

Client: “No. I need to find out if it’s a boy or girl. I’m pregnant with a baby boy and I need to know if it’s a boy or girl.”

Me: “Umm… I see. I’m sorry, ma’am, but we do not do gender tests here.”

Client: “But you do DNA. You can tell me the gender of my baby before it is born.”

Me: “No. I’m sorry. We can do DNA to find out who the father is but, we do not do gender-typing on an unborn baby. Your gynecologist can help with that.”

Client: “Oh. Thank you.”

(I’m still not entirely certain what it was she needed.)

Ordered The Chef’s Special

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m working the lunch shift in a downtown farm-to-table restaurant. We get a wide range of customers, from college kids and professors, to ladies who lunch. I’ve seated a normal casually dressed man, and one of my servers goes to help him.)

Server: *to me* “There’s something weird about him. He’s not making sense and doesn’t seem to want to place an order.”

Me: “That’s weird. He seemed pretty normal when I sat him. I’ll go talk to him.” *to customer* “Sir, can I start you with something to drink today?”

Customer: *unintelligible mumbling*

Me: “Okay, then. If you don’t wish to place an order today, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: *more mumbles*

Me: “I’ll have to ask you to leave; the dining room is just for our customers. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself, but you need to leave.”

(I step away from the table and am walking across the dining room towards the server when she sees something behind me.)

Server: “No, sir! Please be careful! White Coats, I need the White Coats!”

(The customer had picked up a fork and was trying to stick it in an outlet behind the host station. I strong-armed him out of the building while the server got the “White Coats” as backup. The White Coats were our kitchen staff, all wearing chef coats. A wall of them made great backup. The customer wandered away while I called the police. They eventually picked him up; he was off his meds and harassing local shops.)

Unable To Please You

| Lancashire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

(I am a cashier. Two customers approach the counter; one of them has an item of fruit.)

Customer #1: “Is this [price #1]?”

Me: “No, sir, it’s [price #2].”

Customer #2: *in a stern tone* “Please.”

Me: “…sorry?”

Customer #1: “So you should be. You say please when you tell me the price.”

Me: “It’s [price #2]… please?”

Customer #2: “That’s better.” *to Customer #1* “Don’t they teach people manners these days?”

(They put down the fruit and walk off.)

Me: “But… I… I was answering a question.”

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