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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Throw Your Claws In The Air Like You Just Don’t Care

| Shrewsbury, England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A very softly spoken and serious middle-aged man approaches me.)

Customer: “Hello, do you have any stickers featuring aquatic life?”

Me: “Umm… we have some of those 3D gel stickers for windows. One set is a sea-themed one.”

Customer: “Excellent. Do they have any crustaceans?”

Me: “Uh, I’m pretty sure there’s a crab sticker in that pack.”

Customer: “And what position is the crab in?”

Me: “I… err… a common crab position, I believe? With its claws in the air?”

Customer: “Okay. Could you please direct me to these stickers?”

(I did. He bought them. He seemed pleased enough.)

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Getting Her Live Buzz Feed

| Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My store sold chocolate liqueurs for a while. I’m lazing behind the counter one day when a shirtless woman in a sports bra staggers in. She mutters to herself as she circles the store, then stops at the counter and silently STARES at the liqueurs for several long moments.)

Woman: “Nah… I’m buzzed enough already!”

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It’s A Deal-Breaker

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer comes up to my register with four clearance items.)

Customer: “These were in the clearance bin; the sticker says they used to be $17 but now they’re $9.”

Me: “No problem.” *scans item and discovers they’re actually $4 and used to be $8* “Oh, turns out they’re only $4. They must’ve been labelled incorrectly.”

Customer: “Really? How much were they before?”

Me: “$8.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Never mind, then. $4 off isn’t as good as $8. I thought I was getting a better deal.” *leaves*

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Things To Make You Say ‘Man!’

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I am trans-masculine and have been on testosterone for about eight months. Our company has a service that allows us to serve clients via the Internet, so all they know is the name of the person serving them. One such client calls in. I pick up the phone upon being told he’s one of mine.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, [My Name]! You don’t sound like a woman!”

(I don’t say anything, thinking this is just an offhand observation. He doesn’t say anything either. It becomes clear this is something he expects me to actually address.)

Me: “Uh-huh?”

Client: “Oh, now you do! So anyway…”

(I was up-talking that last time.)

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He Paid Attention

| Lafayette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Popular

(A young boy, around ten, walks into the store and grabs a piece of candy directly from the bins, holding it in his hand as he looks at other candies.)

Me: “Put it in a bag, please.”

Boy: “Huh?”

Me: *indicating the candy in his hand* “You need to put it in a bag so you can get it weighed and pay for it.”

Boy: “Oh. I wasn’t going to pay for it.”

Me: “Then you can’t have it.”

(I hold my hand out to him and he comes up and hands me the candy, obviously confused that he wasn’t allowed to just take whatever he wanted. I just wish adults were so well behaved when it came to not getting free candy!)

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