Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

When I Went Down To The Inflatable Pool To Pray…

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre, Religion

(I am a lifeguard at the beach. For the summer, my bosses install a big inflatable circuit where people try to go through without falling. Of course, all the water around it is reserved for the activity; people need to go further to swim in the lake. During the day, a man all dressed in black is entering the restricted water zone. He’s followed by many women, all dressed in white. They start to sing hymns and pray.)

Me: *on the walkie talkie* “Erm… inflatable lifeguard one to manager.”

Manager: *on the walkie talkie* “Manager tuned.”

Me: *trying really hard to speak, I’m laughing so much* “There… is… a… bap… baptising …in the water…”

Manager: “What? Can you repeat?”

Me: “There is a BAPTISING in the inflatable water.”

Manager: “…”

Me: “They are singing and praying. The preacher is baptising every woman, one by one.”

Manager: “I’m… I’m coming…”

(I see all other lifeguards looking and laughing from their chair. Finally, the manager comes after ten minutes. He just leans on the “Denied Access” notice and looks at them, dumbfounded. They finally leave the water, but not before another woman comes up to me, angry.)

Woman: “Soooo, we can baptise in the beach, now?!”

Don’t Baby-Talk Me

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

(Working in a hospital’s restaurant, I get asked where a lot of things are, most of the time where ER and the main doors are. The creepiest thing I’ve been asked is:)

Visitor: “So, where are the babies?”

Children Of The Corn Sandwich

| USA | Bizarre

(I’m working at a coffee shop in a larger department store. We have a problem customer who comes in multiple time a day on weekends. He’s not aggressive, but he’s usually high.)

Customer: “How much are those sandwiches?”

Me: “Most of our sandwiches are $6.84.”

Customer: “I don’t want anyone to know. Those kids, they know I’m buying sandwiches. They always know.”

(There are no children present.)

Me: *getting confused* “We put the sandwich in a bag.”

Customer: “No, the kids always know. They’re very smart. What if I get a gift card? Then they won’t know! Give me a gift card for the sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $6.84. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Are you sure they won’t know? I don’t want the kids to know about my sandwich.”

Me: “Uh, no, I don’t think they’ll know about it.”

(He bought a gift card for the exact price of the sandwich, and then used it to pay for his sandwich, all while going on about “the kids always know.”)

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “Weed. That was about weed.”

Let Them Eat Cake

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m a young African-American man who is working at the dessert bar at the restaurant. An elderly lady walks up to the bar and selects a slice of cake.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you today?”

Lady: “Good, good. Say, do you have any smaller slices of this cake?”

Me: “No, sorry. All of the cakes are pre-cut in the back.”

Lady: “Oh, all right. I would just hate to waste.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. Tell you what, I can get a knife and cut that piece in half for you?”

Lady: “Oh, yes, please. I’d hate to waste, you know, with all the American children out there starving. Did you grow-up starving? I’m sure you did.”

Me: “Haha, no, ma’am.” *in my head* “THIS B****.”

Car-Tipping

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Transportation

(It’s late at night, and I’m out delivering pizza. I’m driving a relatively small car.)

Customer #1: “Oh, what a cute car! [Customer #2], come look at it!”

(Customer #2 comes out to look.)

Customer #1: “Can we take a picture of it?”

Me: “I guess.”

Customer #2: “Take a picture of me on it!”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

(The next door neighbor now opens their door.)

Neighbor: “I’ll take the picture!”

(Customer #1, Customer #2, and Neighbor run down to my car. Customer #2 then lies on top of it, for Neighbor to take pictures of.)

Customer #1: “We’re not tipping you enough for this, are we?”

Me: *having given up on existence, just shrugs*

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