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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Time To Drop The Dead Donkey

| USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I used to work at a pet store. One day during my second month on the job, a woman walks in and taps me on the shoulder while I am stocking pet food.)

Woman: “Excuse me, what is your largest size for pet shock collars?”

Me: “Our biggest size is about [collar size].”

Woman: “Would that be large enough to fit a donkey?”

(A nearby coworker of mine heard the conversation and walked over.)

Coworker: “Why do you need a shock collar for a donkey?”

Woman: “My neighbor’s donkey keeps getting into my yard and eating my flowers. I already put an electric fence out, now I just need a collar for the donkey.”

Me: “Can’t you just tell your neighbor that their donkey is eating your flowers?”

Woman: “NO! That’s extremely rude, and besides, my neighbor doesn’t speak English!”

Coworker: “Uhh… okay. We could probably find a size if we saw how big the donkey is.”

Woman: “All right.”

(She uses her phone to show us a picture of a plastic yard decoration that looks like a donkey. This woman is obviously on some kind of medication.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a decoration, not a real donkey. Your flowers are probably being eaten by rabbits or insects.”

Woman: “ARE YOU F****** BLIND?! THAT IS CLEARLY A LIVING DONKEY! HOW COULD RABBITS POSSIBLY EAT MY FLOWERS? I CAST A PROTECTIVE SPELL AROUND MY GARDEN!”

Me: “Maybe you should’ve cast a donkey-proof spell…”

Grand Theft Innocence: Part 13

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Me: “[Store], thanks for calling. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, do you guys sell games?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir, as well as consoles and accessories.”

Customer: “Woah, that’s so cool, man. Hey, do you guys have GTA: Vice City?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir. We have both new and used copies.”

Customer: “Cool man. Is there somewhere I can meet you to pick this up?”

Me: “Our store is located at [Address]. You can just come here and get it, but we’re closing in half an hour.”

Customer: “No, no, man, ya gotta meet me somewhere halfway.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t leave the store with unpaid merchandise. Maybe it would be better if you just came here tomorrow; we open at 9:30.”

Customer: “Okay, okay, I got a spot we can meet. I’ll be at [some alley lane I’ve never heard of] in half an hour. Bring the game.” *click*

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 12
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 11
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10

Ordering Books Not By The Book(store)

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Popular

(I work as customer service for an online bookstore that also has a physical store.)

Caller: “Hi, what’s your website? I want to buy books.”

Me: “I’ll spell it for you. It’s [Site].”

Caller: “Could you repeat that? I need to write it down so I can take it to [Cell Phone Provider] and ask them to order for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I must’ve heard wrongly. I thought you said [Cell Phone Provider].”

Caller: “That’s what I said!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think they provide those services.”

Caller: “Oh, I know. But I’m a paying customer and an old lady. I’ll just make a fuss until they help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can help you order over the phone right now. I also see by your area code that you live near the store. You can come in to our store instead for help.”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. It’s okay; they’ll help me. What was the site?”

Me: “Well, it’s [Site], but you aren’t bothering me. This is actually my job, so I can help you.”

Caller: “Nonsense, you sound like a busy girl. Thanks!” *hangs up*