Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Has Something Else In Store

| Glens Falls, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer approaches at the checkout.)

Me: “Hi, you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you have a store card?”

Customer: “Yes…” *stops, looking up and around, seeming very bewildered* “What store is this? This isn’t [Store], is it?”

Me: “Yes, this is [Store.]”

Customer: “Huh… I could have sworn this was [Competitor Store]. I’m going to go there. Things are cheaper there.”

Me: “Okay, then… Have a nice day.”

(I’m still not sure how she missed the giant red signs on the main building and the driveway.)

Unable To Register With Some Customers

| ID, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

My first day on the job, it is our grand opening. I had even helped build the store. I am standing at the register waiting for customers to arrive. For a grand opening it’s pretty slow.)

Trainer: “Okay, so the goal is to get people registered in our system, so always ask for a name, email, and phone number. It also helps them get the sales price on items. You may override the system but only in special circumstances.”

(A grumpy looking elderly man walks up to register. I already didn’t want to ask but I do because the trainer is there.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess so.”

Me: “Do you have a savings card with us yet?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well, would you like to get enrolled to get the sales price?”

Customer: “So, I won’t get the sales price without it?”

Me: “No. It doesn’t take very long. It’s just a phone number, and your name and email are optional.”

Customer: “I don’t want to give my information out; do you know where all this information goes?”

Me: “Uhm… no.” *thinking maybe he is worried about theft*

Customer: “The government. They use our numbers and emails in your system to monitor and track us down.”

(At this the point the trainer is very concerned and is still trying to convince the man to sign up.)

Trainer: “Sir, I assure you, we don’t give your information out to anyone.”

Customer: “YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, BUT IT’S TRUE! THEY HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME AND THEY’RE WAITING IN A WHITE VAN TO GRAB ME!”

Trainer: *looks at me and sighs* “Just go ahead and override it.”

(This was my very FIRST customer.)

Fire Doesn’t Work

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Holidays

(It is the 4th of July and we close at 10 pm. A regular couple has been sitting in the lobby eating for 30 minutes after close. All the employees have been listening to the fireworks explode right over our heads, as the show is just down the block.)

Customers: *gets up to leave, sees a firework* “Oh, is that what those sounds are?”

Me: “…”

Very Sharp Humor

| Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(I’m the cashier. In the middle of scanning and bagging various items for a guest, she asks if I have scissors to remove a tag. I look at her, and just let my eyes glaze over, and drop my voice a bit.)

Me: “I’m sorry, they don’t let me play with sharp pointy objects anymore.”

(The customer actually stepped back a bit, and I smile.)

Me: “No, really. We can’t have blades or sharp things on the checkout lane; you’ll have to go to customer services to get them to cut off your tags.”

(I did that line several more times over the years and the hardest part was keeping a straight face. Freaked people out every time I could pull it off!)

A Uniform Response, Part 2

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bizarre

(I have just got off a twelve-hour day, and two-hour meeting, so I am stopping at an Italian restaurant to collect some dinner. I am tired, but also wearing full uniform, which states where I work, and has our logo emblazoned on every item of clothing, including my scarf and handbag. It is very obvious that I work for a travel agency, and not for this restaurant. The staff are all wearing bright red aprons which are starkly opposite my dark navy blue uniform.)

Waitress: “What can I get you?”

Me: *places order*

Waitress: “That’s awesome, and will be 10 minutes. Do you mind taking a seat in our waiting area?”

(I take a seat and start reading a magazine. I am barely awake, and it’s very obvious.)

Customer #1: “Hey! You aren’t allowed to sleep here! Get back to work!”

(The noise has jolted me from my daze and I wonder who they are talking to.)

Customer #1: “Ring up my bill! And give me your manager’s name! I can’t believe you have the audacity to sleep on the job!”

Me: “Sorry? I don’t work here. ”

Customer #1: “You’re wearing a uniform!”

Waitress: “Ma’am! I’ll ring up your order. This lady is another customer. She’s just waiting for a takeaway.”

Customer #1: “Well, if she doesn’t work here, she shouldn’t be wearing a uniform!”

(The waitress assists the customer, and tries to scoot her out the door, but not before she stops to give me a literal finger wagging.)

Waitress: “I’m so sorry. Your order won’t be much longer. I’m not sure why she thought you were staff!”

(A few minutes pass, and my order is ready. I go up to pay and collect my food. I am second in line. There is a large jar of candy for customers to take a few when they are paying.)

Customer #2: *turning to me* “Am I allowed to take these?”

Me: “I don’t work here. I don’t know.”

Customer #2: “Oh! You don’t work here?”

Me: “NO.”

Customer #2: “Then why are you wearing a uniform?”

(Thankfully at this stage my order was done, and I was able to leave. I still heard the “Why doesn’t she work here?” echoing as I ran!)

Page 34/280First...3233343536...Last