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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Ordering Books Not By The Book(store)

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Popular

(I work as customer service for an online bookstore that also has a physical store.)

Caller: “Hi, what’s your website? I want to buy books.”

Me: “I’ll spell it for you. It’s [Site].”

Caller: “Could you repeat that? I need to write it down so I can take it to [Cell Phone Provider] and ask them to order for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I must’ve heard wrongly. I thought you said [Cell Phone Provider].”

Caller: “That’s what I said!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think they provide those services.”

Caller: “Oh, I know. But I’m a paying customer and an old lady. I’ll just make a fuss until they help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can help you order over the phone right now. I also see by your area code that you live near the store. You can come in to our store instead for help.”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. It’s okay; they’ll help me. What was the site?”

Me: “Well, it’s [Site], but you aren’t bothering me. This is actually my job, so I can help you.”

Caller: “Nonsense, you sound like a busy girl. Thanks!” *hangs up*

Really Rhea-lly Honest

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(An older gentleman comes into my section of the store late one afternoon. We’ve been very slow, so I’m excited to have something to do. The following conversation ensues:)

Me: *smiling* “Hello, sir! How are you today?”

Customer: *grumbles* “Eh, I’ve seen better days.”

Me: “Aw… it can’t be—”

Customer: “I woke up at four am with diarrhea.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “But at least it wasn’t gonorrhea!”

Me: “…That’s true. Let me get you those copies.”

(After being in retail for three-and-a-half years, I honestly don’t know if some people have a filter!)

As Clear As Glass

| Levittown, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

Me: *working on the zone, organizing the wall of Windex bottles*

Guest: *walks up behind me* “Sir, can I ask you a question?”

Me: *I turn around, my back to the Windex* “Certainly.” *with as sincere as a smile as I can muster*

Guest: “Could you tell me where I could find the Windex?”

Me: *having had situations much like this, but the sheer absurdity of this caught me off guard as I silently point my thumb right behind me*