Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

They’re A Few Chapters Short Of A Novel

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading

(A woman walks into the store and looks around as though she’s lost and confused.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “What kind of store is this?”

Me: *looks around at books everywhere* “Um, this is a bookstore.”

Customer: *looks amazed and points to the books on the shelf nearest* “So, these… are books?”

Me: *a bit confused* “Yes.”

(I keep an eye on the woman as she wanders deeper into the store, looking around bewildered. She stops as she approaches the counter toward the back of the store and points to our sign that reads “More Books This Way” with an arrow pointing upstairs.)

Customer: “MORE BOOKS?!”

Me: “Yes, we have children’s books and board games upstairs.”

(The customer looked at me for a second.)

Customer: *yelling* “I CAN’T HANDLE IT!” *runs out the front door*

The Flowers Were Either Red Or Blue

| USA | Bizarre, Politics

(I’m delivering flowers and it’s obvious by the big bouquet that I’m carrying. I go to ring the doorbell of one house, and no one answers. I call up the customer’s number, but no one answers. My boss always yells at me if I return with them, so I keep trying. I see two eyes peep at me from a curtain and disappear, and I can see a car parked in the garage, so I know that someone’s home. As a last resort, I decide to just leave the flowers, but then the door opens.)

Woman: “Oh!”

Me: “Flowers for [Name].”

Woman: “Sorry, I thought that you were one of those political people!” *takes bouquet* “Who wouldn’t want these?” *shuts door*

(I guess political people are carrying flowers now?)

Unable To Face His Small Reality

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work in the smallest size category location of a national chain. I hear Customer #1 and Customer #2 talking to each other across the aisle from me.)

Customer #1: “…don’t even have an upstairs or nothing?”

Customer #2: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer #1: “Is this all there is?” *gestures vaguely at the store in general*

Me: “Yup, we’re the smallest possible size [Store].”

Customer #2: “So you don’t have like comforter sets or anything?”

Me: “Not here in the store. We can order them for you, and the bigger stores carry them, but we only have clothing, accessories, shoes, and jewelry in this location.”

Customer #1: “So where’s the nearest REAL [Store]?”

(I gave the customers the names of two towns, both an hour’s drive away, that have locations with the kind of merchandise they were looking for. But I WANTED to say, “This IS a real [Store]! I get a paycheck and everything!”)

Not Talking About An Auto Dealer

| UK | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in admin for local authority parking enforcement. It’s a 50/50 split between making sure people paid their legitimate fines, and catching errors/fakes by incompetent or dishonest wardens. Part of the job is chasing down people who have outstanding fines for long periods. We obtain address details from the DVLA and make contact. Usually they call us after getting an intimidating letter. This young-sounding woman is one such. She sounds…distracted. Bear in mind that she is calling local government.)

Caller: “I got this letter saying I owe money for a parking fine but that’s not my car.”

Me: “You’re on record as the registered keeper.”

Caller: “Really? What car is it?”

Me: *make/model/colour/registration*

Caller: “Oh, yeah. That was mine. I haven’t got it now, though. I only had it a few days then I gave it to my dealer.”

Me: “Your dealer?”

Caller: “Yeah, my dealer. I traded it to him for drugs. You know how it is. I gave him that car for drugs. So, it’s his fine.”

Me: “Right… Well… You should probably tell the DVLA you don’t own the car anymore.”

Caller: “What…?”

(The weirdest part for me was the way she kept saying she was buying ‘drugs’. Somehow I wouldn’t have expected someone buying illegal narcotics to phrase it like that.)

We’re Living In A Bag Dystopia

| KY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer’s to-go order.)

Me: “Would you like a bag for all that?”

Customer: “Oh, do you have bags?”

Me: “Y-yes. Would you like one?”

Customer: “Ooh, could I have one?”

Me: “Um, sure.”

(I guess it sounded too good to be true.)

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