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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Things To Make You Say ‘Man!’

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I am trans-masculine and have been on testosterone for about eight months. Our company has a service that allows us to serve clients via the Internet, so all they know is the name of the person serving them. One such client calls in. I pick up the phone upon being told he’s one of mine.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, [My Name]! You don’t sound like a woman!”

(I don’t say anything, thinking this is just an offhand observation. He doesn’t say anything either. It becomes clear this is something he expects me to actually address.)

Me: “Uh-huh?”

Client: “Oh, now you do! So anyway…”

(I was up-talking that last time.)

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He Paid Attention

| Lafayette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Popular

(A young boy, around ten, walks into the store and grabs a piece of candy directly from the bins, holding it in his hand as he looks at other candies.)

Me: “Put it in a bag, please.”

Boy: “Huh?”

Me: *indicating the candy in his hand* “You need to put it in a bag so you can get it weighed and pay for it.”

Boy: “Oh. I wasn’t going to pay for it.”

Me: “Then you can’t have it.”

(I hold my hand out to him and he comes up and hands me the candy, obviously confused that he wasn’t allowed to just take whatever he wanted. I just wish adults were so well behaved when it came to not getting free candy!)

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Pooling All Their Resources

| Norfolk, England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Customer: *looking through the doors at the pool* “Is that your pool?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Do you have another one?”

Me: “No.”

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Looking For A REAL Man

| UK | Bizarre

(Two very obviously high female customers walk up to the till I’m operating.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer #1: “Wow, I love this place; it’s so real.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, none of that fake Hollywood Illuminati s***!”

(Customers still have not put any items on the counter.)

Me: “Do you have anything you want to buy?”

Customer #1: “You know, it’s like, everyone here is like so real, like this man here.” *points at me* “This is a real man.”

(Customer #1 proceeds to try and grab at my shirt.)

Customer #2: “Hello, real man!” *half bows at me* “May I kiss your hand?”

Me: “Do you have anything you wish to purchase? If not, I need to ask you to move away so I can serve the next customer.”

(Customer #2 proceeds to grab my hand and kiss it.)

Customer #1: “Goodbye, real man!”

(The customers walked away, waving at me.)

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Retail Makes You Unbreakable

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Money

(The video game store in the mall I work at isn’t very big and we usually only have two people working at any given time. Since it is slow I decide to take my lunch break and am sitting in the back room eating when a customer slaps open the door to the backroom that is clearly marked “Employees Only”.)

Customer: “Hey! Can I get some help out here?”

(I’m immediately annoyed that he came in our back room and that he’s asking for help while I’m off the clock, but I figure that if he was desperate enough to do that, the sales floor must have gotten extremely busy while I was eating, and decide that I don’t want to leave my coworker stranded with all those customers. So I offer to help and come out to the sales floor. When I get out there I see that there is actually only one other customer in the store, whom my coworker is busy helping. But still, I manage to keep a smile on as I follow Customer to our video game accessories section.)

Customer: “Yeah, I wanted to know how much this controller is.”

(I point to the clearly marked price on the front of the package.)

Me: “It’s $49.99.”

(The customer points a thumb in the general direction of my coworker.)

Customer: “Yeah, that’s what he said when I asked him.”

Me: “You asked him too?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I didn’t believe him.”

(Losing my patience now.)

Me: “Well, the price on the price tag is the actual price.”

Customer: *disbelievingly* “Okay….”

(I turned around and went right back to the back room and my lunch. The real kicker? The controller he was asking about was a name brand controller which has the prices set by the video game company that makes them, so they are the same price at pretty much every store that sells them!)

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