Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Should Have Had A Measure Of Common Sense

| Hickory, NC, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I work in a shoe store, where we get some pretty unbelievable customers. My manager has just been approached by an elderly lady.)

Manager: “Welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not happy with these shoes.”

Manager: “I’m sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “I bought these at your store in [City an hour away]. The man measured my feet, but when I brought them home they didn’t fit! I need to return them.”

Manager: “Did you try them on when you bought them?”

Customer: “Of course not. He measured my feet.”

Manager: *after a pause* “Okay. So what size would you like instead?”

Customer: *now in a huff* “Well, why don’t you do your job and measure my feet and tell me!”

(My manager finds her some shoes, which she doesn’t try on, and rings her up before turning to me.)

Manager: “Are you f****** kidding me?”

Talking Baloney About Salami

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I’m the manager of a small local deli. It’s known for unusual cuts of meat, as well as your regular ones. One day a more than eager customer comes in.)

Customer: “Hey, buddy, I want some llama meat.”

Me: “I’m sorry…? Llama meat?”

Customer: “Yeah, my son gets it from here for me every week. Llama meat! You have unusual meat here, and I want some llama meat! Are you new or something?”

Me: “Sir, I’ve worked here for almost a year, and I can assure you we’ve never stocked such an item; in fact, I’m pretty sure hunting llamas is illegal.”

Customer: “No, listen, you little twit! Llama meat! I put it on my sandwiches! See, right there! You have little circles of it, Salamo meat!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? Could you repeat that?”

Customer: “Llama meat! Salamo meat, whatever! I put it on my sandwiches and it’s red and spicy! Salamo llama meat!”

Me: *putting two and two together* “Do you mean salami? It’s red and comes in circles, and ours is spicy.”

Customer: “Yes, salami! Llama salami salamo meat! Don’t you know anything? God!” *storms out*

That Question Is On Thin Ice

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in the cafe of a national chain bookstore, where customers can help themselves to free ice water at the condiments counter.)

Me: *tidying up the condiments*

Customer: “Excuse me. Is this real ice?”

Me: “…what’s fake ice?”

Not Receiving The Right Answer

| Englewood, CO, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I am ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, okay.” *hands him receipt*

Customer: “Oh. I meant yeah as in ‘no’.”

Me: “Ah, yes, I also mean the exact opposite of what I say.”

Her Facebook Is Going Down The Toilet (Paper)

| Mena, AR, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I am usually a cashier, but, in some circumstances when the business is slow, a manager will ask me to put up things that were left behind at registers. I’m busy returning some toiletries to the toilet paper aisle when I see a woman staring indecisively at a package of toilet paper in her hand.)

Woman: “Hmmm.”

(She places the package into her buggy and continues to stare.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?”

Woman: “Oh, no! I’m fine.”

(She turns away from me and pulls her cellphone out of her back pocket. Quickly, she snaps a photo of the toilet paper lying in her cart.)

Woman: “Wow, that’s a good picture! I’m going to put it on Facebook.”

(Pleased with herself, she smiled and threw the package back onto the shelf. I, confused, moved along with my returns, shaking my head in disbelief.)

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