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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Well I’ll Be Ducked!

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am helping someone on the phone register themselves as a chaperone for summer camp. Everything is going just fine, until…)

Me: “Okay, sir, I need the date of your last tetanus shot. I understand it may be out of date but I have to enter a date to get your registration finished. Most likely the last time you had one would have been going into seventh grade unless you had to have one for a medical reason.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I had a medical reason… I just can’t remember off the top of my head. Let me ask my wife.” *in background* “Honey, when was I bitten by that duck?”

(Luckily, I was able to mute the phone while I laughed and the wife got him a date. How on earth are you bitten by a duck and why does that result in a tetanus shot?!)

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A Transference Of Skills

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre

(I work at a well-known chain of supermarkets; however, this story takes place at a well-known hardware store. The two stores are completely different. I am shopping at said hardware place one day.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have anymore of the drill sets that are on special this week out the back?”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I don’t actually work here.”

(The guy looked me up and down and laughed.)

Customer: “I am so sorry. I recognized you from [Supermarket where I work] and forgot where I actually was shopping. Sorry.”

Me: “No problem.”

(This has now become a recurring joke between this guy and me whenever we see each other around town. He actually has a great sense of humor.)

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A Barrier To Business

| SD, USA | Bizarre

(While working after hours in the bakery, I notice a thoughtful-looking customer looking at the bakery’s front counter. It’s also the first time I have to assist a customer here.)

Me: *approaching* “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: *indicating an item on our counter shelf* “Yes, I’d like these carrot cupcakes, please.”

Me: *simply grabbing them* “These? Just the one box?”

Customer: “Oh, I thought there was a glass barrier here! Well, thank you anyway…”

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The Oprah Code

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading

(I’m working as a cashier. It’s late in the evening and things are slowing down for the night, so the other cashiers and I stand at the end of our lanes and chat with browsing customers until they’re ready to check out. There’s a rack of DVDs at the end of my lane, and an older customer stops to ask my opinion on some of them. I vaguely recognize she’s a regular, but I don’t remember many details, and she seems friendly enough.)

Customer: “What’s this ‘Game of Thrones’ like? I’ve heard of that one.”

Me: “Well, some people are really into it, but it’s really violent. I’m not a fan. I don’t know if you’d enjoy it.”

Customer: “Ooh, no, you’re right.”

(She picks up a copy of Lee Daniels’ “The Butler”, and sighs.)

Customer: “I just can’t trust Oprah anymore.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Since I found out she joined the Illuminati.”

Me: “OH!”

(I remembered why I recognized this regular.)

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Some Callers Really Get Your Goat

| Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I work for a large insurance company in the car insurance department. We certainly get some oddball callers and queries, but a few really take the cake. This is one of them.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Company]; you’re through to [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I’ll be travelling to France in a few days and just needed to check some things on my policy.”

Me: “Not a problem at all. Could I just take your policy number…” *I confirm the policy and security with the customer* “Okay… I see you currently don’t have European Cover, but you are covered Third Party Only as part of your current plan. Are you looking to increase your cover to fully comprehensive whilst in France?”

Customer: “Yes. I’d also like to get the European Breakdown package as well.”

Me: “That’s great; I can get that set up for you…” *I explain the fee structure*

Customer: “One thing I need to know before I go ahead?”

Me: “Not a problem. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, I’m picking up my fiancé and we’re coming back here to get married.”

Me: “Congratulations, sir!”

Customer: “Thank you… but you see… I’ll be bringing her goat back to the UK with us. Would that be covered by the policy?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, did you say you’re bringing a goat back with you?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s the family pet and she won’t go without him.”

Me: *pause for a moment* “I don’t see why that should be a problem, but I’ll need to check with underwriting. Are you okay to hold for a moment?

Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

(I call through to underwriting.)

Underwriter: “Customer Underwriting Team; [Underwriter] speaking. How can I help?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from Customer Services. I have a customer who wants to check if we’ll cover him travelling from France to the UK with a goat in his van.”

Underwriter: “…”

Me: “Hello?”

Underwriter: “A goat?!” *laughter is heard in the background from other underwriters*

Me: “Yeah, it’s his fiancé’s goat; she won’t leave France without it.”

Underwriter: *stifling laughter* “I just need to quickly ask my supervisor.”

(During the brief hold, I jump back to the customer and let him know we’re just waiting on Underwriting approval.)

Underwriter: “Okay, his insurance won’t be affected by having the… goat… in the back of his van; however, we won’t cover damage the goat does to his van, or the goat itself in the event of an accident.”

Me: “Thanks, I’ll let the customer know. This is the oddest call you’ve ever had, isn’t it?”

Underwriter: “Myself, yes; not Underwriting as a whole, but you don’t want to know. Thank you for calling Underwriting.”

Me: “Thanks again.”

(I switch back to the customer and relay what Underwriting said. He’s ok and we go ahead with the changes to his policy.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, that’s everything. Thanks again.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. We hope you have a safe journey.”

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