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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Time To Face The Customer

| USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Patron: “Where’s the bathroom?”

Coworker: *points to area behind patron* “Oh, it’s over there on the right.”

Patron: “Thank you.” *leaves*

(Patron comes back a minute later, angry.)

Patron: “I thought you said the bathroom was on the right!?”

Coworker: “It is.”

Patron: “No, it’s not! I was facing you, so that means the bathroom was on my left!”

Coworker: *stunned*

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And When The Night Falls, Customer Calls

| ID, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem

(Companies call me when they need a truck to come pick something up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Trucking Company]. Pick up team. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to schedule a pick up.”

Me: “Okay. Can I have the phone number for the pick up location?”

(The customer provides this, which brings up the account and info for location. I continue talking with customer and in-putting info, until we begin reaching the end of the call, so I begin to close the conversation.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

(In the background you can clearly hear a male voice singing ‘I want to dance with somebody’ very loudly.)

Customer: “Nope, I think that will be it; thanks for your help.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Okay. Thank you for your business; please remain on the line for a one-question survey and have a great day!”

Customer: *sounds like he also wants to laugh* “Thank you; you, too. Goodbye!”

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You’re My Hero-in

, | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I used to do overnight cell phone tech support for a major provider. As I worked on the prepaid side, we tended to get weird or unreasonable customers on a consistent basis, especially late at night. The customer I’ve been working with in this story, however, has been completely calm and reasonable throughout our call. Also note that I have only heard him during the entire call, nobody else.)

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing else I can do to assist you tonight I just want to thank you for being the best part of [Company]. Again, my name is [My Name] and I hope you have a great rest of your night!”

Customer: “Thanks, you too! Good night.”

(At this point the line goes quiet but is still connected. Assuming he either thinks he hung up or is waiting for me to do so, I reach for the release button.)

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING?!”

(I jump, but realize that he’s not talking to me. For the first time I hear someone muttering to him in the background.)

Customer: “Why the f*** did you think it was a good idea to say ‘heroin’ while I was on a call? What the f*** are you going to do if I go back to jail, huh?!”

(At that point I released the call, hoping the customer didn’t realize we were still connected and the only person I heard talking about illegal narcotics was him.)

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You’ll Know Her When You See Her

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre

(We have one lady who is a regular and comes in every morning. I am fairly new to this store, but I’ve seen her in enough to know what she usually gets. She’s a little quirky and surly but has never shown signs of anything beyond normal old-lady crankiness.)

Me: “Oh, hello, Mrs. [Name]! Would you like your usual?”

(She fixes me with a look both terrified and furious.)

Customer: *shouting* “LADY, I have NEVER seen YOU before in my entire life! You stay AWAY from me!”

(She then runs from the store. My manager walks over.)

Manager: “Oh, yeah… so, that one? She doesn’t like knowing that we know.”

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Come To A Fork In The Road

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I work the metal detector at the local ER. It’s about 1 a.m. and it’s been pretty slow with only one woman with a cough. Suddenly a woman, a little boy, and a girl with a fork IN HER ARM rush in. The fork is jammed at a weird angle with only about one prong visible.)

Girl: *in tears* “I don’t think I’m gonna do very well against that metal detector.”

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