Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!


Fire Doesn’t Work

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Holidays

(It is the 4th of July and we close at 10 pm. A regular couple has been sitting in the lobby eating for 30 minutes after close. All the employees have been listening to the fireworks explode right over our heads, as the show is just down the block.)

Customers: *gets up to leave, sees a firework* “Oh, is that what those sounds are?”

Me: “…”


Very Sharp Humor

| Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(I’m the cashier. In the middle of scanning and bagging various items for a guest, she asks if I have scissors to remove a tag. I look at her, and just let my eyes glaze over, and drop my voice a bit.)

Me: “I’m sorry, they don’t let me play with sharp pointy objects anymore.”

(The customer actually stepped back a bit, and I smile.)

Me: “No, really. We can’t have blades or sharp things on the checkout lane; you’ll have to go to customer services to get them to cut off your tags.”

(I did that line several more times over the years and the hardest part was keeping a straight face. Freaked people out every time I could pull it off!)


A Uniform Response, Part 2

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bizarre

(I have just got off a twelve-hour day, and two-hour meeting, so I am stopping at an Italian restaurant to collect some dinner. I am tired, but also wearing full uniform, which states where I work, and has our logo emblazoned on every item of clothing, including my scarf and handbag. It is very obvious that I work for a travel agency, and not for this restaurant. The staff are all wearing bright red aprons which are starkly opposite my dark navy blue uniform.)

Waitress: “What can I get you?”

Me: *places order*

Waitress: “That’s awesome, and will be 10 minutes. Do you mind taking a seat in our waiting area?”

(I take a seat and start reading a magazine. I am barely awake, and it’s very obvious.)

Customer #1: “Hey! You aren’t allowed to sleep here! Get back to work!”

(The noise has jolted me from my daze and I wonder who they are talking to.)

Customer #1: “Ring up my bill! And give me your manager’s name! I can’t believe you have the audacity to sleep on the job!”

Me: “Sorry? I don’t work here. ”

Customer #1: “You’re wearing a uniform!”

Waitress: “Ma’am! I’ll ring up your order. This lady is another customer. She’s just waiting for a takeaway.”

Customer #1: “Well, if she doesn’t work here, she shouldn’t be wearing a uniform!”

(The waitress assists the customer, and tries to scoot her out the door, but not before she stops to give me a literal finger wagging.)

Waitress: “I’m so sorry. Your order won’t be much longer. I’m not sure why she thought you were staff!”

(A few minutes pass, and my order is ready. I go up to pay and collect my food. I am second in line. There is a large jar of candy for customers to take a few when they are paying.)

Customer #2: *turning to me* “Am I allowed to take these?”

Me: “I don’t work here. I don’t know.”

Customer #2: “Oh! You don’t work here?”

Me: “NO.”

Customer #2: “Then why are you wearing a uniform?”

(Thankfully at this stage my order was done, and I was able to leave. I still heard the “Why doesn’t she work here?” echoing as I ran!)


Baby, Don’t Come Back

| Enfield, London, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I am a customer in this story, observing another customer. As I am walking into the shop to order, a young woman with a baby in a pram cuts in front of me and walks up to the counter.)

Woman: *to the server at the counter* “Look at my baby! He’s so cute!”

Server: “Yes! How lovely.”

Woman: “Look at how he’s dressed up! So cute!”

Server: “Aww.”

(The woman continues to talk about how cute her baby is for a minute, oblivious to the fact that I am waiting to order. There is now also another customer in line behind me.)

Server: “Er, did you want to order anything?”

Woman: “Oh, no, I just wanted to show you my baby.” *walks out of shop*


Peppered With Inequality

| Evansville, IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am working in the drive-thru for a rather popular fast food joint.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]! What can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a [Combo Number] with a [static garble] and a [name of soda that has a Ph.D.].

Me: “All right, one [Combo] with a Dr. [Soda]. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Well, you can call it that.”

Me: “What did you mean, ‘You can call it that’?”

Customer: “I call it Nurse [Soda] ‘cause nurse is the female form of doctor. Girl Power!”

Me: “You know there are female doctors, right?”

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