Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Getting There One Micro Clue At A Time

| BC, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am a supervisor at a fast food restaurant. We don’t sell very much decaf coffee in the afternoon, so the decaf pot often gets cold before it is all used up.)

Customer: “Could I get a small decaf coffee?”

Me: “Hmm, it’s not too fresh right now. I can make a fresh pot if you like; it would only be a few minutes.”

Customer: “No, that’s fine; I’ll just drink the one you have there.”

(The customer takes her decaf coffee and sits down. She comes back a couple minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me! This coffee is cold.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. It’s not very fresh. Would you like me to put on a fresh pot for you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, I can refund your coffee, then.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “So… what do you expect me to do about it?”

Customer: “Microwave my coffee!”

(I microwaved the customer’s coffee, and she seemed satisfied!)

Red Apple Alert

| The Netherlands | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It’s very busy in the store so all staff is manning the tills to keep the lines as short as possible. An elderly lady comes through my lane with a few fruits and vegetables.)

Customer: “Hey, I just wanted to tell you that your ‘red apples’ are Gala apples! They’re not red apples!”

Me: “Ma’am, we sell different species of red apples based on the season. Currently, that’s Gala apples. A few weeks ago we had Elstar.”

Customer: “No, Gala apples are not red! They look red, but they’re not red apples. I looked all over the store to find someone and tell them, but I didn’t see anyone.”

Me: “I apologise, ma’am. It’s rather busy right now so all staff is manning the tills. We do not sell a specific red apple, just the type currently in season.”

Customer: “But it’s not red!”

Me: “Yes, it is. See, it’s red.”

Customer: “Yes, yes, it looks red, but it’s not… red.”

Me: “We do sell other red apples in bags.”

Customer: “I don’t want a bag, I just wanted a few! And Gala apples are too sweet for me; I don’t like them. Why don’t you have red apples?”

Me: *gives up* “We also sell Granny Smiths.” *green, rather sour apples* “Those might be more to your liking.”

Customer: “Hmph, I might try those then. But you should still have red apples.”

Getting A Red Flag Here

| Doncaster, England, UK | Bizarre, Technology

(Less than a week ago my store had a new till opening system installed. After years of cashiers having to call out to customers which tills were opening, we now have a panel of buttons to press that makes the opening till’s number light up green instead of red. This is accompanied by an overly-polite automated message for customers over a P.A. system.)

Customer: *gesturing to the green, lit-up till number at the end of his transaction* “This is all very modern isn’t it?”

(I agree and say how it’ll hopefully make things a bit easier for the customers when we’re opening and closing tills.)

Customer: “So what does it mean then? Red and green?”

Me: *deadpan* “Red means closed and green means open.”

Customer: “Oh, right. Thank you.” *walks away from till to leave store*

Colleague On Till Behind Mine: “I REALLY hope he didn’t drive here today!”

Will Need A Drink And A Smoke When They Get Home

| Sault Ste. Marie, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer walks up to my register.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Not good. I got a call saying that people are breaking into my house!”

(I quickly scan her items.)

Me: “Do you have a frequent shopper number with us?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m in too much of a hurry to use it. People are breaking into my house!”

(She was buying vodka and cigarettes…)

It’s The Funniest Thing

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a popular drug store chain in Canada. We sell pretty much everything and I work in the cosmetics/skincare department. It’s rare that I get really ridiculous requests but this one was so memorable.)

Customer: “I need that thing that you put on your face. You know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Foundation, moisturizer…?”

Customer: “You know! You put it on the thing and then put it on your face!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to be more specific. What does the product look like?”

(10 minutes later we’ve finally decided she was looking for moisturizer.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I need that make-up thing, you know…”

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