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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Six Figures Under

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(I work at a call center for a life insurance company, providing information and support for agents and policy holders. I’ve actually had this conversation more than once.)

Caller: “I want to know why my beneficiary change wasn’t processed. Why was I sent a new form?”

Me: “Okay, if you just give me the policy number I can bring up your file and see what the problem is. Are you John Smith?”

Caller: “That’s me.”

Me: “Okay, and it looks like you wanted to name your beneficiary as… John Smith.”

Caller: “That’s right.”

Me: “Sir, you can’t be the beneficiary of your own policy.”

Caller: “Well, why not? It’s my policy.”

Me: “Yes, but in order for the policy to pay out, you have to be dead.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. It’s my money.”

Me: “Well, technically, yes. If you really want to take it with you, I suggest making arrangements with a funeral home to ensure that you are buried with it.”

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Surveying For Better Customers

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(Our store offers a customer service survey to every customer. It’s printed on their receipts. We try to emphasize that customers rate our level of service, and not things which are beyond our control, such as prices or which stores carry what items. The survey takes a couple of minutes to complete, tops. I’m checking our store’s current rating when I read the following…)

Survey Text: “Please tell us why you were not satisfied with your visit.”

Customer Response: “THIS SURVEY IS TOO LONG! Two out of five stars.”

Me: “Err… hey, [Coworker]? Did this woman seriously rate our customer service as a ‘two’ because the survey was too long?”

Coworker: “Yeah, and what’s really ridiculous is that she told me how great [Cashier] was for helping her try to recover her password information for her online account before she left!”

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The Cookies Aren’t The Only Things That Are Baked

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a bakery that sells mainly cupcakes, as well as some cookies. A young male customer smelling strongly of marijuana walks in.)

Customer: “Oh, man, cookies!”

Me: “Yep, cupcakes, too!”

(The man walks around looking at the cookies.)

Customer: “So, where are the chocolate chip cookies?”

Me: “Oh, we actually don’t have any. The closest we’re selling right now is oatmeal raisin chocolate chip.”

Customer: “I thought you had chocolate chip!”

Me: “Well, some of the stock changes seasonally, but we don’t usually do chocolate chip.”

(The man wanders around, apparently still looking for the chocolate chip.)

Customer: “What time do you close tonight?”

Me: “We’re open until 10 pm.”

Customer: “You’ll definitely have chocolate chip by then! Right?”

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Taking Account Of The Name And Number

| Austria | Bizarre

(I work at the accountancy department in an office. The telephone rings.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name]. Good morning.”

Caller: “Hello, Mrs. [My Name]. We had a talk yesterday.”

Me: “Okay, I do not remember our conversation. What was it about?”

Caller: “I called you yesterday and we talked about the confirmation.”

Me: *absolutely not remembering said conversation* “Okay, ma’am, I do not really know which kind of confirmation you are talking about. Are you sure you were talking to me yesterday?”

Caller: “I’m absolutely sure. Your name is [My Name], right?”

Me: “That’s right, but I cannot remember a conversation about any kind of confirmation.”

Caller: *getting slightly impatient* “We were talking about my husband’s proof of citizenship.”

Me: *completely confused since this is absolutely no part of my job as an accountant* “Are you sure you didn’t talk to somebody in the human resources department?”

Caller: “No, I’m sure I talked to you, Miss [My Name]. You are Miss [My Name] who works at the local city council, right?”

Me: “Oh, the name is right, but you are currently talking to [My Name], finances and accounting, [Company].”

Caller: “Oh, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I’m absolutely sure. You may have dialed the wrong number.”

Caller: “But a nice lady put me through to you!”

Me: “I assume you said you wanted to be put through to Miss [My Name], so our receptionist put you through to me since this is my name.”

Caller: “Okay, I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Bye.”

Me: “It’s no problem, ma’am. Bye.”

(I looked up the phone number of the city council and it is completely different from my company’s phone number. I have no clue how this happened.)

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Doesn’t Want Her Hair Getting Wet?

| IL, USA | Bizarre

(Several coworkers and I are sitting in the front office of the water park when a customer comes in. She approaches the desk.)

Customer: “Do ya’ll have any scissors?”

Coworker: “Sure” *hands them over*

(The women then proceeds to cut off half of her pigtail braids before tossing the scissors back across the desk and walking out to the park. The manager looks at us and says:)

Manager: “Did that just happen?”

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