Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!


Barking Mad

| VA, USA | Bizarre

(I work in the back offices of a museum. While this area is technically not off limits to the public, I seldom see anyone other than coworkers because this section of the building only contains offices and classrooms. A jingling sound comes from hallway, followed by “yip! yip!”)

Me: *to myself* “What on earth was that?”

(An elderly woman carrying a small dog on a leash suddenly peers into my office.)

Woman: “Where can I mail this?”

Me: *staring at shock at the dog inside a museum* “I’m sorry, what?”

Woman: “This. Where can I mail this?” *waves a stamped envelope at me*

Me: “Um, at a post office?”

Woman: “Where’s that?”

Me: *still eyeing the dog* “Outside somewhere? This is an art museum.”

(With a “Humph!” the woman put the dog down and walked indignantly away. I still have no idea how she got that dog in there or why she thought she could mail a letter!)


Baked In The Bakery

| Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(Two young men and one young woman walk into the store. They appear to be college-aged.)

Man #1: “So, these cupcakes are, like, really good, right?”

Me: “Yep! The owner bakes them herself using great ingredients.”

(They wander around the store for a minute. Suddenly, the other man pulls out a plastic container of marijuana.)

Man #2: “Man, smell this!”

Man #1: “Oh, s***, that is some great stuff.”

Woman: “Let me smell.”

(Since the container looks similar to that of the local dispensary, I decide a call to the police is uncalled for without more information, so I wait.)

Woman: *smelling the drugs* “Oh, wow, that’s really good!” *smiles at me* “One banana split cupcake, please!”

(As I get her the cupcake, I keep staring at the container of weed. The young men seem completely unfazed by this.)

Me: *ringing up the payment* “Have a great day!”

Man #1: *walking out, weed still visibly in hand* “Oh, we DEFINITELY will!”


Crazy From Eight Ways To Sunday

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work for a broadband and telephone company. I am on the ordering provisioning team who arranges for telephone lines to be installed. I am dealing with a returning customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure you want to port your phone number into our network? That can take up to 10 working days. If we set you up with a new number you could be connected by tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, I worked very hard for that number. It has no eights you see. It’s why I left your company in the first place.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “I don’t like the number eight. On my last bill with your company there was a call charged at £8.88… The phantom phone call. I want to keep my number.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll order this now and be in touch over the next 24 hours.”

Customer: “Do you have a number I can contact you on?”

Me: “Certainly, it’s 028—”

Customer: *gasps and hangs up*


You’re His Number One Choice

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a vendor. As I work in my client retail stores, I find myself constantly explaining I am not a store employee and can’t ring people up, get their orders for them, etc. In this particular store, my work area is near the layaway desk and the restrooms. I am approached by an older man while I am filling helium balloons for my client.)

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “I don’t work for [Store], sir. Please push that button to page for help.”

Customer: “Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “I work for the balloon company. Please push the button.”


Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I need someone to watch my f****** cart while I use the men’s room!”

Me: *relieved* “Sure. Park it right over there. Nobody will bother it.”


You Obviously Don’t Have An Anime Nose

| Japan | Bizarre, Health & Body, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am a European girl working in a bar in Japan that advertises as being international. Foreign staff are often popular with Japanese customers who frequently tell us how “kawaii” (cute) we are. On this occasion I am talking to a couple of slightly drunk Japanese girls.)

Customer: “Aaaaaaah, you’re so cute!”

Me: *smiling, since we get this a lot* “Thank you.”

Customer: “Ah, you’re so cute! It’s because your face is small and you have a nose!”

Me: “Thank you…?”

(Apparently having a nose is somehow exciting!)

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