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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Socks To Be Them

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bizarre, Transportation

(I’m another customer in this story. I’m waiting for my tires to be changed when the other customer walks up to the desk.)

Attendant: “We’ve found out what was causing the banging noise. Your tires are so badly worn that the steel cords are showing and it seems that one of them hooked a sock.”

(By this point the attendant is trying hard not to laugh.)

Attendant: “And it seems that it was banging against the inside of your right front wheel well when you drove.”

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And That’s How The Cookie Sale Crumbles

| Rolla, MO, USA | Bizarre

(There are a couple of other Girl Scouts, I, and our adult supervisor at a cookie booth to sell cookies. Typically, we are ignored, but not to this extreme.)

Girl Scouts: “Would you like to buy some cookies?”

(A lady, once seeing us, runs off quickly, avoiding any eye contact with us, until she reaches the parking lot. She then returns to a normal pace.)

Me: “Well, I guess she didn’t want any cookies.”

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Six Figures Under

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(I work at a call center for a life insurance company, providing information and support for agents and policy holders. I’ve actually had this conversation more than once.)

Caller: “I want to know why my beneficiary change wasn’t processed. Why was I sent a new form?”

Me: “Okay, if you just give me the policy number I can bring up your file and see what the problem is. Are you John Smith?”

Caller: “That’s me.”

Me: “Okay, and it looks like you wanted to name your beneficiary as… John Smith.”

Caller: “That’s right.”

Me: “Sir, you can’t be the beneficiary of your own policy.”

Caller: “Well, why not? It’s my policy.”

Me: “Yes, but in order for the policy to pay out, you have to be dead.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. It’s my money.”

Me: “Well, technically, yes. If you really want to take it with you, I suggest making arrangements with a funeral home to ensure that you are buried with it.”

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Surveying For Better Customers

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(Our store offers a customer service survey to every customer. It’s printed on their receipts. We try to emphasize that customers rate our level of service, and not things which are beyond our control, such as prices or which stores carry what items. The survey takes a couple of minutes to complete, tops. I’m checking our store’s current rating when I read the following…)

Survey Text: “Please tell us why you were not satisfied with your visit.”

Customer Response: “THIS SURVEY IS TOO LONG! Two out of five stars.”

Me: “Err… hey, [Coworker]? Did this woman seriously rate our customer service as a ‘two’ because the survey was too long?”

Coworker: “Yeah, and what’s really ridiculous is that she told me how great [Cashier] was for helping her try to recover her password information for her online account before she left!”

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The Cookies Aren’t The Only Things That Are Baked

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a bakery that sells mainly cupcakes, as well as some cookies. A young male customer smelling strongly of marijuana walks in.)

Customer: “Oh, man, cookies!”

Me: “Yep, cupcakes, too!”

(The man walks around looking at the cookies.)

Customer: “So, where are the chocolate chip cookies?”

Me: “Oh, we actually don’t have any. The closest we’re selling right now is oatmeal raisin chocolate chip.”

Customer: “I thought you had chocolate chip!”

Me: “Well, some of the stock changes seasonally, but we don’t usually do chocolate chip.”

(The man wanders around, apparently still looking for the chocolate chip.)

Customer: “What time do you close tonight?”

Me: “We’re open until 10 pm.”

Customer: “You’ll definitely have chocolate chip by then! Right?”

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