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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Like Taking Candy From A Store

| Switzerland | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I work at a take away restaurant that’s located inside a mall. When we are closed, we usually just put the lights out and later shut the doors when we leave. It is already past closing time this evening. My boss sits in the office and counts the money while I am about to pack my stuff and go home when we suddenly hear someone calling. I cautiously peek inside the dark restaurant and find a woman standing at the register.)

Customer: “Hello?! Oh, there you are, finally! I’ve been standing here for about five minutes! I want to buy something!”

Me: “Uh… Miss, we’re already closed. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “You can’t do that! I want to buy a candy bar!”

Me: “I am sorry, but like I said, we’re already closed. My boss is already doing the cashier balancing, so you can’t buy anything.”

Customer: “BUT… but I already ATE it!”

Me: “You did WHAT?!” *shocked*

(She shows me an empty candy-bar wrapper.)

Me: “So you’re telling me, you walked into this dark, obviously closed store, grabbed this candy bar and just ate it before you even paid?!”

Customer: “Well, yes. I was kinda hungry…”

(She then apologized and left us the money on the counter.)

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Feeding His Imagination

| Plymouth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance

(I have just convinced a customer to order a large piece of cake and a large drink, rather than just the biscuit he originally wanted.)

Customer: “You must have a lot of boyfriends.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Men love girls who know how to feed them. You obviously get that, so you must have loads of boyfriends.”

Me: *laughing* “Just the one, sir.”

Customer: *looking genuinely sad* “What a waste…”

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Got Them Dead In Your Sights

| UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(We have a database of all of our customers,. Once in a blue moon we get a relative of someone phoning to let us know they’re dead.)

Me: *on phone* “Hello, you’re through to [Opticians]; how can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, you sent a letter to my father telling him he needs a sight test. I’m afraid he’s dead now.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it; he was a moron.”

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How To Troll(ey) Yourself

| Ireland | Bizarre, Popular

(I’m sitting at the customer service desk when I notice a lady dump a load of items on top of a load of display boxes. She disappears off into the shop again and after a few minutes comes up and dumps more stuff on the boxes. The next time she comes back I go over to her with a trolley.)

Me: “Hi there! Thought you could use a trolley!”

Lady: “Oh, thank you! That’s a big help.”

(The lady proceeds to put all her items into the trolley before wandering off into the shop for more things she needs, leaving her trolley full of shopping behind her. A few minutes later she comes back, this time struggling to carry three 10-litre buckets of paint. My manager comes out onto the floor and notices her.)

Manager: “You’ll put your back out carrying those! Let me get you a trolley.”

Lady: “Oh, I’m fine thanks. I already have one here.” *gesturing at the paint that she put on the trolley* “Man, I wish there was an easier way to carry these things about.”

(The lady walks off into the shop again. My manager turns around and looks at me confused.)

Me: “I don’t think she understands how trolleys work.”

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A Far Away State Of Mind

| USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I work as a customer service representative for a catalog ordering company.)

Me: “My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *in a southern accent, with a shocked and confused tone of voice starts talking loudly through what must be a defective telephone* “You sound so far away! I can barely hear you! Are you far away?”

(I have an idea in the back of my mind what she really means but I just don’t believe it, so I give her the benefit of the doubt with my answer.)

Me: *wearing a headset* “No, my mouth is close to the phone.”

Customer: “No! I mean I live in Arkansas. Where do you live? Is it far away?”

Me: *deadpan* “I live in [Other State].”

Customer: *now settled and no longer confused, but still in a state of shock and speaking loudly* “OH! No wonder you sound so far away! [Other State] is very far away from Arkansas.”

Me: *face-palm* “Okay, well, how may I help you today, ma’am?”

(I finished the call without another incident.)

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