Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!


Message Receipted

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work in drive-thru at a well-known fast food store and I always ask the customer if they want their receipt to make the transaction go quicker.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *hands them the receipt*

Customer: *looks me dead in the eye and drops the receipt on the ground and drives away without breaking eye contact*


Xandra The Great

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Religion

(I work in a call center in Canada as a customer service agent for a well-known online bank located in the States. I am supposed to be doing some comparison testing for new programs so my trainer is listening to my calls with me while I am using the older systems. At this job, I go by Xander, short for Alexander. I’m also a mid-twenties, white male with no religious following.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. My name is Xander [Last Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, my! What a lovely name you have! I’m [Customer]. How do you spell your name?”

Me: “X-A-N-D-E-R.”

Customer: “Oh, X-A-N-D-R-A! Well, Xandra, it’s such a lovely name! Is it Asian by any chance? I don’t know if you are Asian or anything, but don’t you find it funny that most Asian names start with the letter X?”

(The customer goes on for about five minutes about Asian names as I mute my microphone, and my trainer and I are laughing to tears. She later reveals that she does think I’m Asian. Eventually, I unmute my mic and proceed to continue with the call, authenticating her and helping her with banking needs. While waiting for systems to load, she creates small talk, then she randomly asks.)

Customer: “My dear Xandra, have you heard of Billy Graham? He’s a wonderful person who follows the acts of God! You can buy his CDs online! He can help you, you know? I can give you a 1-800 number that can save your soul.”

Me: “No, thank you, Ms. [Customer]. While I do appreciate the thought, it is considered soliciting with providing me with a number like that. However, I will look it up the moment I get home.”

(I have to mute my mic while she is still talking about another topic so that I and my trainer can laugh again. I compose myself, unmute, and continue the call. At the end, I give the ending speech I’ve memorized so well and before I hang up, she asks me this.)

Customer: “Xandra, before you go, are you going to Heaven or Hell?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “I’m going to where the fun people are.”

Customer: “Is that Heaven?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it is, Ms. [Customer]. Have a great day!”

(The call ended. So, I went from Xander the mid-twenty white boy with no religious following, to Xandra, the Asian Evangelist. Considering the fact that I was constantly confused as a woman (my voice pitches high when I talk), I am unsure if this is an upgrade from the other phone calls I’ve had.)


Throw Your Claws In The Air Like You Just Don’t Care

| Shrewsbury, England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A very softly spoken and serious middle-aged man approaches me.)

Customer: “Hello, do you have any stickers featuring aquatic life?”

Me: “Umm… we have some of those 3D gel stickers for windows. One set is a sea-themed one.”

Customer: “Excellent. Do they have any crustaceans?”

Me: “Uh, I’m pretty sure there’s a crab sticker in that pack.”

Customer: “And what position is the crab in?”

Me: “I… err… a common crab position, I believe? With its claws in the air?”

Customer: “Okay. Could you please direct me to these stickers?”

(I did. He bought them. He seemed pleased enough.)


Getting Her Live Buzz Feed

| Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My store sold chocolate liqueurs for a while. I’m lazing behind the counter one day when a shirtless woman in a sports bra staggers in. She mutters to herself as she circles the store, then stops at the counter and silently STARES at the liqueurs for several long moments.)

Woman: “Nah… I’m buzzed enough already!”


It’s A Deal-Breaker

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer comes up to my register with four clearance items.)

Customer: “These were in the clearance bin; the sticker says they used to be $17 but now they’re $9.”

Me: “No problem.” *scans item and discovers they’re actually $4 and used to be $8* “Oh, turns out they’re only $4. They must’ve been labelled incorrectly.”

Customer: “Really? How much were they before?”

Me: “$8.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Never mind, then. $4 off isn’t as good as $8. I thought I was getting a better deal.” *leaves*

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