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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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The Voice Of Fairness

| AB, Canada | Bizarre, Popular

(In my day job, I’m an announcer on a radio station. However, radio money isn’t very good, so I take a second job stocking shelves in a grocery store. I’m working at the grocery store one night when a customer approaches…)

Customer: “Hey, can you tell me where the ketchup is?”

Me: “Yup! Three aisles over, sir.”

Customer: “Great! Thanks.” *pauses for a minute* “Ya know, your voice sounds familiar.” *looks at my name tag* “Hey! Are you [My Name] from the radio station?”

Me: “Yes, I am, sir.”

Customer: “What, is this some kind of contest or something?”

Me: “Nope. I work here.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “Well, money’s a little tight these days, so I took a second job.”

Customer: “But that’s not fair!”

Me: “Meh. Lots of people take two jobs to make ends meet.”

Customer: “BUT YOU’RE ON THE RADIO!”

Me: “I don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”

Customer: “You’re, like, the best guy on the radio! I can’t believe they don’t pay you enough! Don’t worry; I’ll take care of this.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Tomorrow, I’m going to head down to the station and talk to your boss! Now that the listeners know, we’ll make sure they pay you what you’re worth! Just wait… once I’m through with your boss, you’ll be running that station!”

(The customer stormed off, muttering about how unfair it was. He never did come down to the station.)

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Which Is S’more Unlikely?

| BC, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(I work evenings at a four star hotel with a restaurant attached. We have gas fireplaces in every room. I am the only one left on shift but luckily for me the owner is there doing her monthly audit. The phone rings and I’m busy so she pick it up.)

Owner: “Front Desk, how may I help you?”

(I pause as I see her roll her eyes.)

Owner: “Yes, this is a manager speaking.” *a small amount of time passes and she looks completely dumbfounded* “I’m sorry, sir, could you repeat that, please?” *pause* “Unfortunately, sir, there is nothing I can do for you at this time. I will have maintenance come take a look in the morning.” *pause* “Sir, not only am I unable to do that but I won’t. I will have maintenance look at it in the morning and if there is damage you will be charged a compensation fee. Have a nice night.” *she hangs up the phone*

Me: “What was that about?”

Owner: “Some jack-a** got drunk and tried to make s’mores in the fireplace. His marshmallow melted to the glass and now he wants a complimentary dinner for the trouble.”

Me: “Wow. Still not the strangest thing I’ve heard this week.”

(As if on cue the phone rings again. She picks it up.)

Owner: “Front Desk.” *pause* “Yes, this is the owner speaking.”

(She pauses again and looks at the room number on the display.)

Owner: “PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON I DRINK!” *she slams down the phone and looks at me* “How do you deal with this?”

Me: “Apparently the same way you do.”

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Doesn’t Have Gumption

Whangarei, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work in a supermarket delicatessen. My customer is a man wearing a “Bubba-Gump Shrimp Co” t-shirt, and it’s not long after ‘Forrest Gump’ came out at the movies.)

Me: “Hey, I like your shirt!”

Customer: “Well, it’s mine. You can’t have it!”

(Mental note: do not compliment customers’ attire in the future in case they think I want to take it…)