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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Has An A-Gender With The DNA

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I help manage a small clinic that does various types of tests. Today, we receive a very bizarre phone call.)

Client: “Hello. Do you do DNA testing?”

Me: “Yes, we do DNA testing. Do you need a test that is admissible in court?”

Client: “No. I just want to know if you do DNA testing.”

Me: “Yes. We do DNA tests.”

Client: “I get that. I just want to know if you do DNA testing.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am, but what in particular are you needing with the DNA? I guess I am just not understanding what in particular you need.”

Client: “You know. DNA. I need a test for DNA. I’m pregnant and I’m having a baby boy. I need a DNA test. I need you to tell me the gender of my baby.”

Me: “Oh. You just need a test to verify the gender?”

Client: “No. I need to find out if it’s a boy or girl. I’m pregnant with a baby boy and I need to know if it’s a boy or girl.”

Me: “Umm… I see. I’m sorry, ma’am, but we do not do gender tests here.”

Client: “But you do DNA. You can tell me the gender of my baby before it is born.”

Me: “No. I’m sorry. We can do DNA to find out who the father is but, we do not do gender-typing on an unborn baby. Your gynecologist can help with that.”

Client: “Oh. Thank you.”

(I’m still not entirely certain what it was she needed.)

Ordered The Chef’s Special

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m working the lunch shift in a downtown farm-to-table restaurant. We get a wide range of customers, from college kids and professors, to ladies who lunch. I’ve seated a normal casually dressed man, and one of my servers goes to help him.)

Server: *to me* “There’s something weird about him. He’s not making sense and doesn’t seem to want to place an order.”

Me: “That’s weird. He seemed pretty normal when I sat him. I’ll go talk to him.” *to customer* “Sir, can I start you with something to drink today?”

Customer: *unintelligible mumbling*

Me: “Okay, then. If you don’t wish to place an order today, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: *more mumbles*

Me: “I’ll have to ask you to leave; the dining room is just for our customers. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself, but you need to leave.”

(I step away from the table and am walking across the dining room towards the server when she sees something behind me.)

Server: “No, sir! Please be careful! White Coats, I need the White Coats!”

(The customer had picked up a fork and was trying to stick it in an outlet behind the host station. I strong-armed him out of the building while the server got the “White Coats” as backup. The White Coats were our kitchen staff, all wearing chef coats. A wall of them made great backup. The customer wandered away while I called the police. They eventually picked him up; he was off his meds and harassing local shops.)

Unable To Please You

| Lancashire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

(I am a cashier. Two customers approach the counter; one of them has an item of fruit.)

Customer #1: “Is this [price #1]?”

Me: “No, sir, it’s [price #2].”

Customer #2: *in a stern tone* “Please.”

Me: “…sorry?”

Customer #1: “So you should be. You say please when you tell me the price.”

Me: “It’s [price #2]… please?”

Customer #2: “That’s better.” *to Customer #1* “Don’t they teach people manners these days?”

(They put down the fruit and walk off.)

Me: “But… I… I was answering a question.”