Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Special Opposite Day Sale!

| Vancouver, BC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer comes up to my till with a basket full of items, which I ring up for her.)

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: “Oh, that much? I guess I got caught up in the sale… I don’t need all of this. Hmm.”

(She begins sorting through her purchase, separating it into two piles. One she pushes toward me, the other she pushes aside. I restart the transaction, scanning only the items she gave me.)

Me: “Okay, then that’s [new total].”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s better.”

(She pays for her purchase. As her receipt is printing, my coworker at the next till indicates the pile I didn’t scan.)

Coworker: “Are those going back onto the floor?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “No! I just bought those!”

Me: “What? No, you bought these.”

(I indicate the pile which she handed me and watched me scan.)

Customer: “What the heck?! I don’t want those things!”

Me: “Oh… sorry. Okay.”

(I returned the items she had just purchased and sold her the ones in the other pile, but I still have no idea what planet she was from to think that handing items to a cashier is the best way to convey that you *don’t* want to buy them!)

I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here

| CA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m shopping at a store where the employees wear red and khaki. I am wearing a black tee shirt, blue jeans, and pushing a cart.)

Woman: “Excuse me! Excuse me! Can I ask you something?”

(Since there is no one else around I push my cart over to her. She’s in the hosiery section, and she’s opened two boxes of pantyhose and has a one leg of each color on a different arm.)

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “Which one is lighter, do you think?”

Me: “The one on the right.”

Woman: “It still looks too dark though, doesn’t it? I mean, for my skin tone?”

Me: “No, I honestly don’t think so. It will look lighter when it’s on your leg. I think it’s fine.”

Woman: “Do they make this in a lighter shade?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never bought that brand before.”

Woman: *getting exasperated* “Well, can you find out?”

Me: “No, I can’t. Maybe if you asked someone who actually works here.”

Woman: *eye wide* “You don’t work here?”

Me: *sweeping my arm to indicate my attire and cart* “No, I sure don’t.”

Woman: “Well, why did you come over when I asked for help then?!”

Me: “Um… because I’m nice?

Stop And (Meno)Pause For Thought

| Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body, Money

(Every month my store has items that are free after rebate. This deal is extremely popular so sometimes we run out of the items. A customer walks up to me with an ad paper and points to one of the free after rebate items.)

Customer: “I am looking for this item.”

(It was very obvious to me that English was not this gentleman’s first language. I also knew we were running low on that particular item.)

Me: “Well, sir, I can show you where it would be if we have any left. Follow me.”

(I bring him over to cosmetics area where the display was.)

Customer: “Why are we in the ladies department?”

Me: “Ah, well, sir, the item that you pointed out to me is a product for ladies.”

Customer: “Item is free after rebate, yes?”

Me: “Sir, I have to ask. Do you know what the item is for?”

Customer: “It’s free.”

Me: “Yes, it is free after rebate. But do you know what the product is used for?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “This product is a lubrication for ladies that have gone through menopause.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “It is a lubricant for women who are older and can’t have children anymore.”

(He stares at me totally shocked.)

Customer: “I don’t want that!”

Me: “I thought you might not. You have a nice day, sir.”

Well I’ll Be Ducked!

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am helping someone on the phone register themselves as a chaperone for summer camp. Everything is going just fine, until…)

Me: “Okay, sir, I need the date of your last tetanus shot. I understand it may be out of date but I have to enter a date to get your registration finished. Most likely the last time you had one would have been going into seventh grade unless you had to have one for a medical reason.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I had a medical reason… I just can’t remember off the top of my head. Let me ask my wife.” *in background* “Honey, when was I bitten by that duck?”

(Luckily, I was able to mute the phone while I laughed and the wife got him a date. How on earth are you bitten by a duck and why does that result in a tetanus shot?!)

A Transference Of Skills

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre

(I work at a well-known chain of supermarkets; however, this story takes place at a well-known hardware store. The two stores are completely different. I am shopping at said hardware place one day.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have anymore of the drill sets that are on special this week out the back?”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I don’t actually work here.”

(The guy looked me up and down and laughed.)

Customer: “I am so sorry. I recognized you from [Supermarket where I work] and forgot where I actually was shopping. Sorry.”

Me: “No problem.”

(This has now become a recurring joke between this guy and me whenever we see each other around town. He actually has a great sense of humor.)

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