Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Unable To Please You

| Lancashire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

(I am a cashier. Two customers approach the counter; one of them has an item of fruit.)

Customer #1: “Is this [price #1]?”

Me: “No, sir, it’s [price #2].”

Customer #2: *in a stern tone* “Please.”

Me: “…sorry?”

Customer #1: “So you should be. You say please when you tell me the price.”

Me: “It’s [price #2]… please?”

Customer #2: “That’s better.” *to Customer #1* “Don’t they teach people manners these days?”

(They put down the fruit and walk off.)

Me: “But… I… I was answering a question.”

What Came First: The Chicken Or The Crazy?

| Manila, Philippines | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am by the fresh poultry section waiting for my chicken to be cut by the butcher. There are other people lined up before me so I patiently wait as the line is short, anyway. A lady in her late 50s stretches her hand across me and tries to grab a couple of bags from the cold tray. I slowly back my cart away so she can have room and have ease to get what she wants.)

Lady: “Thank you! I could not get around this line!” *groans* “I’ll just cut these myself instead at home to save time!”

Me: *smiles*

(She then walks away. She comes back after I got my produce and starts another small talk.)

Lady: “Hey, look, these section here has a promo from [Brand]! You can get a FREE kg of chicken if you buy four! How cool is that? And these look so much better than what you got. Yours look a day old. It does not look fresh anymore. You might get a disease out of that.”

Me: *tries to be very polite* “Sorry, but I only need a couple. Also, I’m very certain that what they sell here are fresh everyday.”

Lady: *rudely takes the bags out of my cart and puts the chicken from the promo section* “Here… take these five bags and I’ll pay you half the price when the transaction is done. You can take three bags and I will get two. Totally worth it, right? You definitely saved some money!”

Me: “Can’t you just mind your own business? I told you, I don’t need that much! If you’re in great need of a discount, go buy in the public market!”

(While saying this, I return the items back and get mine.)

Lady: “But I hate the smell there!”

Me: “Not my problem! Ciao!”

Lady: “You better not turn your back from me while I’m talking to you! You need to take these!”

(Security approaches her.)

Security: “Madam, kindly put them down and come with me.”

Lady: “No! I will stay here until I convince this young woman!”

Security: *to me* “Young lady, you can go now. On behalf of the management, I apologize for the inconvenience.” *turns to the woman* “Please, come with me.”

Lady: “No, I’m not going with you!”

(I left the area as soon as the security said, with a smile on my face. When I looked back, the butcher was trying to contain his laughter while security talked with the lady. I paused and tried to watch from the distance. The security left the lady alone and she started to disorganize the fruits & vegetables display.)

Barking Mad Behavior

| Port Saint Lucie, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I work for a popular green market. A customer approaches with a dog in her cart.)

Me: “Aw, what a sweet dog!”

Customer #1: “Want to hold him? You don’t need to keep ringing me up!”

Me: “N- no, that’s okay. He looks very sweet, though. I have a dog—”

Customer #1: “Go say hi!”

(The dog suddenly leaps out of the cart and onto the moving conveyor belt! The other customers in line start panicking, while I hurry to catch the man’s dog that is now running up and down the belt, and across my scanner. When my manager finally gets the man and his dog out, the other customers and I stand in awed silence. Until…)

Customer #2: “That just happened.”

Me: “Ah, yeah. Yeah, it did.”

(We both stare at the paw prints all over the scanner and belt.)

Customer #2: “I can wait until that gets cleaned…”

Engaged In A Search

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance, Popular

(I am shopping with my fiancé, and step out of the store to take a phone call. When I re-enter the store, I can’t find my fiancé.)

Employee: “Miss, can I help you find something?”

Me: “No, I don’t thinks so. I’ve lost my fiancé.”

Employee: “We don’t sell those, but good luck!”

This Item Is High In Metal

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a music/movie store. We often get calls to see if we have something in stock before the customer comes to pick it up, especially if it is an uncommon title.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Can you tell me if you have something?”

Me: “Sure! What is the title of it?”

Customer: “Creamed corn.”

Me: “Are you referring to the band Korn?”

Customer: “No, the food. Why would I want a band?”

Me: “Because this is a music store.”

Customer: “Look, just tell me if you’re out!”

Me: “But we’re always out…”

Customer: “You’re a lousy grocery store!” *hangs up*