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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Donating Is A Scream

| LA, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I work as a donation solicitor. My job is to call numbers out of the phonebook and ask them if they’d like to donate to a fire department.)

Me: “He—”

Customer: *blood-curdling shriek*

(I’m just sitting there, shaking, the phone now about a foot from my head, everyone staring at me. And then I start to hear laughter from the phone.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *laughing* “I’m sorry about that; I just had to do it. What was it you wanted?”

Me: “Uh, would you like to donate to [Fire Department]?”

Customer: “Certainly! You can mark me down for fifty dollars!”

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A Very Large Closing Sign

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(At our department store, we have overhead announcements at half-hour, fifteen, ten and five minutes before the store is closing, alerting customers to please bring all final purchases to the registers, etc. We also usually have one of the team leads up by the front doors to let people know we’ll be closing soon and to please come back if it’s not a small, urgent purchase. The TL on the job this night is about 6’5″ and around 300 pounds, and this apparently happens at least three times a night whenever he’s given the duty.)

Team Lead: “Sorry, folks, we’re going to be closing soon.”

(He says this with a cheerful smile and a general gesture towards the exit doors; the would-be-customers end up looking TERRIFIED, and bolt out!)

Me: “[Team Lead], you’re not scary looking! Why do they freak out?”

Team Lead: “Apparently they’re not used to having someone that is too big to ignore tell them things!”

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Closing Before It Gets Too Hairy

Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Time

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “DO YOU HAVE MOUSTACHES?”

Me: “If you mean fake moustaches for costumes, yes.”

Customer: “Great. What time do you close?”

Me: “In about 10 minutes.”

Customer: “Can you stay open? I really need those moustaches and I’m on [Road that is 30 minutes away].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I have to close at nine.”

(Even if I wanted to stay open longer, I wouldn’t be able to as corporate sets the hours of operation and if I stay late I could be fired.)

Customer: “Please? What if you buy them for me and leave them outside the door? I’ll tape the money to the door.”

Me: “I don’t believe in lending money to strangers.”

Customer: “C’mon, don’t be a b****. I need these moustaches.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m ending this conversation.”

(I hung up the phone and started closing the store. Around the time I left the customer showed up to scream at me through the locked door. I guess those moustaches were really important!)