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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Taking The Call Is Not Their Calling

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bizarre

(I work at a popular chain bookstore at Christmas time. I am calling one of the sister stores to see if they have a book a customer is looking for. The phone is ringing for a long time when…)

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: *taken a little aback by them not answering with “[Store] at [Location]. [Name] speaking. How may I help you?”* “Umm… Is this [Store] in [Location]?”

Caller: “Yeah, but I don’t work here. I was just shopping and the phone wouldn’t stop ringing and it was annoying me.”

Me: “Oh! Um… could you… pass the phone to an employee?”

Caller: “Yeah, I guess so.”

(I stayed on the line for three more minutes. He never gave it to an employee.)

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A Weighty Description

| NY, USA | Bizarre

(I work at a retail store associated with a shipping company. A customer calls to get a shipping estimate on a small table. At this point, he has already given me the value of the table for insurance purposes, as well as the dimensions of it.)

Me: “And do you have an approximate weight of the table?”

Customer: “Not so heavy! I can lift it with one hand, easy.”

Me: “Okay, great! So it’s pretty light, then?”

Customer: “But not so, so light… Imagine that you are on a date with a cute boy. And your bag is full of all of your makeup. And you have a sweater. And your wallet is full of hundred dollar bills. That is the weight.”

(He brought the table in the next day. It was 16 pounds.)

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It’ll Be All Right, All Night

| Boston, MA, USA | Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Time

(I am doing a last walk-through at the library, picking up books and reminding patrons that it’s time to leave. I see an older gentleman sitting in an armchair in the corner, reading a newspaper.)

Me: “Sir, the library is closing now.”

Patron: *not looking up from newspaper* “That’s all right.”

(He makes no move to leave.)

Me: “The library is closing NOW.”

Patron: *making a soothing hand-patting motion in the air, but still not looking up* “That’s all right.”

Me: *deciding to try again* “Yes, but the library IS closing now.”

Patron: “Oh, that’s all right.”

Me: *loudly and firmly* “Actually, it’s not all right, because we need to shut off the lights and lock the doors, so we can all go home.”

Patron: “Oh! The library is closing now?”

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It’s Going To Be One Of Those Bays

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre

(It is the last call of the night. The customer is in California.)

Customer: “You sound like you are from the Bay Area.”

Me: “That is funny, seeing I am on the other side of the country in Florida.”

Customer: “Of course, you sound like you are from there.”

Me: “From Florida?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I don’t sound Spanish or country or like a snow bird.”

Customer: “No, but you sound middle-class.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “But it is my birthday; follow me on instagram.”

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A Shocking Inaction At The Contraction

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(A heavily pregnant woman comes to the counter. She begins her order, but pauses to clutch her stomach while groaning. It is a Friday afternoon.)

Me: “Are you all right?”

Customer: “Yep, just having a contraction!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: *resumes ordering, pauses to groan* “I have a pre-admission on Tuesday. She’d better wait til then!”

Me: “I don’t think your baby is gonna wait!”

Customer: “Oh, she will. It always takes forever. I have three other kids and they all took a few days.”

Me: *puts order together and hands it to her* “Well, good luck!”

Customer: *groans, clutches stomach* “Tuesday’s the day!”

Coworker: *after customer has left* “I bet we’ll see her on the news tonight having a baby in the car-park.”

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