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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Pest Control And Out Of Control

| FL, USA | Bizarre

(I’m work in the office for a pest control company. Part of my job is to answer phones to schedule or reschedule services for customers. Around four pm every day, our automated system calls customer to remind them of upcoming services dates, so we are inevitably flooded with return calls from people who don’t listen to their messages. Most of the calls are pretty routine, but this one broke the mold in a big way.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “You just called me!”

Me: “That was likely our automated system confirming your next service. Could I have your address to look up your account?”

Customer: “What?! You’re going to have to speak up! It’s loud in the ambulance!”

Me: “Pardon…?”

Customer: “My husband’s on the way to [Local Hospital]! You need to speak up!”

Me: *speaking loudly and quickly, as this is the last response I was expecting* “We were calling to confirm your next service! It’s exterior-only, so you don’t have to be home! Have a nice day, ma’am!”

(I hung up quickly and just stared at my phone in stunned silence as to why someone would prioritize calling back their pest control company over making sure their husband was okay!)

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Fifty Percent Off Is Way Off

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I’ve been helping a woman with her fabric. She has been a challenging customer from the start, insisting I carry her fabric for her, choosing fabric inappropriate for her project (using blackout curtain lining to upholster a chair), and disputing the measured length. I’ve finally cut her fabric and given her the ticket to check out when she asks if she can use a 50% off coupon on her purchase.)

Me: *in an attempt to be lighthearted* “The bad news is you won’t be able to use your coupon; the good news is that it’s because this fabric is already on sale for 50% off, so you can save your coupon and use it on your highest priced non-sale item!”

Customer: “I can’t use my coupon? It didn’t say it was on sale! I don’t want it then!”

Me: “You don’t want to buy this fabric on sale for 50% off because you can’t use your coupon for 50% off? Is that right?”

(It took me and the manager on duty ten minutes and a calculator to show her that she was paying the exact same amount for the fabric either way and was actually saving money because then she could use her coupon on another item in her transaction. She still didn’t believe us and the manager thankfully took over and rang her item at full price and let her use the coupon on it.)

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Special Opposite Day Sale!

| Vancouver, BC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer comes up to my till with a basket full of items, which I ring up for her.)

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: “Oh, that much? I guess I got caught up in the sale… I don’t need all of this. Hmm.”

(She begins sorting through her purchase, separating it into two piles. One she pushes toward me, the other she pushes aside. I restart the transaction, scanning only the items she gave me.)

Me: “Okay, then that’s [new total].”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s better.”

(She pays for her purchase. As her receipt is printing, my coworker at the next till indicates the pile I didn’t scan.)

Coworker: “Are those going back onto the floor?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “No! I just bought those!”

Me: “What? No, you bought these.”

(I indicate the pile which she handed me and watched me scan.)

Customer: “What the heck?! I don’t want those things!”

Me: “Oh… sorry. Okay.”

(I returned the items she had just purchased and sold her the ones in the other pile, but I still have no idea what planet she was from to think that handing items to a cashier is the best way to convey that you *don’t* want to buy them!)

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I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here

| CA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m shopping at a store where the employees wear red and khaki. I am wearing a black tee shirt, blue jeans, and pushing a cart.)

Woman: “Excuse me! Excuse me! Can I ask you something?”

(Since there is no one else around I push my cart over to her. She’s in the hosiery section, and she’s opened two boxes of pantyhose and has a one leg of each color on a different arm.)

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “Which one is lighter, do you think?”

Me: “The one on the right.”

Woman: “It still looks too dark though, doesn’t it? I mean, for my skin tone?”

Me: “No, I honestly don’t think so. It will look lighter when it’s on your leg. I think it’s fine.”

Woman: “Do they make this in a lighter shade?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never bought that brand before.”

Woman: *getting exasperated* “Well, can you find out?”

Me: “No, I can’t. Maybe if you asked someone who actually works here.”

Woman: *eye wide* “You don’t work here?”

Me: *sweeping my arm to indicate my attire and cart* “No, I sure don’t.”

Woman: “Well, why did you come over when I asked for help then?!”

Me: “Um… because I’m nice?

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Stop And (Meno)Pause For Thought

| Seattle, WA, USA | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body, Money

(Every month my store has items that are free after rebate. This deal is extremely popular so sometimes we run out of the items. A customer walks up to me with an ad paper and points to one of the free after rebate items.)

Customer: “I am looking for this item.”

(It was very obvious to me that English was not this gentleman’s first language. I also knew we were running low on that particular item.)

Me: “Well, sir, I can show you where it would be if we have any left. Follow me.”

(I bring him over to cosmetics area where the display was.)

Customer: “Why are we in the ladies department?”

Me: “Ah, well, sir, the item that you pointed out to me is a product for ladies.”

Customer: “Item is free after rebate, yes?”

Me: “Sir, I have to ask. Do you know what the item is for?”

Customer: “It’s free.”

Me: “Yes, it is free after rebate. But do you know what the product is used for?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “This product is a lubrication for ladies that have gone through menopause.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “It is a lubricant for women who are older and can’t have children anymore.”

(He stares at me totally shocked.)

Customer: “I don’t want that!”

Me: “I thought you might not. You have a nice day, sir.”

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