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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Try To Flush This Customer From Your System

| Mankato, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I am looking at cold medicine when a man stops me.)

Man: “Excuse me; do you know where the laxatives are?”

(Assuming he had a good reason for asking a stranger, I show him a few aisles over.)

Man: “Oh, this can’t be right… What about suppositories?”

(Very awkward items to ask for, but I find them and try to walk away.)

Man: “This goes where? Oh god! I am trying this new diet thing… But it can’t be correct.”

Me: “Well, there are some diets these days that try to ‘flush’ you out, so it’s not uncommon.”

(Visually perplexed, he sets them back and mumbles:)

Me: “I better rethink this.”

(I quickly wander to a completely different section of the store, and shortly after, he came up to me again.)

Man: “So, do you even work here?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Man: “Huh…” *he slowly walks away*

That’s One For The Books

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

(A customer drives up to the store, gets out, comes in, and walks directly up to the counter without looking at a single book or item for sale. Before I can even welcome him…)

Customer: “You are going to lose your job.”

Me: *shocked* “I am?”

Customer: “No one likes books anymore. Your store is going to shut down and you’ll be out of a job.”

(He turned around, walked out without looking at a single item, jumped in his car, and left.)

Dude Needs Some Sleep

| Big Rapids, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m working on register at about eight am when a middle-aged woman walks in. She is quite intoxicated.)

Customer: “I slept in the woods last night.”

Me: “Okay? How can I help you?”

Customer: “I had to put this flower in my hair because they said I looked like a dude. I’m not a dude. Do you think I look like a dude?”

Me: “No… What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need cigarettes. But they made me sleep outside in the woods. I don’t know where. But they kept calling me a dude!”

(I ring up her cigarettes hoping she leaves soon.)

Customer: “It’s like that song. Dude looks like a lady. Except the opposite. Lady looks like a dude. I’M NOT A DUDE!”