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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

The Paint Is In Aisle Five; Prepare To Die

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(My 20-year-old son goes to a craft store with me. He has long hair, pulled back in a ponytail, slightly ratty jeans, and an oversized t-shirt with a small name-tag which says ‘hello my name is Inigo Montoya.’)

Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where are the buttons?”

(My son turns at looks at me, with a ‘help me’ expression. I walk over.)

Me: “The buttons are over that way.”

(My son and I look at each other and laugh. We then go to a second craft store.)

Other Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where is the paint?”

(Again I was able to point the woman in the right direction. My son vowed never again to shop while wearing that shirt.)

Was Dying The First Time

| Hampton, VA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I am working in a call center that takes calls for 800 numbers people see on psychic hotline commercials. The deal is we tell you the cost and then give the actual 900 number.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Psychic Line].”

Caller: “Help! I spilled my fish bowl on the bed and my fish is dying! He’s just flopping around! What do I do?”

Me: “Umm… what?”

Caller: “My fish is dying! What do I do?”

Me: “Put him in another bowl?”

Caller: “Thank you! This will save him!” *laughs* “Sorry, man, just thought you might be able to use a laugh tonight.”

Me: “Yeah, always appreciate that. Have a good one.”

(Two calls later:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Psychic Line].”

Caller: “Help! I spilled my fish bowl and my fish is dying!”

Me: “Dude, it’s me again.”

Caller: “Oh, hey, isn’t that funny.”

Pranks For Breakfast

, | Wheat Ridge, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I’m 16, working in McDonald’s over the summer, and for this particular shift I’m taking orders in the drive-thru. It’s about three in the afternoon.)

Me: “Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have an Egg McMuffin.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s one of our breakfast items, and we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just have some hash browns.”

Me: “Sadly, that’s another breakfast item.”

Customer: “Hot cakes!”

Me: “Breakfast item again, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have a Whopper with cheese.”

Me: “I’d be happy to serve you one of those, but they’re sold at the Burger King a block down the road. We have Big Macs.”

Customer: “I’ll just have a drink. Medium Frosty, please.”

Me: “And for that, you’ll have to go to the Wendy’s across the street. We just have regular milkshakes.”

Customer: “Medium Coke, then.”

Me: “Lovely! That’ll be $1.08. Please pull around to the first window.”

(I used the moment it took the car to pull around to take a deep breath before I turned to take the customer’s money, and saw him looking back at me with the biggest grin ever, laughing at himself.)

Me: “Hi, Dad.”