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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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The Memory Of A Goldfish Game

| Long Beach, NY, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I am the customer in this one. I have gone to a weekend fair to get zeppolis for the family, and decide to walk back to the games to take a look around. I am the only non-worker there. I am wearing a Yankees hat and a ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ T-shirt.)

Red Star Game Guy: “Hey, you want to give it a try?”

Me: “No thanks, I’m good.”

Darts And Balloons Game Guy: “Hey, every play’s a winner!”

Me: “No thanks, I’m good.”

Basketball Game Guy: “Hey, you look like you could do—”

Me: “No thanks, I’m fine.”

Baseball Game Guy: “Hey, Yankee hat, wanna giv—”

Me: “No thanks, I’m fine.”

Goldfish Bowl Game Girl: “Hey, I like your pirates shirt!”

Me: “No thanks, I’m fine.”

Goldfish Bowl Game Girl: “I… said I liked your shirt.”

(Suffice to say, I immediately apologized… though I was laughed at by the goldfish girl and the nearby Squirt Gun game girl.)

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Seeing Is Deceiving

QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I work in a call centre for a government department that takes calls from local residents. Calls can range from calls about bills to fixing holes in the roads to calls about crocodiles. I work in our main building in a closed off call centre.)

Me: “Good morning, this is [Department]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “Hi there, [My Name], you’re LOOKING nice today.” *customer laughs*

Me: “Thank you, so are you. I really like what you’ve done to your hair! But how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Wait… can you seriously see me? Holy s***.” *click*

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I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Buy

| Fresno, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Trigger Story

(I get two rather interesting customers. I do the normal “would you like a store card” spiel, and am told no, which is no problem. I run her card through the register when I hear the woman paying, in a very quiet voice, say this:)

Customer: “I wish this place sold butts.”

Me: *thinking I heard it wrong* “What?! Did you just say what I think you did?”

Customer: “Yeah. I wish this store sold butts. I need a bigger one.”

Me: *has started cracking up* “Well, you can have some of mine!”

Customer: *laughs and picks up her bag to leave, her friend laughing at her comment, too*

Me: “You’ve made my day. Have a great one!”

(Thank you, random customer who wanted a bigger butt. You made my day for sure.)

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!