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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Candle You Tell the Difference?

| MN, USA | Bizarre

(I have a booth at a local craft fair, and all my products are out. The craft fair is part of a much larger festival, so there are a lot of people walking around and looking. One woman, kid in tow, is walking past when her kid sees my stuff and calls her attention to it.)

Customer: “Oh, honey, I know what this is. It’s all that candle s***.”

(I do not, nor have I ever, made candles for sale, so none of what is displayed is a candle. Her kid is still pointing stuff out, so she apparently decides to teach them that Mommy knows best. She storms into my booth, where the following conversation happens:)

Customer: *smacks her hand on some of my products* “So, these are candles, right?”

Me: “No, ma’am, those are my small two-ounce lotions. They’re handmade and $2 each.”

Customer: *points to another product* “And what about those? Are those candles?”

Me: “No, ma’am, those are my wax melts, for wax burners. They’re also handmade and $3 each.”

Customer: *getting irritated as she fails to find candles in my booth* “Well, what about those? That’s those wickless candles, right?”

Me: “No, ma’am, those are my handmade soaps. They’re $4 each.”

Customer: *very irritated, to her kid* “See, it’s just all that candle s***!” *walks off*

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The Upstairs Does Not Register

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Customer: “Can I pay for this here?”

Employee: “No, you check out downstairs.”

Customer: *looks terrified* “Is… is this not a bookstore? Can I not buy this?”

Employee: “You can buy it… The registers are downstairs, though.”

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A Disturbing Way To Say ‘Do Not Disturb’

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m the idiot customer in this story. My family got two hotel rooms, one for my parents and the other for my sister and me. My mom comes into my room as I’m doing my hair in the bathroom, half-dressed. There’s a knock on the door and I assume it’s my dad.)

Me: *yelling* “I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!”

(Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t my dad. It was a hotel employee. He muffled a response of “uh, ok” and left. If you’re out there, sir, I’m so sorry. I hope I made your day though because my family can’t stop laughing.)

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Skim Over The Truth

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Comics Single

(I’m working my last week in a local health food grocery, and earlier in the day we were swamped with customers. Naturally, things will probably go out of stock until the next delivery day.)

Customer: “Why are you out of skim milk?”

Coworker: “Let me ask. Hey, [My Name], do you know why we’re out of skim?”

Me: “Well… I would assume because people bought it all. We could check the back stock but chances are it’s all gone.”

(Sure enough, we’re completely out of skim milk. Apparently the customer didn’t appreciate having the truth given to her, because she comes up later specifically to me. Oh boy.)

Customer: “You need to stop being such a smart-a**.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Of course people bought it all. That was stupid. You should’ve worded it like ‘the shipment isn’t here yet’ or ‘it’s stuck in the mountains’ or something.”

Me: “So you want me to lie to you… about why we don’t have skim. What?”

(So remember, if the customer asks you a question, make up the answer. Lesson learned.)

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In A Butter Bother

| Clute, TX, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

(I am the customer. I have brought peanut butter and bread to a hotel room, but have not brought a knife. Looking around the room, I have found a ballpoint pen, and am intending to use it as a spreader. My cousin, who I am sharing the room with, asks:)

Cousin: “Are you sure that’s sanitary?”

Me: “I’ll check.”

(I call the front desk.)

Front Desk: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. How sanitary are your pens?”

Front Desk: “What?”

Me: “The pens. The ballpoint pens. I’m seeing if I can use them as peanut butter spreaders.”

Front Desk: “I don’t know. Some people take them home, and some of them just come off a cart… We have butter knives!”

Me: “Are they complimentary?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

Me: “Can you send them up?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

(They did!)

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