Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

This Is How Musicals Are Born

| IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(My dad and I go to a hardware store needing eight bags for a gardening project.)

Employee #1: “Hi, can I help you?”

Dad: “Yeah, we need eight bags of mulch.”

Employee #1: “How many?”

Dad: “Eight bags.”

Employee #1: “Eight bags of mulch?”

Dad: “Eight bags of mulch.”

Employee #1 *shouting to Employee #2* “Eight bags of mulch!”

Employee #2: “Eight bags of mulch!”

Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

Customer Behind Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

(I laugh pretty hard at that. Later on, I’m putting the eighth bag into the trunk.)

Dad: “Wait, why are you putting that bag in there?”

Me: “…Don’t we need eight bags?”

Dad: “Oh, right! Eight bags of mulch!”

Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

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Will Always Find A Way To Get Hot And Bothered

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work as a manager at a fast food restaurant and sometimes I deal with incredibly strange ‘complaints.’)

Me: “[Restaurant], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I just got home from coming through your drive-thru and my chicken is too hot.”

Me: “…Too hot as in ‘spicy’ hot, or ‘heat’ hot?”

Caller: “Heat.”

Me: “Uh. Okay, it’s supposed to be hot.”

Caller: “That’s why I’m calling. The chicken’s too hot.”

Me: “I’m not sure I follow. What is it exactly that you want me to do for you?”

Caller: “Well, the chicken’s too hot.”

Me: “Okay, is it too hot because it’s been sitting in the warmers for too long or because it’s fresh?”

Caller: “No, it’s fresh. It was actually quite nice. Very juicy, too.”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Caller: “So, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “What do you WANT me to do about it?”

Caller: “Okay, you know what? You’re so unhelpful. Give me the number to your head office; I’m filing an official complaint.”

Me: “Uh, okay, ma’am. The number is [head office number].”

Caller: “You’ll be hearing from me again soon!” *click*

The Light-Bulb Moment When Wifi Took Over

| Canada | Bizarre, Technology

(I do tech support over the phone for a large Internet company. Some of the worst calls are for people’s wifi connections, because there’s so many things that can interfere with it, and people of course try to hook up everything from Blu-ray players to printers, but we’re only trained on (and support) actual computers.)

Me: “…And is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got these special [Brand] light bulbs; you can control them from your iPhone?”

Me: “Uh… light bulbs?”

Customer: “Yeah. Except I can’t make it work.”

Me: “So… these light bulbs connect to your home wifi and then you use the iPhone to turn them on and off and things?”

Customer: “Yeah. Can you help me?”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I don’t have a clue what to do with that. You have your wifi name and password now; I’d suggest talking to [Manufacturer] directly because I’m afraid I’m only trained on computers. I honestly have no idea how to connect your light bulbs to your wifi.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

Me: *to coworker* “…and a little piece of my soul just died just from having to say that.”

Smiling With Suspicious Intent

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m known at work for being cheerful and always having a smile for everyone. A customer comes to my till and puts down his things, and I smile and greet him.)

Customer: “What are you grinning about?”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I saw you grinning like you’re laughing at me or something. Stop that.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I was just trying to be cheerful.”

Customer: “Well, don’t! It’s too suspicious!”

(The customer finished the transaction and walked away, glaring and muttering about ‘suspicious’ the whole time.)

Smile, And The World Complains About You

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(We’re a small store so there are only three of us this morning: manager, coworker, and I. The manager is positive and helpful and my coworker is one of the most honestly sweet and upbeat persons I’ve ever met. She has a habit of using little verbal prompts, like ‘ok,’ and ‘uh-huh,’ to encourage customers to talk. It’s midway through the shift and a customer comes barreling up to Manager and me.)

Customer: “I need help! I need help and that other one won’t help!”

Manager & Me: *after exchanging puzzled looks* “I’m sorry, how can we help?”

Customer: “I asked the other girl and she just smiled and kept saying ‘uh-huh’ while I talked. You should talk to her! She should be fired! That’s so rude!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, she… smiled?”

Customer: “Exactly! So rude! You need to talk to her!”

Manager: *to me* “I’ll handle this…”

(He shadows her around for about half an hour, deliberately steering her away from my coworker. Finally the customer’s done and the manager makes sure I’m the one checking her out. She’s still complaining.)

Me: *super cheerful* “Looks like you found some great stuff!”

Customer: “I can’t believe you let her work here! Everyone knows it’s rude to smile and say ‘uh-huh!’ I was in [Big Chain Supermarket] earlier and I could barely walk in before there was some idiot smiling and saying that! She’s horrible! She just kept smiling while I talked. She needs to find a different job. I don’t come in here for that sort of treatment!”

Me: “I can’t imagine…”

Customer: “And I’m such a nice person! I never get upset unless it’s something huge! She should be fired!”

Me: “I’m quite certain our manager will talk with her. Now, how would you like to pay?”

(I get the customer checked out and the manager makes certain my coworker is hiding when the customer leaves. Afterwards we all just sort of look at each other like, ‘well, that happened.’ My coworker looks ready to cry.)

Me: *to coworker* “Stop smiling. So rude.”

(Fortunately that made her crack up and, oddly, we haven’t had any other complaints about her smile!)

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