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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Actions Are Totally Out Of Order

| Wichita, KS, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(It is near the end of my shift and I am cleaning the bathrooms in my section. The only event currently going on is being held at the other end of the building; there are two other sets of bathrooms and several closed doors between the event and my area. Nonetheless, out of habit, I have put up the “CLOSED FOR CLEANING” sign in the doorway of the women’s bathroom. It’s a bright yellow sign, on a bright yellow safety bar, that is at chest level so that people can’t just walk underneath it. I have just finished cleaning the mirrors and sinks. As I turn away from the mirrors, a woman walks in.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but this bathroom is closed.”

Woman: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because I’m cleaning it.”

Woman: “Well, you should have a sign up!”

Me: “Uh, I do. Right across the doorway”

Woman: “Well, that doesn’t apply to me! I have to go!”

Me: “Are you with the group on the other side of the church?”

Woman: “YES! Now let me use the bathroom!”

Me: “Ma’am, you would have had to pass by two other bathrooms on the way down here. Those were much closer to your event.”

Woman: “I wanted to use this one!”

(My bathrooms aren’t that special; they’re the oldest bathrooms in the building. The ones by her event are much nicer and had been renovated only a year ago. One toilet in my bathroom is also out of order, while we wait for a back-ordered part to come in.)

Me: “All right, fine.”

(She tries to go into the stall with the big ‘OUT OF ORDER’ sign. The stall is locked AND taped shut, since people had been ignoring the sign most of the week and unlocking the stall. Thus far, the tape had deterred them.)

Woman: “Why can’t I get in here?! I want in! I have to go!”

Me: “Ma’am, that stall is out of order. The toilet doesn’t work. That’s why there’s a sign and the door is taped shut. There are seven other stalls that are just fine.”

Woman: *huffing* “FINE!”

(I go out to my cart to take inventory of what I need to restock before I leave, while I wait for her to finish. A few minutes later, she comes barreling out, knocking my sign out of the doorway.)

Woman: “Your toilet is broken!” *storms off down the hall*

(I rolled my eyes, put the sign back, and went to clean whichever toilet she used, figuring she had probably gotten the one with the finicky flusher. She hadn’t. What she had done was unlock the out of order stall and ripped the tape down… and then ripped down the out of order sign, tossed it in the toilet, and urinated and defecated on it. I had to call my shift supervisor down to turn the water back on to that toilet so I could clean it, which left me with a flooded floor from the huge leak that had necessitated closing that toilet in the first place.)

The Power Of The Lanyard

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I am shopping at a popular punk/pop culture outfitter for some new shirts. I have recently moved onto a nearby college dorm and am wearing a lanyard with my keycard and keys on it that clearly have my school logo on them. I am also wearing a t-shirt referencing a popular rock band and an animated series and have a purple streak dyed in my hair. As I’m stepping out of the dressing room with several shirts, I am approached by two fellow customers.)

Customer #1: “Hi, is it okay if I try these clothes on after I buy them?”

Me: “…what?” *thinking she may be asking the employee nearby*

Customer #1: *looking me in the eye* “Yes, I want to try them on AFTER I purchase them.”

Me: *deer in headlights* “Uh… I guess there’s no harm in that.”

Customer #1: “Excellent, thank you!” *goes to pay*

(Immediately behind her, Customer #2 approaches me, having heard the entirety of our conversation.)

Customer #2: “Do you have dressing rooms?”

Me: “Yes…?” *points to the room I just exited*

(He leaves, and I turn to my friend.)

Me: “They both thought I worked here!”

Friend: *laughing* “Maybe you should apply here!”

(Considering the stupidity of those two customers, maybe I should NOT.)

Even The Batcave Has A Woman’s Restroom

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m the customer in this story. I am with my girlfriend and her sister checking out one of the many Halloween stores that just opened up. I have purple and blue hair, a snapback on, facial piercings, and my arm was around my girlfriend’s shoulders. An older woman approaches me.)

Woman: *says something I don’t catch*

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Women’s restroom?”

Me: “Uh, I don’t know. I don’t work here.”

Woman: *walks off*

(I didn’t realize until she left that she must have thought that the fact that I was wearing a lanyard meant I was working. It was a Batman lanyard with my girlfriend’s car keys on it.)

Open Is Open To Interpretation

| Pasadena, MD, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(It’s Easter Sunday, and we are open until six pm. All morning we have had people calling to make sure we are open. It’s mildly annoying, but I understand why they are calling, so I decide to have a bit of fun with it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Just calling to see if you’re open.”

Me: “No, sir, I am a pre-recorded message.”

(I hear the guy laughing until he hangs up. I get another phone call.)

Me: “No ma’am, but you can leave a message after the beep. Beep.” *customer starts laughing*

Coworker: “Did you really just answer the phone like that?”

Me: “Yes, and will continue to do so.”

A Backwards Understanding Of Technology

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Are you a real person?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am.”

Caller: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “How do I know you’re not just programmed to respond like that?”

Me: “Well, sir, I guess you’ll just have to take my word on it.”

Caller: “No, that’s no good. Tell ya what. Tell me the name of the current Prime Minister, but say it backwards.”

Me: “Harper, Stephen.”

Caller: “I’m still not sure I’m convinced. I think I’ll just go talk to someone at one of your stores. Bye.”

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